Commissar Theocritus wrote:General Mousey-Tongue, I cannot believe that you would spurn being Commissar of Barnyard Fertilizer and Litter Boxes. Have you never seen <i>Soylent Green</i>? Now those people <i>rocked</i>. I mean, with all that chiaroscuro. The riots. The riot controls. All those dirty proles to control. Which are made into...barnyard fertilizer.

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]The litter boxes are something I really really need control of [/HIGHLIGHT]because it's not right that the Olbermann Head does not attract flies. Other that those who watch MSNBC.

My esteemed Commissar, as you already know, all dogs are coprophagous and Pupovich is no exception. Certainly the canine members have broken into the inner circles stores! I know this to be true, because every dog knows no better meal lies about than slightly dried cat shit! Unless of course, they can steal from their masters!

Comrade Che must not be taking his new job seriously. It can only lead to poor meals for our leaders and full cat boxes to manage!

Commissar Theocritus wrote:ReiuxCat. Seguin? I had a friend from the Socialist Youth School named Mark Weber from there. Nice fellow. For a capitalist.

Mark Weber may have been an aquantance of my recently departed brother-in-law, Dan Degn. If so, I knew who he was, but I did not know him personally.

Reiuxcat wrote:Year 1993 (Waco)

Yo G, is that a Ford Pinto Urban Assault Vehicle in the photo?

No wonder the anti-progressive hold-outs in the compound blew themselves up without any aggression from the progressive state safety officers that were attempting to save them from their selves.




Comrade “Pul” хулиганье
Tiglath-Pileser III
Over 2753 Years of Organizing Communities

And makin' thugs out you suckas.
From the cradle to the grave.

General Mousey-Tongue, how about Commissar of Inspecting Safety-Deposit Boxes? In the Progressive World of Next Tuesday the Party will be given a duplicate key to the one that the customer has.

Would that serve?

And ReiuxCat, I had forgotten the coprophagy of dogs. Thank you for reminding me. And this would serve nicely to clean up the bird talent shitting after Pupovich is found guilty, <i>naturellement</i>, at his show trial.

Commissar of Safety Deposit Boxes! Bah! Commissar, we both well know once the One has had a few years governing, those boxes will be empty, unless Pupovich's Pigeons have deposited in them.

Of all the trivial, menial, servile, thoughtless, graceless, meaninglessnessess (oops, sorry) offices for one of my potential! How about Minister of Fast Food, or Commissar of Infomercials and Yard Sales. Bah! Bah! I say.

You know, the Fascists tend to die a lot younger than we do, but at least their trains run on time and they take care of their own!

Thank you for your advice Glorious and Kind leader, I have always been partial to Kevlar. Lead filled ASP Tactical Batons usually bring a smile to my face, If I may temporally borrow Reiuxcat. He grovels quite well and I can use him on a few Midnight raids. The experience will prepare him for his future responsibilities. Plus he has that “Sweet little kitty” Look that hides an evil mind. Earlier Murtha came to me stating he had heard of my promotion and was attempting to suck up to me. You would have been proud fearless leader as I played “Wipe out” on his fat little head. Last I saw was his waddling ass running down the driveway.


Oh CGM (Yo G, is that a Ford Pinto Urban Assault Vehicle in the photo?) I believe the vehicle you are enquiring about is in reality is a late 80's Mazda 323. Ahhh Waco and Ruby Ridge, the glory days of Janet (Johnny) Reno. Now there was a true guy who could play tunes with a baton….

Mousey-Tongue, you are really pressing my buttons. I offer you the inspection of safety-deposit boxes and you spurn me. Do you not know that when someone dies the IRS attends the opening of the safety-deposit boxes? And <i>you don't want that</i>? By the weeping sores and lesions of Chairman Meow, man. This is a gold mine. I have half a mind to put you in the dock with Pupovich.

Red Star, by all means make use of ReixuCat. ReiuxCat has a definitely evil feline mind, which I say surrounded by my cats Calvin and Hobbes. There is something reassuringly self-interested about a cat, you know--it cares for its own comfort and self-interest first of all and makes use of whatever it can. Just like any good socialist.

And to all: I came home today from whipping the proles, ready for a little relaxation and perhaps a spot of sport impaling and I find that there is <i>more talent shitting</i> on the Rancho. Oh, Pupovich, you will have a fancy show trial.

And then--your just desserts.

I am truly humbled and indeed proud to serve the collective in any manner prescribed!

I have just returned from combat training and will remain in my night camouflage.

<img src="https://reddawg.smugmug.com/photos/118543432-M.jpg" width="450" height="319">

NOTICE from the Office of Marshal Pupovich:
The original photo was reduced in size to prevent People's Sidebar from being pushed off side. The individual responsible for this has been reported to Central Planning.

Incidentally, I was once assigned to track Oswald in Mexico by Khrushchev himself after Oswald applied for a visa to enter the mother country. Here is the camouflage I used oh so effectively to follow him.

That is as fetching as Pupovich in his tutu. This cat looks like my cat Hobbes who when he runs down the hall looks like a walking coffee table.

And I'm impressed that you would track Oswald. Dear Nikita: ousted because he was thought not to be a strong communist.

Whereas we are.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]Mousey-Tongue, you are really pressing my buttons. I offer you the inspection of safety-deposit boxes and you spurn me[/HIGHLIGHT]. Do you not know that when someone dies the IRS attends the opening of the safety-deposit boxes? And <i>you don't want that</i>? By the weeping sores and lesions of Chairman Meow, man. This is a gold mine. I have half a mind to put you in the dock with Pupovich.

My esteemed Commissar, my sincerest apologies. You see, as you have observed yourself, we cats tend to look at things a bit differently than you humans do. But of course you know that already. I regret any discomfort or distress I might have caused.

If we can somehow work seafood testing into the final dealio, I'm in! I only live to serve the party,

- MT

Comrade Reiuxcat, your taco disguise has me intrigued. But wow, that black night camoflage really got my attention. Could you wear that to the show trial? I'll save you a good seat.

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:Grrrr...why are they looking at me like that?

As long as they stay in the tank, Comrade Reiuxcat. As long as they stay in the tank.

It is good to see you around the collective, we need more sensible felines around here to balance the obnoxious canine faction. You certainly pass the sniff-test! But perhaps you should get more rest, you appear to be barely awake in your portrait. Or, is this a clever ploy, comrade, to pretend you are unaware to lure enemies into a false sense of security. Oy, Machiavelli would be proud!

Comrade General,

The Pod would never harm you. They are loyal to the Cube and to our Glorious Incarnadine Trapezoid Leader. I will find some pictures soon of Aki and some others being fitted for their new finaments... We got away with much when we escaped our pens after Katrina, and those Navy tards hadn't taken off our gear so we made out with a great deal when we took off and made our way through the canal to the St. Lawrence where we now reside... we have some very nice gentle Belugas for companay...

Mousey... The Pod are your comrades in paws/fins... we are here to fight the good fight, and to take care of Housekeeping...

Here is a picture of young Aki having his bi-yearly dental check-up recently, and then here is a picture of myself... we have never been happier since arriving at the Cube... and Chicken Sushi is very skilled at caring for Meow...


Here, Aki has his teeth checked during his regular checkup...


A perfect checkup as usual....


... and here I am...

We even have a cat in the Kommissariate, The Rat Thing.


We did not name him thus. He came to us this way and fit into our merry band quite well as he also has some cybernetic adjustments. We are not at all sure which laboratory he has escaped from, but he likes water and he's quite vicious, and so a perfect Killah-Kitty for coming along on our raids, but he gets along fine with the pod... after all, we all like fish.

You see.... we are a happy pod, devoted entirely to the care of The Cube and the Party...

Yours in the Cube,
Sister Massively Opiated.

General, you are hereby awarded Commissar of Safety Deposit Boxes. And be sure to attend all the openings. I suspect that Meow could be made <i>veryL</i> jealous of what you'll find there. Negotiable securities, family jewels, the odd diamond. You know, things that people trust (foolishly) banks to protect for themselves.

And yes, about seafood. How about Commissar of Shrimp Sniffing?

Ah, Dear Sister, so happy to see you slapping your flukes all about. It's a wondrous thing, this diversity, and why am I caught in this Brit convention of the qualifier first and then what it qualifies?

By all means let's make these new comrades welcome. As you noticed I had to slap Mousey-Tongue about a bit to make him see he virtues of safety-deposit-box raiding. Ah, these youngsters.

But there are other promising nasty bits of work: Red Star, Reixucat, and Pul, although I think that the last is pulling my chain a bit. After all we're both alumni of the same William Marsh Rice Institute of Advanced Larceny and I wouldn't trust him farther than I could spread the stippled cheeks of Our Many Titted Empress.

How <i>do</i> these comrades grow up so fast? I recall, as I wipe a tear from my rheumy eye, the time that it took me to learn to steal a pencil from a blind man, and these people just <i>get</i> it. Except of course for Mousey-Tongue who doesn't realize that he can get all the goddamned fish he wants by raiding a single safety-deposit box.

Commissar Theocritus;

As your Commissar of Knocking on Doors at Midnight, I was was reading the fine print in the 3962 page, Job description/Code of conduct, I quote page 2311, it states

"Will keep head Commissar informed on any information found that they may use for Black mail, or just a good laugh"

with that in mind I found this photo of some of The Obamessiah Proles and "the many Titted Empress"




Please let me know if you want me and my staff to kick these Proles doors. If only to congratulate them..

Red Star, thank you for that picture of our Many Titted Empress. Ah, the memories that you bring back. I was there at that party. Our Empress was obviously rejecting that beer because she was doing tequila shooters. Have you ever seen our Empress with a beer hat? Imagine it filled with Jose Cuervo. Someone else's Cuervo.

After she was weaving on her trotters feet, she found her way to the downstairs bedroom and closed the door. After five minutes and lots of noise, she stuck her head out of the door, showing a little bit of what no one wanted to see and bellowed out, "Any of you fine young socialists want a piece of Big Mama Socialist?

"And all that you heard about Vince Foster is <i>not</i> true.

"Come on. Have a piece of Big Mama Socialist."

Which instantly sobered up the entire party and the entire fraternity foreswore alcohol and dedicated itself to soup kitchens.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pupovich, dear Pupovich. Of course we'll have a show trial, and it will be great one. And I intend to appoint your defense attorney myself. F. Lee Bruno. He graduated first in his class from the Lillian Vernon School of Trailer Trash Decorating and the Sears School of Elegant Coiffure, and has a gold-plated curling iron.

Dear Commissar, I must politely decline this paltry offer of a defense. I have the world famous Sir Pup Esq., of the world renown firm of Pup, Pup, and Canine on retainer. However, I really do not expect to need such expertise to deal with this minor excursion of insanity. Be that as it may, I do appreciate your efforts to promote me further up the ladder, for as you know, with each Show Trial, I have gained promotion.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Since I utterly deplore individual thinking, I must eagerly join the mob in denouncing Pupovich. My grievances against him are long, old, and unaddressed as seen from a post in the link below:

Comrade Pinkie. how wonderful to see you as you seem to have been less available lately. I feel your pain...but I am at a loss here. I read your complaint, but it seems to be more a complaint toward the actions, or non-actions of others.

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:
Comrade Reiuxcat, your taco disguise has me intrigued. But wow, that black night camoflage really got my attention. Could you wear that to the show trial? I'll save you a good seat.

Indeed I will.

Thank you for your undeserved kindness my General.

Marshall Pupovich,

Thank you for shrinking my pictures. I will see that all is posted properly in the future.

Pssst. Could you help me with my hemorrhoids?

Dr. Strangelove wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:And how sensible for you, Reiuxcat, to thank people for all the fish.

Speaking of which, I took this video of SMO with her pod:

Dear Doktor,

I apologize for my tardiness. I have been meaning to thank you for posting one of my favourite music video's, but as the insightful and compassionate Grüppenfürer Radnoskovich has pointed out recently, I have been much taken up with pursuing my imminent demise. As he so kindly puts it, no one cares to join me in my death spiral and I should put myself down, allowing my 'opium induced dreams' to carry me away because I am, apparently, an useless waste of space who deserves nothing but a shallow grave. As I understand it, because I am, as most of my friends at the Cube know, not well and must rely on prescribed morphine to manage with the pain of my severe arthritis and other autoimmune conditions and more recently, broken vertebrae and ribs, among other things, and as I have been left greatly weakened by the pneumonia that almost killed me last January, and required several months stay in hospital and which I recently contracted again, I am better suited for death.

He did kindly offer to help me in my 'quest'.... I had not realized I was on a quest to die until he so perceptively pointed it out to me, but after much consideration, I think he must be right. My weakness and honesty about my situation, which he construes as complaining, nauseates him, and as he is clearly much much more intelligent and sensitive than almost any other member of the Cube, past or present, with the obvious exception of our Glorious Incarnadine Trapezoid Leader, Red Square, I must admit that it has seemed to me since his pointing it out that I am a useless waste of space who has no right to share the air of those greater than myself and who have more need of it. Clearly, my dear friends here at the Cube have been humouring me for the last several years, extending to me respect and empathy that I patently do not deserve, as I am so weak and pointless.

I must admit that my tendency toward self-delusion did initially lead me to mistakenly believe that he must be an insensitive ill-informed asshat, who having not taken the time to familiarize himself with the 'geist' of The Peoples Cube took our joking in character with each other personally, not realizing that we aren't serious when we take the piss out of each other. I foolishly assumed that it must be obvious to anyone who bothered to take the time to get the lay of the land in a new situation, that our use of the words purge and denounce were lingo we used in a specific context and that he must therefore have simply leapt without first looking, and so not realized that there existed prior long-term relationships, friendships, and comradery... that it might be wise to test the water and check its depth so as not to create too much of a splash, or worse, break one's neck by hitting their head on the bottom of the pool. And so it followed that his seemingly cruel and personal attack upon me was a function of not understanding that no one was attacking him personally because we are all in character, and that in his wilfull ignorance, he had taken things much much too far, first losing his temper, calling several of us names and saying he was leaving after telling us to fuck off, and then returning, only so he could be as hurtful as possible.

Foolishly, I believed that even having returned he had not tempered his behaviour in an appropriate manner, having failed to heed what many of us thought were helpul posts that sought to ease his way into a more friendly position among us, and giving him the benefit of the doubt as to the ultimate nature of his character only to be twice bitten, and in my case, attacked in a way that was, I must admit at the risk of sounding weak, most upsetting, as I could only imagine that he must be lashing out and trying his best to use my illness and unhappy situation as a weapon with which to inflict as much pain as possible. Given that I am, in fact, pretty useless compared to my 'previous life' in which I was healthy, self-sufficient, and moreover, physically and emotionally quite strong, I simply felt (and again, I am shamed and apalled at my weakness in admitting the truth... admitting that he scored a 'hit') profoundly hurt and upset, and found myself feeling what he might not understand, as I did recently complain about a rough week I'd had which was very frustrating, that generally, I deal with the difficulties in my life in a mostly positive manner and try to put a happy face on it. I did feel that the reward for my honesty, among friends, in a thread addressed to me by my dear friend Theocritus, was to be attacked for something I have little control over and which I wish most devoutly were otherwise... by a cruel, vindictive prick who had come, seemingly, from nowhere and with no history of any contribution whatsoever to a place which was, to that point, a refuge for me where I could be honest about the reality of my situation, while still contributing as much as possible, not to silly over-the-top conversations, but with actual submissions and participation in meaningful and important political satire.

But, my dear Doktor, in the interim, as I have considered things, I have come to see that in truth, I am pointless and my reason for being... nothing. I am weak and a tiresome burden to my friends, and so I thought to make things easier on everyone... I have not been very considerate, you see... I should, perhaps, speed things along and just fucking off myself, as the perspicacious Grüppenfürer Radnoskovich has to helpfully and solicitously suggested. But I would be remiss in my duties to the Cube, meaningless as they may be, were I not to at least attempt to contribute one last thing, in thanks for the tolerance and care my comrades have so thanklessly shown me during my idiotic tenure here. The idea came to me as I read a news report of another worthless comrade in arms who had, coming to the same conclusion as I have regarding his meaninglessness, decided to altruistically remove himself from the picture by shuffling off this mortal coil live via webcam to a chatroom he often participated in. He was, kindly, helped along by his 'friends', many of whom cheered on his apparent only selfless act among his fellows, and who showed their appreciation by not calling 911 until it was clear that he was no longer breathing... Unfortunately, the show he put on was a rather boring one as he simply swallowed a handful of pills and went to sleep, permanently. Now, this is something I could easily do as I have more than the means to stop the respiration of not only myself but several racehorses, but it would be agonizingly boring to watch me fall asleep, I believe... as I have said recently in another thread, like an Eric Rohmer film... watching paint dry... And as I have just recently had my hair died... ooops... Freudian slip!.. heheheheh.. dyed, it's normal fluorescent Red colour, which I adopted to indicated my steadfast devotion to the Party, the Cube and the Collective, I believe I simply must do something more dramatic, keeping in mind that I am limited in some regards by my disability and a distint lack of things to which I may attach a noose and still be able to broadcast it via webcam...

But as this is a collective, I thought it might be fun to take suggestions... a contest, as we haven't had one in quite a while... Won't that be fun?... I think it should be called, How Should Sister Kill Herself for the Good of the Kollective? The prize for best suggestion which is usable, because I know that there are some very creative sorts among us who will come up with wonderful ideas which are, unfortunately, beyond my physical and financial means... where was I?.. On yes! The prize for the best usable suggestion will be the disposition of my vast library of books, CD's and DVD's (with the exception of a number that will go to my dear Comrade Otis, as he has consistently kept me much entertained during my illness with a constant stream of books and DVD's with which to occupy and cheer myself, as well as a number of figurines and actual works of art - paintings and sculptures which will go to dear Theocritus, who has most thoughtfully sent me the most endearingly ugly oriental frog figurine, and Dear Pravda and Laika who will split among them much of my CD collection, as they have been the comrades with which I share music with the most... though the classical goes to Theo as well... as well, there are a number of martial arts DVD's which will go to Betty, any remaining prescription drugs, which will go to Meow, and my vast collection of cookbooks and knives which will be shared between Pinkie and Che... My power tools go to you, dear Doktor)...

And now, just to get this party started, a few suggestions, not meaning to deny anyone the opporunity to win the prize by taking what would have been their idea... I will, first of all, NOT, shoot myself as this will leave too much of a mess for my family to clean up... and I will not simply take a fraction of my vast supply of prescriptions medications, at least not in pill form.. However, as an example, I might crush, cook up and purify a mixture of morphine, valium, clonazepam, ativan, and some of the contents of the compounded salve I use on my spine which contains, entertainingly ketamine, and lidocaine, and having created an injectable cocktail, mainline it using one of the many syringes I have for giving myself injections of both my arthritis meds and my B12 supplements... The drawbacks to this, which must be considered along with the benefits in terms of entertainment value are: it will be very quick, and I will almost immediately begin seizing and vomiting before I die... The benefits to this are: it will be very quick, and I will almost immediately begin seizing and vomiting before I die. Another possibility is taking a bath and dropping an electrical implement into it, having removed the ground fault circuit interrupters... the drawbacks to this is that is will be quick, and despite the bubbles, I might flop about, thereby appearing naked, which I'm quite sure nobody will be interested in seeing... The benefits are that I get a bubble bath out of it... And finally, defenestration... I live on the 10th floor... the drawbacks are that if will be very fast and I can't guarantee that it will be caught entirely on webcam without someone there to make sure that it is pointing at me as I fall and hit my target, which will involve another who might well be charged with some criminal act... the benefits are that it will be quick, and since I've cracked a number of vertebrae I've been told that there is no hope I will ever be able to skydive again, and so this will stand in its stead, at least once, as far as freefalling goes...

Okay people!... I've given you some examples, none of them very creative, really, when it comes to it, and the entertainment value of which I find I can't be entirely objective about... Now it's your turn... Dazzle me! I might as well go out with a bang... and as Grüppenfürer Radnoskovic has so helpfully pointed out, I'll be doing you all a favour... so please, participate and do me one!

And so, dear Doktor, as you can see, my mind has been much taken up with important matters, but as I am now finished thinking about these things, I can take the time I most assuradely should have before now and thank you, my dear friend, for so kindly posting one of my most favourite music videos and songs... I am, like Theo, a big Douglas Adams fan and miss his wit and intellect, and his storytelling greatly... he was taken from us much too soon.. an example of someone who did have a porpoise... I mean purpose...

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lasagna to make so that Javier will have something to eat after I'm gone... at least for a couple days... I am dying to see what you all come up with!!

So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!
Sister Massively Opiated.

NB - as originator of this brilliiant course of action, I am sorry to have to disqualify Grüppenfürer Radnoskovic from participation in this contest.

Cradle to Grave Marxist wrote:My Dear Comrade_Tovarich (YO G!),

As you well know (WAZUP HOMIE), the list of charges at any show trial is neither either (AINT SO, MAN). The list doesn't necessarily contains any truth, or even require proof (DATS DA WAY WE ROLL). The list is just the sheet of paper that the progressive judge waves in the air as he yells at the political criminal about the long list of crimes against the state (DON'T DISS DA GANG).

My only personal complaint (AH BE UP FRONT WID YO) against the former Marshall is that he was a highly placed party member (with more titles than I have) (DAT DAWG HAS GOTSTA GO) and many other highly trusted party leaders have seen fit to denounce him (DUDE DISSED DA WRONG GANG) (I want to be on the correct side of the firing squad line so I serve the party line like a good (I"M COOL WID DAT, YO) Democrat/Communist/Cube Party member.)

Comrade Cradle to Grave Marxist,

Currently no truer words have been written. Yo!

Sorry, let me add a little more inclusive diversity to that exclamation: ¡Yo!

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Remember: the cure for soft socialism is hard communism.

Comrade Commissar Thoecritus,

It is seared--seared, I tell you--into my memory. Bathed in sweat, I awake every moment to it in the forefront of my mind, reliving the ongoing memories of the preceding years, months, weeks, days, and hours of figuratively class combat across fields strewn with empty latte cups, moldy arugula, McCain '08 stickers, NYT op-eds, the literary blood of intellectuals, and more.

Cradle to Grave Marxist wrote:Yo G, is that a Ford Pinto Urban Assault Vehicle in the photo?

No wonder the anti-progressive hold-outs in the compound blew themselves up without any aggression from the progressive state safety officers that were attempting to save them from their selves.

Comrade Cradle to Grave Marxist,

A Ford Pinto? That's bad ass, emphasis on bad. But then I had a comrade with a jacked up AMC Gremlin with rear wheel fender cut-outs to fit slicks on. Playboy doorlocks and air freshener, natch.

Somewhere the song "Memories" is playing to the smell of burning rubber.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:That is as fetching as Pupovich in his tutu. This cat looks like my cat Hobbes who when he runs down the hall looks like a walking coffee table.

And I'm impressed that you would track Oswald. Dear Nikita: ousted because he was thought not to be a strong communist.

Whereas we are.

Comrades,

The disguise is dazzling.

Did not Nikita go on to market combat shoes and flip-flops for revolutionaries worldwide in the '60s? Well, excepting those in Berkeley who went barefoot. A job that let him lead a life of anonymity but allowed plenty of permission for travel and pocketing hard currency.

Comradette SMO,

I don't read all threads, but when things turn that ugly and personal, something or someone has gone seriously wrong. Personally, I wish you all the best health and years more in ever-improving condition. Moreover, I thank you (and Red Square) for my chic avatar improvement.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:General, you are hereby awarded Commissar of Safety Deposit Boxes. And be sure to attend all the openings. I suspect that Meow could be made <i>veryL</i> jealous of what you'll find there. Negotiable securities, family jewels, the odd diamond. You know, things that people trust (foolishly) banks to protect for themselves.

And yes, about seafood. How about Commissar of Shrimp Sniffing?

Comrade General Cat.... you would settle for such a meaningless position such as this? You correctly surmised that there will be little to be found in those safety deposit boxes now that the Age of Obama has arrived. I on the other hand offered you to name your own command..... but if you prefer to remain a Commissar of such "promise," then by all means, take it, for clearly I may have misjudged your military talents.....

To my "comrades" who have been allegedly finding all of these items in my dacha and car, may I suggest that you need some refresher courses in the KMRC? For how else can one explain how you all missed this little item in my closet?

As for the collective as a whole, I must admit the notion of me being on Show Trial does cause a warm tinkle down my legs. However, it hardly behooves one of my position and known loyalty to the Party to succumb to this "draft" initiated by Commissar Theorcritus. For the many new comers to the Collective, I should point out that I already hold the record for being the defendant in Show Trials. In fact, I have more than enough Frequent Defendant Points to pay off any such trial if I so chose....not to mention my stash of pictures, recordings, and records on my compatriots. But given my many opportunities to show my Party loyalty and the increased probability of yet another promotion, it only seems right that one should step aside and let someone have their day in the docket, one who has not been tried recently if at all. one perhaps like the Commissar Theocritus for example.

And no, before you say it, I am not suggesting that the Commissar should be on trial for his blatant Bait and Switch Scheme that he has managed to pull on less experienced Cube Comrades. for that is a tried and true method that all would be Inner Circle members practice - shift the light on to another when faced with personal scandal. No, the mere fact that our beloved Commissar Theocritus has recently been in the spotlight for sponsoring and promoting Comade Rad....Rad.... again, I simply can not bear to speak his name....Non-person R. whose criminality and insane actions set a new record of decadence. No, I am not suggesting that Commissar Theocrtus should face a Show Trial for this... no, but as a show of Love and Compassion for the Commissar.

However, that being said, should I receive a message from the Hero Space Dog that I should face the Party in a Show Trial AGAIN, SO SOON, then I would be honored to do my part for the Party.

Comrade_Tovarich wrote:Comradette SMO,

I don't read all threads, but when things turn that ugly and personal, something or someone has gone seriously wrong. Personally, I wish you all the best health and years more in ever-improving condition. Moreover, I thank you (and Red Square) for my chic avatar improvement.

No Worries, Dear Comrade Tovarich,

I have not put a deadline, so to speak, on the contest, and so it may take years for me to decide who the winner is... and you are most welcome for whatever contribution I made to your avatar... ultimately, Red does most of the fixing up... I do love the compassionate Panda eyes...

Yours in the Cube
SMO

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:General, you are hereby awarded Commissar of Safety Deposit Boxes. And be sure to attend all the openings. I suspect that Meow could be made <i>veryL</i> jealous of what you'll find there. Negotiable securities, family jewels, the odd diamond. You know, things that people trust (foolishly) banks to protect for themselves.

And yes, about seafood. How about Commissar of Shrimp Sniffing?

Comrade General Cat.... you would settle for such a meaningless position such as this? You correctly surmised that there will be little to be found in those safety deposit boxes now that the Age of Obama has arrived. [HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]I on the other hand offered you to name your own command[/HIGHLIGHT]..... but if you prefer to remain a Commissar of such "promise," then by all means, take it, for clearly I may have misjudged your military talents.....

My most esteemed Marshall and Hero of the People, I humbly accept your gracious offer. I was misguided in my zeal for the Party in presenting false evidence. You are shining proof that among all species in the collective, rare exemplary individuals rise up to lead us to our glorious Next Tuesday!

I shall discreetly assume the position nominated for me by Comrade Che Gourmet, that of Commissar of Motherland Security and Seafood Testing. My only hope is that I can fulfill my duties to keep the collective safe, and to face any future denunciations and show trials with the bravery and political clarity which you so nobly demonstrate.

Commissar Theocritus, know that I hold you in the highest regard, and reflect your loyalty like one of Comrade Laika's tinfoil hats. You who have taught me so much, and who has unselfishly guided me to a higher level of enlightnement, will always command my respect and sincere fellowship. It is difficult to express my utter joy that your generous assignment can be filled by another more qualified than I.

I only live to serve,

M-T

Pupovich is being denounced once again? WTH?! Let's just denounce him in perpetuity,and call it a day


But,while I'm on the subject,I would like to denounce pneumonia. You suck,Pneumonia!!....... I'm hockin' my lungs up.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pupovich, dear Pupovich. Of course we'll have a show trial, and it will be great one. And I intend to appoint your defense attorney myself. F. Lee Bruno. He graduated first in his class from the Lillian Vernon School of Trailer Trash Decorating and the Sears School of Elegant Coiffure, and has a gold-plated curling iron.

Dear Commissar, I must politely decline this paltry offer of a defense. I have the world famous Sir Pup Esq., of the world renown firm of Pup, Pup, and Canine on retainer. However, I really do not expect to need such expertise to deal with this minor excursion of insanity. Be that as it may, I do appreciate your efforts to promote me further up the ladder, for as you know, with each Show Trial, I have gained promotion.

Oh Great a bunch of mutts, marking there territory by urinating in the court room, at least Bruno would have just spread his toys around, and made "squeaking sounds" Commissar Theocritus, my I suggest that you have animal control standing by, or at least the janitorial staff.

Commissar Theocritus, you would have been proud of Comrade Reiuxcat last night, he showed up on time with his Leather and combat garb. First door we went through, appeared to be a local low ranking town rethuglican, he said where are your badges, Reiuxcat said we don't need no stinking badges and proceeded to beat him with a wiffle ball bat, filled with lead sinkers I might add. We searched the house and confiscated, much contraband, Wallets, Jewelery, small home appliances. We left them for you the "Mark in to evidence"

In all a good night Commissar.

I must also report, we stopped at about 2:00 am at a 7/11 for refreshments, noticed water coming out of the toilet, then saw Chairman Meow coming out of the door, toilet paper trail following, "he had clogged the toilet". Obviously inebriated looking at us with one eye open, he said I know you "Guys" Staggered to the door turned and said.

I'm errrrrrrrr, who are you? Hey it's you... errr....Waffle house....Yeaaaa... then continued to stagger off across the parking lot. toilet paper still in tow.

Comrade_Tovarich wrote:

Cradle to Grave Marxist wrote:Yo G, is that a Ford Pinto Urban Assault Vehicle in the photo?

No wonder the anti-progressive hold-outs in the compound blew themselves up without any aggression from the progressive state safety officers that were attempting to save them from their selves.

Comrade Cradle to Grave Marxist,

A Ford Pinto? That's bad ass, emphasis on bad. But then I had a comrade with a jacked up AMC Gremlin with rear wheel fender cut-outs to fit slicks on. Playboy doorlocks and air freshener, natch.

Somewhere the song "Memories" is playing to the smell of burning rubber.

You forgot the mudflaps with chrome silhouettes of a girl.

Lenin 'n' Thingies wrote:Pupovich is being denounced once again? WTH?! Let's just denounce him in perpetuity,and call it a day


But,while I'm on the subject,I would like to denounce pneumonia. You suck,Pneumonia!!....... I'm hockin' my lungs up.

Dear Comrade Lenin 'n' Thingies,

I devoutly wish that you had not also been afflicted. I am just getting over a bout, though not remotely as bad as the one that put me in the hospital last January. Beside the obvious, it is exhausting and frustratingly slow to bounce back from. But please, take advice from a pro, cough and cough and cough as much as you can... drink ridiculous amounts of water and although it's exhausting, get up and move around as often as you feel you are able. If there is someone available to help you and you are not too sore, or like me, at risk of breaking a bone, if someone can thump you gently on the upper back (not too low... just over where your lungs are and not your spine... just a gentle thumping) for a minute or so several times a day, it will, surprisingly, help to loosen things up. I thought this was ridiculous the first time I had pneumonia before my bones were so weak, and a nurse practitioner showed Javier how to do this for me, but then a friend who has cystic fibrosis in her family - a disease where the lungs fill up uncontrollably with mucus - told me that people with CF often have to have this done to them several times a day and it is a useful therapy... who knew! Also, if you can tolerate a shower and the steam doesn't make it too difficult to breathe, a few drops of essential oils - menthol and eucalyptus - in the corner farthest from the shower head will vaporize and will help open up your chest to help it clear out that much faster - also a tip from a nurse. I know it's exhausting and painful to cough so much, but it's the best thing for you to bring up as much gunk as possible. And it will help you to feel less exhausted, as paradoxical as that sounds, because the clearer your lungs are, the easier it is for you to oxygenate your blood.

I'm so sorry you're sick. I've just finished my antibiotics and although I'm done with the bug, I'm still coughing with a couple fractured ribs, and I have to push myself to not sleep constantly, though I'm still resting a lot. After you're over it and out in the world again, if you're in a place where it is already winter, like I am, make sure you cover your face with a scarf when you go out because the cold air is going to be really bad for your chest for a while, despite the fact that it is still good to go out in the fresh air... it just needs to be warmed up a bit before you breathe it in.

Sorry for the info dump. It's just that once you've had it, pneumonia is easy to get again if you're not careful, and you'll be especially susceptible this winter to not just pneumonia but to any upper respiratory bug, and if you get a cold or flu, it'll be easier to get an opportunistic bacterial respiratory infection. I hope you feel better soon and that you're not too sore from coughing. I know how uncomfortable it can feel.

So... I concur... forget Pupovich... he will always be getting up to some trouble and we will always forgive him because he's OUR Pup.. Instead, denounce pneumonia... and Comrade L'n'T - by all means, keep purging it as well...

Be well
SMO

Reiuxcat wrote:Marshall Pupovich,

Thank you for shrinking my pictures. I will see that all is posted properly in the future.

Pssst. Could you help me with my hemorrhoids?

You are most welcome, I only wish everyone would remember how these pictures affect the Cube. Actually, I should have shrunk them more, or there was something I missed, for I still am unable to view both sidebars, but at least I don't have to keep scrolling back and forth to read the posts.

As for the hemorrhoids...perhaps Che Gourmet can do something with them?

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:My most esteemed Marshall and Hero of the People, I humbly accept your gracious offer. I was misguided in my zeal for the Party in presenting false evidence. You are shining proof that among all species in the collective, rare exemplary individuals rise up to lead us to our glorious Next Tuesday!

If that is your wish, my congratulations. However, Commissar denotes a political position, that while it may still have some say over the military, is still a political appointment. Would you not prefer to remain in the uniform services? I was thinking you might take command of your own army?

Dear Pup...

To avoid widening things to an awkward degree, pictures should be no more than 550 pixels wide if they are to be referenced as an image residing on a server other than the Cube's.... If you wish to upload pictures to the cube server, they must be less than 520 pixels wide and no more than 55KB... I cannot recall, off the top of my melon, the height limit for uploads.

Best
SMO

Lenin 'n' Thingies wrote:Pupovich is being denounced once again? WTH?! Let's just denounce him in perpetuity,and call it a day

Precisely Comrade LNT, as the leecherous Commissar Theocritus himself pointed out, to try and place me on Show Trial is not unlike placing me on my back and rubbing my tummy! Grant it, I have enjoyed my previous trials immensely and they have been most profitable. But to be placed on trial again so soon is so.. so... passe. And there are so many more comrades here not as fortunate as I have been,


Speaking of appreciation....Someone sent me a wonderlul clip the other day of some dog heros welcoming home their hero. Check this out, it is wonderful!

"My Dogs greeting me after returning from 14 months in Iraq".

Sister Massively Opiated wrote:Dear Pup...

To avoid widening things to an awkward degree, pictures should be no more than 550 pixels wide if they are to be referenced as an image residing on a server other than the Cube's.... If you wish to upload pictures to the cube server, they must be less than 520 pixels wide and no more than 55KB... I cannot recall, off the top of my melon, the height limit for uploads.

Best
SMO

Speaking of which, do you know how to do the image sizing code in BB? I have tried and failed, so I have to go to html code to do this.

Reiuxcat wrote:Could you help me with my hemorrhoids?

I would watch for the claws, I would watch for the claws.

Pupovich, regarding your defense. A new rule that was made while you were otherwise occupied, no doubt teaching bird to to talent shitting, is that counsel is appointed <i>for</i> you. In fact I made that rule myself because I figured Bruno in Perry Mason drag beats Bruno in Carmen Miranda dress any day.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:
You are most welcome, I only wish everyone would remember how these pictures affect the Cube. Actually, I should have shrunk them more, or there was something I missed, for I still am unable to view both sidebars, but at least I don't have to keep scrolling back and forth to read the posts.

Marshal Pupovich, sir.

If I may, I must ask you what kind of monitor you have and what resolution you have it set? You see, I now have a 19" flat screen (thank you Red Star for the night time excursion last night!) and it is set at 1280 x 1024 and I had no such issues as you report with the pics at the original size.

I was able to recreate your complaint on my new screen by setting it at 1024 x 768. I am wondering if you have if your technical attachment has improperly set your monitor or if you are just f'n blind as hell and have your monitor set at KING SIZE LETTERS.


Either way, I will keep in mind the handicaps of the other members in the collective and adjust my pictures. The good of the collective outweighs the good of the individual.

Red Star wrote:I must also report, we stopped at about 2:00 am at a 7/11 for refreshments, noticed water coming out of the toilet, then saw Chairman Meow coming out of the door, toilet paper trail following, "he had clogged the toilet". Obviously inebriated looking at us with one eye open, he said I know you "Guys" Staggered to the door turned and said.

I'm errrrrrrrr, who are you? Hey it's you... errr....Waffle house....Yeaaaa... then continued to stagger off across the parking lot. toilet paper still in tow.

I have further investigated this horrid incident of my esteemed General Tongue. The below pictures do not lie. (And I incriminate myself by reporting this, as it was my suggestion that the general could take training from these creatures.) It appears the General had been kidnapped and drugged. It is evident the canines and dolphins are responsible. God knows what they did to him in the restroom. (I have suggested to the general before not to be tapping the feet of those in the neighboring stall, even accidentally. Oh bugger!)

I am truly grateful the good general was not permanently harmed.

I beg the mercy of the collective.

He he, the potato vodka has been particularly good this evening.

I have only now discovered I was logged out of the web site. It is evident to me someone here has been trying to silence me. The question is why?

I will find out, and let the guilty party beware!

Commissar Theocritus wrote:And, Dr. Strangelove, with a soubriqut like yours, isn't it living in a glass house to talk about Bruno as a fairy?

Now there have been times at the Rancho de Rio Grande that seeing our Many Titted Empress go south toward the Rio Grande I thought that I was seeing a ferry.

Or was it Charon? Or Cerberus?

Anyone who makes a kind-and-caring-and-compassionate pun will be in the dock with Pupovich.

Ah, most compassionate Comrade Vlad, but I never made such a pun. I merely asked if that was your intent. So, was that an admission to throwing stones in the Glass House of The Party^TM? We might have to add an extra seat for you next to Pupovich at the show trial. This might be an historical first, where someone is the judge, jury, executioner, and defendant!

So what is the issue with my sobriquet? "Strangelove" leaves a lot of room to the imagination for various options and interpretations, a truly progressive moniker. However, if I really wanted to be obvious, I would have made the same name change as Comrade Montgomery. To further illustrate the meaning behind my name, I have prepared this short video presentation made with some progressive friends of mine:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:...and so could not take part in the pile-on.

No comment.

Reiuxcat wrote:Marshall Pupovich, Pssst. Could you help me with my hemorrhoids?

Once again, I'm going to have to nominate Betty for this job.

WHY?!?

Why is it always me? I don't deserve this kind of treatment!

And I reject the nomination.

Why?! Well, because:

Dearest Sister,

I would like to submit an entry to your contest, and here it is:

The only acceptable way for you to die, and I believe I speak for all of the inner-circle stalwart Party elites (of which I am perhaps less equal than others), is for us at The People's Cube, at least those of us who actually matter, to love you to death. I realize that this is probably the slowest and most painful way for you to go; however, the most cruel and unusual punishments are reserved for only the very best, of which you most definitely are, my dear. I hope you find my suggestion to be the winning entry, as I highly covet your personal collection of media. Could you also perhaps throw in some lasagna (please hold the fish)?

With my sincerest affection,
Your Doktor

"...or reach inside a cow..."

Obviously, Betty is the one for the dirty job.

Cradle to Grave Marxist wrote:"...or reach inside a cow..."

Obviously, Betty is the one for the dirty job.

Yes, I nominate Betty to the expanded position of "Premier of Dirty Jobs and Cloning." All in favor say "Da!"

Are Betty's arms long enough?

--
ZB

Sister Massively Opiated wrote:NB - as originator of this brilliiant course of action, I am sorry to have to disqualify Grüppenfürer Radnoskovic from participation in this contest.

Yo SIS!

I think we should try to drop Radnoshtik onto you from some tall-tall building, or balloon. You could have an aluminum anti-space-lab-umbrella or such with a red bulls-eye.





SMO, I am greatly saddened with this turn of your health, and even the joking of an assisted termination makes me very sad. Even more sad (SAD-der AND SAD-dest) than when you post the horrifying picture of of the young woman being buried alive in preparation for Islamic stonning under Sharia mis-justice. The Cube would not be the same without you.

I am new here--lurked since the great Limbaugh caused server over-load--and I know ONE important thing about The Cube:

1. SMO is the only one to really read what the trolls post. You do that in an effort to really try to communicate, rather than flame like the rest of us.
   
2. (You really didn't think that I could stop after ONE important thing?) You are the only one that out writes Theo: word, words, words. My Dear Sister, how you can write!
   
3. May God bless your dear soul, as you have (AND WILL CONTINUE TO) bless us with your wit, insight, compasion, and love.
   
4. STATUS OF THE BOTTLENOSE DOLPHIN, TURSIOPS TRUNCATUS, WITH SPECIAL REFERENCE TO CANADA: You, SMO, are one rare mammal. Perhaps Algore can bring some warmer weather for the Canadian Dolphin.
   
5. Dolphins playing on the bow of the submarine: I used to spend hours watching the dolphin play off of the bow of my submarines when I was in the Navy. Is boring, but, hey, whachyouspec from a guy that was at/under sea for over 12 years of 22 year Naval service?
   
6. I am Qualified in Submarines and proudly wear Silver Dolphins in my chest. By the power of Nuptunus Rex and witnessed by Davy Jones, I will make you a Submariner, too!!!

Know All Ye, by These, Presents:
and to all LANDLUBBERS, SEA LAWYERS, SALTS, SWABS, SQUARE-KNOTS ADMIRALS, GOLD BRICKERS, SKIMMERS, SURFACE-PUKES,
AND OTHER SCAVENGERS OF THE SEVEN SEAS

Greetings:

BE IT KNOWN THAT

Sister Massively Opiated

Was made an Honorary Submariner
And, therefore, For The Greater Good, is entitled by Neptune's Laws of the Sea
to all the rights and privileges of a

Dolphin Wearing, Underwater Cussing, Long-and-Black-and-Never-Come-Back,
Deep Diving Submariner.

DISOBEY THIS ORDER UNDER PENALTY OF OUR ROYAL DISPLEASURE

DAVY JONES NEPTUNUS REX
His Majesty's Scribe Ruler of the Deep



SMO, I pin my Dolphins on you with pride <br>You may now enter The Submarine Page Just don't sing the "Submarines Once" song outside in the public, the Skimmers are easily offended.

Your Comrade in the Raging Deep of Life,
Pat
Comrade Pul

Zampolit Blokhayev wrote:Are Betty's arms long enough?

--
ZB

Well, there's only one way to find out.



Anyway, Betty already has some experience with cows:

Marshal Pupovich wrote:To my "comrades" who have been allegedly finding all of these items in my dacha and car, may I suggest that you need some refresher courses in the KMRC? For how else can one explain how you all missed this little item in my closet?

Yo Pup!

MADE IN THE USA!?! NOT IN THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA?!?

You do walk a fine treasonous line.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:
Speaking of appreciation....Someone sent me a wonderlul clip the other day of some dog heros welcoming home their hero. Check this out, it is wonderful!

"My Dogs greeting me after returning from 14 months in Iraq".

Great Leaping Border Collies! That was a great vid. I almost had to choke back a tear.

Dr. Strangelove wrote:
Anyway, Betty already has some experience with cows:

[FLASH VIDEO from the Comrade Kerry WAR ATROCITY COLLECTION of GHENGIS KHAN]

From the Comrade Kerry film, I'd say that Betty has a problem identifying the correct end of the cow to poke.

I'm going to kill myself....

I suggest the nomination be passed on to... that one person... who failed the party.

Because I'm too busy doing nothing... I mean, umm... important party business that can't be interrupted!

Premier Betty wrote:I'm going to kill myself....

I suggest the nomination be passed on to... that one person... who failed the party.

Because I'm too busy doing nothing... I mean, umm... important party business that can't be interrupted!

*grabs a bucket of hot popcorn and pulls up a lawn chair*

--

[begins clawing at door]

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I DON'T WANNA!!!

HEEEEEEEELLLPP!!!! OH MERCIFUL STALIN HELP ME!!!

I'm... I'm... well... I am... just... um...

WTF?!? I've seen some hunting games but I've never seen a first person shooter killing penned cattle game... Why?

I was going to post that I am greatly taken aback by some of the kind responses, although I am horrified by the notion that I would hurt a cat. In fact, only last year I had to denounce Pupovich for threatening my cat. He secretly refers to them as "Cat Beasts"... didja know that?

I do not know, quite yet, how to respond to the suggestions I've received... nor do I know what to say about the cow shooting clip... I am.... without words, believe it or not...

Theo... you wanna take a crack at this one?... I'm gobsmacked, but then, I was just thinking I forgot to eat today so I'm going to go and have a piece of toast and go to sleep...

Maybe some appropriate response to all this will come to me in the morning... though I must protest regarding the words, words, words... I believe Theo and I are, in fact, neck and neck, as we make a sort of game of it... Sometimes we even write very long posts full of bad puns based on references to quantum mechanics... But I won't bohr you with them, lest someone suggest I walk the planck... for some reason, quantum mechanics lends itself well to the task... although it remains uncertain why...

Ooop... Toast is burning...
SMO

Premier Betty wrote:[begins clawing at door]

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I DON'T WANNA!!!

HEEEEEEEELLLPP!!!! OH MERCIFUL STALIN HELP ME!!!

Out you go... now... off you go home before you get into more trouble...

FREEEEEDOM!!!!!!

SMO wrote: I've seen some hunting games but I've never seen a first person shooter killing penned cattle game... Why?

Bet you've never seen this on either.

Looks zackly like my Mom... did you see the Turducken videos?

I wan a Turducken.


madnes

Madness?

Or
<br>Madness?

Madnes is watching a meth minute for internet people, looking for Betty, and getting turtle boy at the end

Meth Minute

Sister Massively Opiated wrote:Sometimes we even write very long posts full of bad puns based on references to quantum mechanics... But I won't bohr you with them, lest someone suggest I walk the planck... for some reason, quantum mechanics lends itself well to the task... although it remains uncertain why...
SMO

Yes, my dear, yet all such things are relative, and I must admit that many a feynman has studied quantum mechanics, including yours truly... And studying QM under confinement, even in a box-like room of merely a few qbits in L/H/W, on as faraday as this can lead to an excited state... I hope my random words on such a delightful subject have not perturbed anyone or disrupted the equilibrium here but will hopefully lead to a grand unification among you, my comrades, no strings attached... Now I must stop before I become further entangled in this topic or go beyond the boundaries of reason and get back to hawking* a portable container for threaded fasteners that I developed and call The Botlzmann.

*Note: I originally had "hawking" in this montage but deleted it, got distracted, and then forgot to put it back in. Thank you, Comrade Vlad, for the reminder.

The sad thing is that I know what most of that stuff is.

Ah, yes, Betty, that is sad. Between games, school, hawking up answers for professors, you have no life, do you?

And I'm still somewhat perplexed at Comrade Cat's spurning of the inspector of safety-deposit boxes and the very short-sighted suggestion that in the administration of his O'liness there would be nothing in them.

Well, my short-sighted little comrades, get there first.

I apologize for my absence; it is not dereliction of duty but the Peoples' DSL at my house has been no faster than a one-tape Turing machine assembled by union members drunk on the really bad Putinka vodka.

Dr. Strangelove wrote:"Strangelove" leaves a lot of room to the imagination for various options and interpretations, a truly progressive moniker. However, if I really wanted to be obvious, I would have made the same name change as Comrade Montgomery.

I'd forgotten Mr. Sissyfag, and don't you know that took some doing. We know he is a true progressive from the utter lack of humor. A true progressive makes jokes about AmeriKKKa ruining the world and what an idiot the Bu$hitler is and that's all true. But it is not in fact funny.

Rage, comrades, remember the rage. When you find someone who is always pissed off, always entitled, and utterly without humor, you have a true progressive. And to make a true progressive make sure people are always pissed off, entitled, and kill the jokes.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Reiuxcat wrote:Marshall Pupovich,

Thank you for shrinking my pictures. I will see that all is posted properly in the future.

Pssst. Could you help me with my hemorrhoids?

You are most welcome, I only wish everyone would remember how these pictures affect the Cube. Actually, I should have shrunk them more, or there was something I missed, for I still am unable to view both sidebars, but at least I don't have to keep scrolling back and forth to read the posts.

As for the hemorrhoids[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]...perhaps Che Gourmet can do something with them?

[/HIGHLIGHT]

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffffff]Ha!Ha! Good one Pup~ but I don't do hemorrhoids because I'm a perfect asshole, got it?LOL[/HIGHLIGHT]

Che, I know that you strive for perfection in everything but the Post of Perfect Progressive Proctological Pile Asshole is shared by Al Franken and Michael Moore.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I'd forgotten Mr. Sissyfag, and don't you know that took some doing. We know he is a true progressive from the utter lack of humor.

Yes, but progressives can still be very funny, even if unintentional. Comrade Luke showed his true progressiveness later by denouncing himself. From The Current Truth^TM of The People's Encyclopedia^TM:
<br>

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pupovich, regarding your defense. A new rule that was made while you were otherwise occupied, no doubt teaching bird to to talent shitting, is that counsel is appointed <i>for</i> you. In fact I made that rule myself because I figured Bruno in Perry Mason drag beats Bruno in Carmen Miranda dress any day.

Dear dear Commissar, you simply do not see do you? Your attempt to switch the heat from you and your sponsorship of non-person R does not pass the smell test. Even if I were to accept your premise, you forget that I am now Marshal, no longer under the same rules as a political commissar. Be careful Commissar before I say, order one of my armies to wander down your way on one of their live fire training exercises.

Anonymous wrote:Marshal Pupovich, sir.

If I may, I must ask you what kind of monitor you have and what resolution you have it set? You see, I now have a 19" flat screen (thank you Red Star for the night time excursion last night!) and it is set at 1280 x 1024 and I had no such issues as you report with the pics at the original size.

I was able to recreate your complaint on my new screen by setting it at 1024 x 768. I am wondering if you have if your technical attachment has improperly set your monitor or if you are just f'n blind as hell and have your monitor set at KING SIZE LETTERS.


Either way, I will keep in mind the handicaps of the other members in the collective and adjust my pictures. The good of the collective outweighs the good of the individual.

Comrade, I am at a lower resolution, and for that matter, can also adjust things so that I can see things smaller. But I already wear glasses, and to set things small enough to do as you ask makes it very hard for me to read. Besides, the Cube has set the allowed size, and the Cube is never in error.

Cradle to Grave Marxist wrote:Yo Pup!

MADE IN THE USA!?! NOT IN THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA?!?

You do walk a fine treasonous line.

Comrade Cradle to Grave Marxist, has no one eyes? Has no one ears? Has no one a brain? Has any of these comrades considered that a Marshal of such fame and renown such as myself would not have many trophy's laying about? Evidence collected during my many investigations? The real question should be why don't these comrades have trophies?

But Comrade, I am relieved to see your fine background as a submariner, and I am sure I can come to count on you for any further work that may be needed For the Party. Perhaps, no.... I am sure you don't have more of them Dolphin's around you could give a humble Marshal eh?

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Besides, the Cube has set the allowed size, and the Cube is never in error.

A thousand pardons I beg of you Comrade Marshall. A lowly neophyte am I.


I will grovel repeatedly as soon as I am released from the rack and my feet touch the floor.

Sister Massively Opiated wrote:Sometimes we even write very long posts full of bad puns based on references to quantum mechanics... But I won't bohr you with them, lest someone suggest I walk the planck... for some reason, quantum mechanics lends itself well to the task... although it remains uncertain why...

But don't you find that the more certain you know it is a pun, the less certain you are whether it is funny?