Comrades, an independent organization named Organizing For America has released a photo of volunteers writing messages on the wall under the banner “I Support the President because…”

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Reasons written include:

• “I am ready for CHANGE!”
  
• “Because he kept his promises”
  
• “He needs time to complete cleaning up the 8 years of destruction to the U.S. …”
  
• “Because President Obama fights for me!”
  
• “Because he is the way [up arrow]“
  
• “Because he LOVES all and cares for the poor!”
  
• “I support him because he is our hope for the future”
  
• “He needs an opportunity to finish the fine job he has begun!!”
  
• “He is Black & White together, representing the healing that America desperately requires & God has his back!”

We must join in this effort! I'm sure there are TRILLIONS of reasons why we should support Dear Leader aside from the practical ones such as you will be executed if you do not. I will get the ball rolling for you but I expect FULL PARTICIPATION in this endeavor - this is so important you are hereby given permission to stop shovelling temporarily so that you may devote your FULL ATTENTION to this!

I support the President BECAUSE....

• Kim Jong Il is gone and Obama is the only true leader left!
  
• He has TRILLIONS of things left to accomplish for us!
  
• Amerikka is STILL a mean country, we need MORE FREE STUFF!
  
• I am ready to be CHANGED! Somebody CHANGE ME!
  
• He is the only ONE able to HEEL Amerikka!
  
• He needs more time cleaning up the 236 years of destruction that is the US!
  
• He hates and will destroy the rich greedy bankers big business The ONE PERCENT!
  
• I'm still waiting for my GAS and my mortgage to be paid for!
  
• I trust no one else to discern my right to free cheese in the Commerce Clause!
  
• He OWES me and SO DO YOU!
  
• Labor force participation is down to 63% - that's 63% TOO HIGH!
  
• He's a d*ck and I am his supporter.
  
• More COWBELL, DAMMIT!!!!

Comrades, the Party eagerly awaits your voluntary contributions or else you should eagerly await a midnight knock on the door if none are forthcoming.

Just a reminder, no cell phone usage is permitted as we are still mourning Kim Jong Il.

Karl Rove says he can channel Axelrod's thoughts in a tongue in check commentary entitled "Channeling David Axelrod"
For example: "It'd be nice if President Obama had a record to defend. But he doesn't , and I've gotten used to it."

I support the Obamessiah for all the same reasons that Bush is Enemy of the People

I support your president Obama because he's not my president... er, Prime Minister... you know what I mean.

I support the President because Jockey doesn't make a strap small enough and somebody's gotta do it!

ROCK, be sure to wash your hands before eating. You don't know where that little thing has been...

I support Dear Leader because his words and actions have led to more guns in the hands of private citizens than any other president.

I support Obama because he promised shovel-ready jobs and I have a shovel that's always ready.

I support Obama because he gives me free Obama money that he gets from his stash.

I support Obama because he never sweats, and he looks really hot in swim trunks.

I support Obama because his wife is a fashion icon with gorgeous arms and because he has cute kids.

I support Obama because he's a loving pet owner who doesn't put Bo in a crate that he straps down to the top of Air Force One when he goes to Hawaii.

I support Obama because in all the photos I see of him in the Oval Office, he looks very relaxed, kicking back, feet on the desk and all that. That can only mean that he's very comfortable as the President, and if he's comfortable, then he's a good fit for the position, and if he's a good fit, then he should stay in that position. I certainly can't imagine Romney or Santorum or Newt doing something like that--clearly a sign that none of them are a good fit for the position of President, so we should just keep Obama there.

Finally, I support Obama because he makes it rain candy and men and chocolate vodka cordials. Or at least that's what I keep asking him to do, and I think he deserves to stay in office so he'll have the chance to do it.

I posted a link to this thread on Facebook, and it sparked a spontaneous massive enthusiasm among the toiling workers and peasants:

I support the President because...

"I don't wanna go back to work."
"There was free donuts in the lobby."
"He watches American Idol too."
"Everyone else is a racist"
"My union boss told me I had to or I would have to pay for my private health insurance & pension."
"I got a lobotomy at age 18."
"I want to keep getting free stuff from the government."
"He says it's the one-percent who are keeping me down."
"My social studies teacher said all Republicans are evil or stupid."
"Because he too believes compromise is only meant to apply to "They the people""
"Because we know better than you do"
"Because he is gonna give those Christians what they deserve"
"Because I am a pedophile working for the TSA"
"Allah Akbar"

I support the president's reelection because there are still tyrants dictators world leaders he hasn't bowed to yet.

I support him because with him around 'I don't have to pay my morgage and I don't have to pay for gas...'

I Support the President Because....

He hasn't Downgraded the country enough.

Comrade Šterpin wrote:I Support the President Because....

He hasn't Downgraded the country enough.

He hasn't degraded the country enough yet either. And he's not letting himself be controlled by those uppity Juice . . . uh I mean Joooos . . . er, I mean, . . . well, you know . . .

I support the Obama because.....
He is the ONE we've been waiting for.
I am building my nuclear program for peaceful purposes....
Michelle has nice arms and not a flabby caboose.
Only he can channel the spirit of the most holy telepromter.

I support His Excellency and General Secretary, President B. Hussain Obama because:

- He still has more to do towards accomplishing our goal of the total destruction of the U.S. economy.
- I want a Soviet Amerika and so does he!
- American society may be sick, but his jack booted thugs are most certainly the cure!
- Of Three words: Free Government Money!
- Class warfare is fun!!!
- He needs more time to have Glen Beck arrested for counter-revolutionary "hate speech".
- I want Fox News shutdown and all employed by it neutralized!
- If anyone DESERVED to receive a Nobel Peace Prize, it was His Excellency, B Hussain Obama!

I support Obama because he's just like me in so many ways, so he understands my pain and problems and all the stuff that bothers me.

We both hate working.

We both like to prop our big booted feet on fine antique furniture.

We both have skinny butts.

Neither one of us likes to be criticized--in fact, many of you comrades here have first hand experience with the consequences of criticizing me!

We both like to blame Bush for everything.

We both enjoy spending other people's money.

We both like wearing mom pants, riding girls' bikes, and ruffled valances.

Neither of us has testicles.

I think these are all really good reasons for supporting Obama. Besides, I'd be racist if I didn't.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:I support Obama because...

Neither of us has testicles.

AHA!!! NOW I understand why I couldn't find those lil' boogers to support - I thought they were just waaaaay SMALL!

Umm, never mind on the support thing, then.

Tovarichi? Know anybody who'd be interested in a 55-gal drum of hand sanitizer?

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:I support Obama because...

Neither of us has testicles.

AHA!!! NOW I understand why I couldn't find those lil' boogers to support - I thought they were just waaaaay SMALL!

Umm, never mind on the support thing, then.

Tovarichi? Know anybody who'd be interested in a 55-gal drum of hand sanitizer?

Can the alcohol be distilled out of it? It is time to mixup a new batch of The Party™ Approved Margaritas.

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ZB