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IL. Leads The Way To The Progressive World of Next Tuesday

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Comrades/ettes:

I am overwhelmed with joy to report to you that here in IL. our progressive comrades, the Democrats, have prevailed with one of the LARGEST TAX INCREASES in the history of the state! Forget about all that 'corruption' hate speech and false propaganda that you hear about this state. We are the harbinger of the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™ ( watch out Detroit! We're takin' you Dowwwwn! )

Comrades, we all LOVE to pay taxes ( except Timmy-boy Geithner and Chuckles Rangel ). It is our birthright; our patriotic duty; it's what defines our moral superiority. And in states where taxes are higher, that means the denizens are more morally superior ( or incredibly stoopid for staying there ). Paying more/higher taxes=higher moral superiority/more patriotic/a better person than you.

I am proud of governor Mein Quinn for taking the moral high ground in raising income taxes 66%, and corporate taxes up to 9.5%. Greedy capitalists should be forced, er... asked to pay more because they earn more than the poor, dishelved homeless bums, beggars,filthy panhandlers, citizens do, and the public sector unions need someone to pay for their hard-earned platinum pensions and unrealistic wages.

They say that "payback is a bitch", but when the "payback" ( or kickback for reelecting progressive politicians ) comes as a necessary means of ensuring that public servants are plenty and available to take care of those suffering from this horrible recession, that never ends.

Our brilliant Jan Shakowski ( D-Idiot ) bloviated opined today that we need to pay higher taxes because the public sector is in more demand than ever to take care of the needs of those suffering without jobs during this dire recession ( your friendly servants at the DMV need a pay raise and a little extra for their pensions, thank you very much ).

Taxes are the lifeblood of the Progressive World of Next Tuesday. Spending cuts, cutbacks, caps and other illusionary devices meant to give psychological comfort to an already abused electorate, are the cheap, semantic trickery that are only meant for those who don't understand the glorious purpose of K-Y Jelly.

Mein Quinn "promised" that this 66% ( from 3% to 5% ) tax increase will only hurt, last for 4 years. Then it will settle in at 4% after that. But Mein Quinn is only saying that because during this difficult time, he wants everyone to know that even he has a sense of humor.

Even though IL. may be down around the 48th position of states being "job-creators", the goal is to be at 50 without peer, but who needs jobs when you have a welfare system that works for the people by the people?

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Our house is already on the market for sale. We knew this was coming and we prepared early for it. The only challenge will be having to compete against all the NEW listings that will be coming on the market from all the other refugees who have had enough of this state and are fleeing outta here as fast as possible.

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Comrade Whinny, your Commissar Jan Shackupwithakowski is correct! Years ago when my greedy capitalist exploiter laid me off for being ill (I punched out my boss - this is now recognized as a disability thanks to the ADA) I was sitting home watching cartoons and wondering where my next bottle of vodka was coming from. I cannot tell you how many noble, selfless, dedicated public employees with huge pension benefits came by to ask how I was doing and how much they cared because there weren't any. Comrade, even now when I think of those dark, dark days, I ask myself "why the f*ck didn't YOU get a job where you can't fired for ANYTHING, even clobbering your boss" "where would I be now without the help of those kind caring public employees"? And I have to honestly say to myself "Not where I am now especially if that were $#%$#% ILLINOIS!"

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Opiate of the People wrote:Comrade Whinny, your Commissar Jan Shackupwithakowski is correct! Years ago when my greedy capitalist exploiter laid me off for being ill (I punched out my boss - this is now recognized as a disability thanks to the ADA) I was sitting home watching cartoons and wondering where my next bottle of vodka was coming from. I cannot tell you how many noble, selfless, dedicated public employees with huge pension benefits came by to ask how I was doing and how much they cared because there weren't any. Comrade, even now when I think of those dark, dark days, I ask myself "why the f*ck didn't YOU get a job where you can't fired for ANYTHING, even clobbering your boss" "where would I be now without the help of those kind caring public employees"? And I have to honestly say to myself "Not where I am now especially if that were $#%$#% ILLINOIS!"

Ahh, but Comrade Opiate, you know how violence is frowned upon. Punching out the hand that feeds you is... well... just intolerable for us peace-niks. You'd been better off doing something like what Robert Creamer, Jan's outstanding husband, did which was:

On March 11, 2004, Schakowsky's husband, lobbyist Robert Creamer, the executive director of the Illinois Public Action Fund, was indicted in federal court on 16 counts of bank fraud involving three alleged check-kiting schemes in the mid-1990s, leading several banks to experience shortfalls of at least $2.3 million. Creamer served his five-month incarceration at the Federal Correction Institute in Terre Haute, Indiana and was released on November 3, 2006.

Getting a 'slap on the wrist' is far better than losing your job. You'd been better off committing bank fraud than punching out your boss... at least here in IL. you would be!


 
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