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Introducing the Model 'P'

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Comrades,

It has just been announced ... the Model P ... the next great "Vehicle for the People". GM aka Government MotorsTM has just released the image and specifications for the Model P or "Pelowski".

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Straight from turn of the century technology, the "Pelowski" has state of the art features:

  • 25 MPG (better than yesterdays SUVs)
  • new 5 gallon tank, allowing you to fully use your state-issued gasoline ration card
  • top speed of 35 MPH ... nearly twice as fast as a horse
  • state of the art "electric" headlight (2nd one optional)
  • "B.Frank" hot air blower
  • optional "Mary Jo" floatation device under rear seat
  • "Tipsy Ted" anti-rollover devices standard on all deluxe models
  • the best value for your money you're told you can afford
  • any color you want, as long as it's NOT black (or a dark color like navy blue, etc)
  • lubricated by 100% naturally synthetic "Gore" Snake Oil - greenhouse gas free
  • Union Made - Party ApprovedTM

At only $25,000 you too can be one of the masses on the list for getting one of these powerful machines. Order now and get a free compact spare tire.

Financing guaranteed for those who cannot afford it.

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FINALLY, real automobile innovation! Since there's only one model, that means no more hassles of comparing features, options, warranties and price. I can't wait until I get approved for one in 5-7 years! I'll be the envy of same as all my comrades when I'm out driving it on those special odd numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted.

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Solidarity 9-6347 wrote: I can't wait until I get approved for one in 5-7 years!

Hey, how did you get to the front of the line, Comrade???? You must know somebody very important in the Party!

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Raznoehintsi Pewkov wrote: [*]any color you want, as long as it's NOT black (or a dark color like navy blue, etc)
Oh yes. In the USSR there were more colors than models. Even if you could get a car you could never get a black one. That was exclusively government color. This black P too, must be reserved for some important apparatchik.

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Where does the battery go?

Armstrong steering? I like that!

This car is everything I've come to expect after years of a refined and well conditioned government.

How much is the undercoating, paint sealant and fabric protectant package? It'd be a steal at anything under $45K!

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While the "Pelowski" has all of the turn-of-the-century state-of-the-art features, some of the last-century-model features have been purposefully omitted because they were deemed unnecessary or caused pollution.

Navigator wrote:Where does the battery go?

You don't need a battery with the "Pelowski" ... it has a very effective front crank to start the car. This way you get off your lazy rear and exercise ... because that's good for you and we know it.

Navigator wrote: How much is the undercoating, paint sealant and fabric protectant package? It'd be a steal at anything under $45K!

Remember the old addage comrade ... if you have to ask, you cannot afford*.


*FINANCING GUARANTEED FOR THOSE WHO CANNOT AFFORD IT.


 
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