In a statement released earlier this week, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the un-Islamic group ISIS, joined other extremely peaceful un-Muslims in calling for the destruction of the Pyramids and Great Sphinx at Giza, Egypt. The ancient monuments are said to represent the cultural history of intolerant infidels, and have no place in the tolerant Islamic world.

ISIS LEADER AL-BAGHDADI: ‘RELIGIOUS DUTY' TO DESTROY EGYPTIAN SPHINX, PYRAMIDS

This is just the latest effort by the group that has nothing to do with Islam to destroy anything and everything that has nothing to do with Islam. Once all non-islamic history is erased, what remains of our world will be evidence of the greatness of Islam and its contribution to human civilization. This makes the destruction of all competition a religious duty of all Muslims, even though this has nothing to do with Islam.

This objective by ISIS bears striking resemblance to a fictional civilization from the future that has nothing to do with apes. In a Hollywood film from 1968, starring Charlton Heston, there was a culture that sought to erase the history of mankind, replacing it with their own religion of Apism. Life imitates art, if not The Cube itself.

So it appears that the Islamic State (which is not Islamic) seeks to imitate and bring to life their own version of The Planet of the Apes (which was a perversion of peaceful beliefs practiced by millions of moderate apes).

The idea to destroy all competition is in itself Islam's greatest contribution to human civilization. It is also shared by all progressives (who have nothing to do with progress), who are grateful to the Religion of Peace for showing them the way to victory.

Wow. That (the fatwa) is such as stupid idea that I can't think of what to say.

Battlebot Potemkin wrote:Wow. That (the fatwa) is such as stupid idea that I can't think of what to say.

'Tis always better to keep one's mouth shut while the restless natives are decapitating statues, lest they find your comments offensive and turn their lust for striking at the neck on you. I love an ancient historic artifact as much as the next comrade, but not enough to risk my own neck to preserve theirs. I find it ironic that certain members of the bourgeoisie class value these iconic symbols of human civilization more highly than humans themselves.

Comrades, this whole argument is irrelevant and designed purely to cast dispersions on peaceloving peoples. Why don't we instead employ these same people to set up a new line of bumper stickers and merchandise, “War on Pharaoh”.

Whoah! ISIS' Facebook and Twitter pages are really going to take a beating if they ever manage to actually to pull this off.

Konservative_Punk wrote:

Battlebot Potemkin wrote:Wow. That (the fatwa) is such as stupid idea that I can't think of what to say.

'Tis always better to keep one's mouth shut while the restless natives are decapitating statues, lest they find your comments offensive and turn their lust for striking at the neck on you. I love an ancient historic artifact as much as the next comrade, but not enough to risk my own neck to preserve theirs. I find it ironic that certain members of the bourgeoisie class value these iconic symbols of human civilization more highly than humans themselves.

Sorry, I'm a bit of a misanthrope myself; and I value such pagan objects. But any idee fixe that can motivate the sheep to resist the jihad is a good thing. But, if the nutjobs win--as they seem to be doing right now--I can always grow my beard out, bang my head on the floor five times a day, and buy Lucy Liu.

The phone in the Oval Office rings.

President Obama answers: "Oval Office."

The caller says, "This is Egyptian President el Sisi. We urgently need military cooperation in our war against Islamic Extremists threatening our Sphinx, our Pyramids, modern Muslims, Christians, Jews, Bhuddists, Hindus, atheists and Western Civilization."

President Obama responds: "My caller ID doesn't show an Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood number, so your getting through must have been a switchboard error."

--KOOK

Comrade KOOK, you have outdone yourself. But then, you usually do.

RedDiaperette wrote:Comrade KOOK, you have outdone yourself. But then, you usually do.

You are too kind, Comrade Red Diaperette, proof of which lies in the fact that I just had to edit the image and text to clarify the "switchboard error" as the reason el Sisi's call "got through."
No doubt, even in jail, Morsi still has a cell number identified by the system for bypassing the switchboard.

--KOOK