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Joseph Kennedy XXVLVIII for Congress: campaign slogans

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The Paris Hilton of political dynasties, Joseph Kennedy XXVLVIII, runs for Congress. His campaign slogans:

1 - "Finally, a Kennedy Worth the Hype!"
2 - "I promise, no women in my administration will drown!"
3 - "I had a job before I was running for Congress!"
4 - "Looks aren't everything!"
5 - "I will not sleep with Mafia molls and get myself shot!"
6 - "If I screw Scarlett Johanssen, I won't have her murdered!"
7 - "I will never pimp my Congressional intern out to anyone!"
8 - "I will never, ever 'sandwich' a waitress!"
9 - "I am not running on my name!"

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The world needs more cosmopolitan capitalist leaders to guide the Russians.
The Chinese Assembly of about 300 who have $5 trillion in surplus capital and control the lives of 1/5 the earth's population might disagree. Better check with them first so they don't repeat what they did to Solyndra.

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I was under the impression from the Mainstream Media that Rep Bonnie Fwank's "Seat" was already promised to another "member". They have exchanged rings, no? So is this young Josef a "third leg" to this tawdry triangle, or is he "new meat' trying to "rise to the occaision" and slide into Fwank's seat? I'm disgusted by this element of politics. I find it distatasteful.

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I believe that you are, in fact, correct in these distasteful assumptions, Comrade Tovarichi: Bonnie Fwank's "seat" is indeed already spoken for, but - being a Kennedy - Young Joe might just find "things" greased up and ready to go for him in today's modern, complex political landscape of the future, especially if he can swim and doesn't look like he's been dead for 15 years.


 
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