Judd to Run as USSA's First Topless Senator

Dear Comrades,

Comrade Ashley Judd is set to run as Kentucky Oblast’s first topless People’s Senator in a great victory for the overturning of bourgeois morality and discrimination against prostitutes.

Comrade Ashley is known for her devotion to Progressive Socialism as well as her figure when she was younger. With her recent weight gain cutting short her acting career, Comrade Ashley is now devoting herself to the service of the Proletariat through what is sure to be her greatest role, as a People’s Senator.



Party officials have cleared her candidacy, and it is hopeful that her frequent movies roles in the nude will help citizens better relate to her than the reactionary Mitch McConnell, who has never appeared naked in public, much to the disappointment of the citizens of Kentucky. Judd is also an active member of the Screen Actors Guild, meaning that her numerous sales of her body for the gratification of the Masses have been covered by union collective bargaining.

The workers and peasants of Kentucky all know that Comrade Ashley is the best qualified person to deal with matters of state. Her high level of education and Party indoctrination means that she will certainly be a loyal Party representative in the People’s Senate, and she will be welcomes to many private gatherings of Party officials to share her opinions and make her presence known.

Support Comrade Ashley Judd for People’s Senator! Onward to Victory for Hollywood Prostitutes!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator
 

And with Frank Lousybird finally retiring from the Senate in 2014, we could have Geraldo as his replacement (but he will be running as a -- yecch --- Rethuglican.) We already have Al Franken (D-Horse's Ass). The People's Senate may one day be ALL CELEBRITIES ALL THE TIME!
 

I will admit that I am conflicted on the prospect of topless senators. This is a gray area for me and I could go either way depending on if Barney Frank is running or not.


 

Barney has several gray areas... and one of them occasionally sees sunlight!
 

 

Who hasn't gone topless once or twice?



 

Nomenklatura-climber

mitch_ashley.jpg
Please Comrade, not just before we go to bed. Some of us need to sleep.
 

But, I thought this would help... you know, the cold shower effect?

ThePeoplesComrade

Nomenklatura-climber

mitch_ashley.jpg
Please Comrade, not just before we go to bed. Some of us need to sleep.
 

You know, now that she has put on the pounds, there's more of her for her to hold...
 

What exactly are you implying, Comrade? More of Ashley?



 

 

 

I hate to break the news to Comrade Ashley Judd, but Comrade Barbara Boxer earned the title of "First Topless Senator" decades ago.


--KOOK