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Kash for Kulaks - trade that farm or business for OBAMABUCK$

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That Cash for Clunkers thing is working out so well for The One, we were asked to come up with a logical extension to help accelerate the well-planned evolution to a Socialist state. So here's to you, small businessmen of Amerikka! Get yours now, before your property is appropriated by the state!

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A few success stories to show you how exciting the KFK program can be!

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"With the generous OBAMABUCK$ we received for the software development firm we started five years ago, we walked down to Jiffi-Lobo for the group special! Now we are helping out on the collective farm and living large! All thanks to Kash for Kulaks and OBAMA, the Next Big Thing!

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After selling our family farm, we were able to buy this one-room cabin and enjoy the party life, beet wine and all that. And since little Billy enlisted in the Peoples Navy, he can send home his meager wages so we can purchase lottery tickets and more of those obnoxious cigarettes that Uncle Ivan enjoys so much. If only we could pay for accordion lessons for Bertie, she plays godawful bad. Fortunately that emergency brain surgery she needs was cancelled last week by the Obamacare Rationing Board, so it won't be a problem much longer. Thank you, Obama!

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I sold everything I owned that couldn't be replaced by Government issued stuff. My boat and property in Alaska are gone, and now I live in subsidized housing in a large housing development. Naturally I traded all my guns and ammo for ObamaBuck$, as well as my nicer clothing, and book collection.

Now I sit in my glorious People's Apartment(TM) watching People's TV(TM) and eating People's Soylent Snacks(TM) ALL DAY LONG! What a wonderful life the Progressive life is!

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What a glorious life you lead, comrade! I can smell those salty soylent snacks from here, yummy!

Please remember to share your remote equally with your domestic partner and any Young Obamaists in your happy home, to ensure a balanced reception of Laika's transmissions.

I can see Next Tuesday from here...

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Actually I am waiting on my Party Approved Life Partner(TM) we will be responsible for an allotment of children. Right now I am undergoing therapy to help understand how I was a bad person up until very recently, and how I must overcome the number of ways I was victimized, and also hurt other people at the same time. Once I pass my training, then I can take part in the communal raising of children. What a glorious life!

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General Mousey-Tongue wrote:
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That old Russian song comes to mind...

Mama had a squeeze box she played on her chest.
And when daddy came home (from the fields) he couldn't get no rest.

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Colonel 7.62 wrote:I sold everything I owned that couldn't be replaced by Government issued stuff. My boat and property in Alaska are gone, and now I live in subsidized housing in a large housing development. Naturally I traded all my guns and ammo for ObamaBuck$, as well as my nicer clothing, and book collection.

Now I sit in my glorious People's Apartment(TM) watching People's TV(TM) and eating People's Soylent Snacks(TM) ALL DAY LONG! What a wonderful life the Progressive life is!


Be careful with those Soylent SnacksTM, Comrade Colonel. They can be quite addictive but with somewhat negative dental consequences, as I am here to attest. Thank Obama for my new Obamacare Dental Plan (comes with pliers and instruction book.)

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I can't wait until the government begins the "cash for teeth" program.

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Sadly, comrade, the Cash for Teeth program was discontinued after revelations of rampant corruption. There was a furry rodent protagonist who was summarily placed on show trial and shot. Very sad.

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General Mousey-Tongue wrote:Sadly, comrade, the Cash for Teeth program was discontinued after revelations of rampant corruption. There was a furry rodent protagonist who was summarily placed on show trial and shot. Very sad.

The Tooth Fairy turns out to be a reactionary thoughtcriminal? I'm so disappointed, what's left for a hard-working progressive to believe in? Oh yes, unicorns, utopia, Obama, free national health care, etc, etc.

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(off)
In the words of Larry the Cable Guy,
(In a Hooters, gives the waitress tip money)
"(Waitress) Hey! This is fake money!"
"(Larry) Them are fake titties!"


 
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