Hi Underground & sleeping cells Komrades:

Yesterday, our Beloved Leader Hugo Chavez, stated in public Radio & TV address from Caracas to all the Bolibananian Republic of Venezuela (our sacred Fatherland) that underground fascists from the CIA, the YMCA, NBA, NASCAR, the International Boy Scouts and the Holy See, are poisoning him through a new form of cancer-producing ultra secret bio-technology. He hinted that Komrades Lula (Brazil), Cristina Fernandez (Argentina) and Lugo (Paraguay) may also been infested by drinking Imported American Coke or some local produced coca-leaves hot infusions.


Next in the list, according to our Beloved Leader, may be Evo Morales (Bolivia) (Who drinks himself a lot of coca-leaves infusions (not Coke) and smokes coca-cigars too) and Rafael Correa (Ecuador).

We, antifascist revolutionaries from the Bolibananian Republic of Venezuela, feel outrage about this evil conspiracy to kill those examples of Robin-Hood style Progressist Regimes in Latin America that fight Imperialism and poverty.

Only as an example, our Beloved Leader Hugo Chavez is committed to eradicate poverty, and He is making good word of his aim: at a rate of 19,300 people killed by street gangs in Venezuela in 2011 (so far, some days still left...), there will be at mid term no more poor people left alive to feed !!!

We warn you, American Fascists: We are developing a tropical mango-fruit flatulence-disseminating warhead to bomb your cities if you don't stop to attack our Beloved Leader bowels with your evil ultra secret cancer-inducing machine !!

Our Beloved Leader flatulence will be counter-attacked by more flatulence in the heart of your rich cities. You are warned!!! Keep your W.C. clean & operational !!

Long live our Beloved Leader. Hope he will soon reunite with his Korean Brother Kim Yong-Il (He was very Ill indeed). And very soon...

Best Regards.

With good luck he will be able to liberate over 20,000 from poverty by years end. A rate which is not equaled by any other country in the world.

General Confusion wrote:With good luck he will be able to liberate over 20,000 from poverty by years end. A rate which is not equaled by any other country in the world.

https://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_drug_related_deaths_in_the_US_each_year
I always believe the 1st web page a google search provides on any stat.

Commissar Chavez bears a striking resemblance to the New, Young, Healthful, Extremely-Well-Fed, Incredibly Intelligent, Super-Golfer (it's an inherited gift!), World-Wide Hailed Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un, unquestioned savior Leader of The Nation Leading The Planet Into The World Of Next Tuesday™!

Thus the Imperialist CIA-Invented Diagnosis of "Cancer" (whatever that Imperialist invention is - sounds more like an excuse to invade The Venezuelan Peoples' Workers' Paradise to us) being applied to Commissar Chavez must be nothing more than an Imperialist Plot To Seize The Riches Of South America™ !