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Let Us Forgive and Forget

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I just received this from my conservative alter-ego's Facebook page. I believe we are entering a period of perestroika.

Brave warriors fighting a just cause lose battles, regroup and fight on. Shooting our own valiant comrades serves no constructive purpose.

Republicans are still upset about Chris Christie's passionate embrace of Barack Obama in the final days of the 2012 election. Theories abound as to why Gov. Christie would find Pres. Obama so suddenly attractive. Many accuse the Governor of selfish opportunism.

Not wishing too quickly to condemn a fellow laborer in the struggle for America's heart and soul, I am open to alternative explanations.

Some suggest that President Obama possibly smelled like bacon which Governor Christie would have undoubtedly found irresistible. I find this a credible explanation and can no more condemn Gov. Christie for succumbing to the President's bacony deliciousness than Democrats could condemn Pres. Clinton for his uncontrollable, prolific forays into sexual promiscuity. Let's all hug and move forward.

christie-obama.jpg

...but I thought B. Hussein was a BaconHater?

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Obama had made himself clear ahead of time with this flag. It proves he's more than a mere mortal.

[img]/images/Obama_Flag_Pork.jpg[/img]

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All right! In pork we trust. Four more years of stimulus money!

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Please contact New Jersey labor negotiators. This weakness can easily be exploited during negotiations with muffin scented lapels, hot dog shaped shoes and hamburger tattoos.


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Um, O.K. B-b-b-but, um, I thought the forgive-and-forget thing was God's job. Right? I mean, first I thought it was Bush's fault and now I'm supposed to think it's mine! This is outrageous! Me? Forgive and forget? I don't think so! It most definitely is Bush's fault and you can't tell me any different! Ever! So there!

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Bush...its Bush's fault...Bush's Baked Bean's...baked beans have ham in them....ham comes from pork...pork makes the delightful meat candy called Bacon...pork is what politicians careers are made of.

Therefore: Obama is made entirely from bacon and bacon related products.


 
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