Been looking for love in all the wrong places? Well fret no more as you take a gander at our latest candidates as we present our OWS edition of some fine singles who are looking to hook up and this soon could be you also!!!!!!!

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First up meet Ted Tingly. Ted's a highly educated Transgendered Eskimo Lesbian Studies major who has had a little trouble finding a job and paying off his student loans. But don't let that debt stop you from giving him a call as he still has his Mom and Dad's credit card. Ted's looking for a Progressive babe who he can rub noses with.

Kissable lips aren't the only thing that makes Patty Priss a real catch. She's also into yoga and organic chicken farming. Patty is looking for man that knows how to fill out welfare forms and get freebie grants, could that be you????

Talk about a real looker. Matt Muffington can really turn a few heads. Matt's is a basement renovator who has been involved in a long term basement renovation project for the past 40 years. His work is so involved that he actually lives there when not out protesting. Matt's looking for a gal that can sneak in through his basement window without waking up his parents.

A whole lot of lovin is available with Wanda Wales. Wanda fancies herself also as a progressive superhero that is fighting the evils of capitalism every day. She's looking for a progressive male side kick that can support her weighty endeavors.

There you have it folks, start calling and start dating and soon you to can be a part of the OWS's cuddle puddle.

Speaking of puddles, before you meet your date for the evening, you might want to spiff up by treating yourself to an OWS bubble bath! Just sit in the nearest mud puddle and pass gas!

The great thing about an OWS bubble bath is you don't need those plastic bottles of bubble bath that look like your favorite cartoon characters and are bad for the planet (unless, of course, you buy the Captain Planet one and send his cap back to the manufacturer for a free carbon credit).

And you don't need those super-expensive extra fancy bath beads that your mom is always buying for herself. Doesn't she realize that every time she does, some corporation gets to ring up more profits that they won't even share with YOU?

Not to mention these products are full of harmful chemicals and stuff that pollute the water and, when commercial bubbles are released into the air and float around, eventually they pop releasing even more hazardous gases. This is something that should be offensive to everyone.

But when you take an OWS bubble bath, you can feel good about yourself knowing that you're raising awareness of how much you care not only about the planet, but those who inhabit it! When your fellow Occupiers see you sitting there making your own bubbles, they will shower you with happy "Up Twinkles" for being so considerate of everyone else!

And who knows? This might even get you more dates!

OWS is Darwin's dream come true.
So many he,she,its to expand the gene pool with.

Cassiopia Quickie
As you can see, Cassiopia Quickie is a peoples person. But if you want to hear her scream words of revolutionary ecstasy, you'll just have to get in line. Green tent - Row S.



Honesty Lane
If your looking for a really deep thinker that can strip away all the haze and quickly reach the korrekt bare bones decision on behalf of the kollective, Honesty's your gal. You could ride on this ladies coat tails far up in the party, if she had any.



And for the Comradettes:

Ziggy Papers
Comradettes, if you seek Nirvana, Ziggy knows the way. He is constantly coming up with new paths to enlightenment right in his dorm room. Unfortunately, having recently been unjustly detained by the kapitolist pigs, Ziggy's a little tied up right now, but you can woo him with your letters and cigarettes via the California Dept. of Corrections - LA County - Cellblock B9-11.
He'll be out soon & eager to continue his higher education, possibly with you!

OWS Boi would make a FABULOUS addition to the right person's life - he just has SOOOOO much to offer!

Remember, Obama said that people like these were one of the main reasons he ran for President.