Comrades! I can not tell you how overjoyed I am to be able to report back to the Collective at this time, even if on but a limited basis. As you with more equal security clearance know, I have been at the forefront of the most recent attack by the Bush-Cheney-Haliburton hurricane machine, a last desperate attempt to destroy the People's Utopia of New Orleans and Peoples State of Louisiana.

Comrades, it has been a desperate battle indeed. In fact, I remain without power at my dacha, and this is the first opportunity I have had to get on the internet since the attack began last Monday. I do not expect to be able to report to the Cube on a regular basis for at least several more days. I am currently reporting from my hidden Workers Opposition to Rethuglican Kapitalism (WORK) field unit. I am quite fortunate however in that I was able to sneak through the hurricane's very front lines once my power was attacked, to make it to my brother in laws house and his Peoples Generator that was able to provide the basic comforts that a Marshal deserves.

Power was restored at his dacha on Thursday, but alas, he has no internet. Comrades, as you can see below, I live in a most humble dacha, of the sort approved by Comrade Lenin, not like those of certain unnamed Comrades here who have allowed creature comforts to distract from their devotion to the people. My dacha is the smaller hovel, and the other is the dacha that my friend/landlord/my “adopted” kiddo's mom lives in.

My "luxury" dacha and view between dachas:



My power line under attack (center), and the tree that barely missed my dacha (left)!

Friend and Kiddo's house ruined... van at the end of house...


Yes, there is a blue Zil hidden beneath this on the left....


As you can see, we were hit very bad. Actually, I sustained but a little damage other than the huge tree on my power line and another tree that missed the house by about a foot. But her house was basically totaled with the tree on the roof that also partially crushed several rooms. Her Zil was also pretty much totaled, and is barely visible under the tree on the end. We are all at my brother in laws house now.

Comrades, every dark cloud has a silver lining as they say! Comrades, I have seen sights that I have not seen since the glory days of the Motherland! Oh, the long lines for food, water, ice, and gas! It does one's heart good to see the people being treated so equally! Even the traffic flow was made equal with those discriminatory traffic lights out. There were even offers of medical aide from many medical enclaves that normally cater only to the rich and insured. It is a vision of the sort of society we shall see once the Obama is elected and the World of Next Tuesday™ is fulfilled! Oh, and did I forget to mention the curfews and security elements patrolling the streets?

But Comrades, we must not lose sight of the horrors that this attack exposed. Have you any conception of what we did to the wonderful work done to reduce the carbon footprint to try and prevent this very sort of tragedy in the future? Comrades, everywhere you went, there were ghastly lines at gas stations for people to top off their dinosaur cars, SUV's, and Urban Assault Vehicles. Then they would compound their EnviroCrime™ by purchasing gas by the jug full to pour into their generators so they could buy some temporary comfort at the expense of destroying the polar bears and the rain forests! The atmosphere is filled with the noxious fumes belching from these “degenerate” generators! There were even lines to purchase these machines that can only destroy the gains made by Comrade Gore. It makes a comrades heart cry!

Well Comrades, that is my report from the front lines for now. I will of course strive to return to my regular strenuous duties here as soon as possible!

Courage! Hope!

Marshall, it is good to see you survived with your collective consciousness intact. I am relieved.

From a purely socialist standpoint, of course. Nothing personal, we are all subjects of the state. We have been shoveling along fine without you, of course, but your bark will assist us shout down our opponents.

I did send you emergency supplies - vodka, some of my finest cigars, and - um, a generator - did you receive them? The cigars were manufactured in the Peoples Republic of Catnip so I cannot vouch for the nature of tobbacco used. User discretion advised.

Now, let's get the Bush/Cheney/Halliburton cabal before they slink out of Washington with their ill-gotten gains!

Comrade General Cat. I must confess that I have even missed your banter of late. I have not received your most considerate emergency package as of this time. Clearly an investigation seems appropriate as that package could be put to good use indeed.

Pup, how can we help out?

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Comrade General Cat. I must confess that I have even missed your banter of late.

Desperate times indeed. Perhaps you hit your head on a falling tree limb.

As Comrade Brain-In-A-Jar thoughtfully asked, how can we help? We are, after all, a collective...

Komissar Blogunov wrote:

With what superior Soviet Era cloaking technology did you manage to keep your dacha hidden from the vigilant eyes of the Bush Hurricane Generator Center?

Er... given the pictures of my dacha I posted, it would be hard for me to say that our technology did protect me adequately from the Bush Hurricane Generator.... but clearly they failed to hit me, the highest profile target in the region, so I suppose I must give our passive defense technology some credit. Actually, I understand from my neighbor that I had no sooner left my dacha when this air strike fell. They told me I had left no more than 10 minutes before the attack. So you see, I did have some counterintelligence that warned me to leave. As you may have noticed by now, I have long been counter intelligence minded.[/justify]

Ivan Betinov wrote:Pup, how can we help out?

Subsidies, subsidies, subsidies.....

Failing that, non-tracable large denomination bills always come in handy in a time like this. I believe the Chariman has some experience in this.

Pupovich, it's good to hear from you and to know that at least the storm did no damage to your sense of humor. I've been worried, and so sorry about the kiddos' house! Guardian angels were looking out for you all.

Someday I'll tell you a funny story about Hurricane Frances, a power outage, and a small child with diarrhea--just think of those Family Circus cartoons on Sundays, that feature little Billy meandering around the house or neighborhood with the black dotted line trailing behind him to show his journey, and you'll get an idea of what happened.

I learned you can't see the dotted line in the dark.

Comrade Pupovich your story is heartwarming and touching. Rumour has it that another one is headed your way, but it is difficult to trust the conservative controlled media empire.

Here in the People's Democratic Party of Michigan, one party progressive rule has eliminated hurricanes completely. However we are fearful with the removal of the Lord Kwami that they may return any day now.

It's good to hear from you, Marshal Pupovich, and know that you survived this attack from the Bu$Hitler Hurricane Generator. I was concerned that the storm had blown you to Bu$Hitler's Gulag at Gitmo. If there's anything we can do for you, let us know.

Did you happen to see Premier Betty being blown about in the storm??

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:I learned you can't see the dotted line in the dark.

Yes, it has been said the dotted line in the dark is unseen, yet a path many follow.

Advanced reports from the front line indicate that the tree on my power line has been removed despite the best efforts of the Bush "Special Forces" left behind. I have some hope of being back in my headquarters tomorrow, hopefully with internet communication which is important. The transmissions from Laika have had a difficult time coming through clearly what with all the work on phone and power lines being done. It is hard to keep up with the Current Truth under such conditions as you can imagine, however I have hope to be properly indoctrinated soon.

I was hesitant to show the pictures of my dacha as I did not want to encourage any class envy. As you can see, I live in a modest, yet top of the line Soviet style dacha especially modified to fit in with your typical upper class neighborhood in south Louisiana. It has most of the luxuries one would expect for a person of my station... indoor plumbing, a modern kitchen complete with a can opener, paper towel rack, hot plate etc. The main thing is the rent is just right for a single canine comrade such as I.

I don't mean to sound like I am bragging about being more equal than others, but you know my dacha has been featured in Better Hovels and Gulags magazine? But oh the damage this storm did to my prize winning beet garden! Fortunately it did little damage to my mechanical beet milking machine.

Comrade Moose wrote:Comrade Pupovich your story is heartwarming and touching. Rumour has it that another one is headed your way, but it is difficult to trust the conservative controlled media empire.

Here in the People's Democratic Party of Michigan, one party progressive rule has eliminated hurricanes completely. However we are fearful with the removal of the Lord Kwami that they may return any day now.

Tanks for the kind words Comrade Moose. I do believe that I have proven to the Bush goons hurricane hit squad that I am too stong to be hit again.

But wait a minute.... is it really Bush behind these latest attacks??

McCain.... Hurricane.... McCain... Hurricane...

Coincidence? I think not!

Good to see you again Comrade Zarkof! I am not certain, but I did see a blur that could have been Primier Betty blow by. There was what sounded like a scream about some computer game and it being "unfair."

As you can see, I live in a modest, yet top of the line Soviet style dacha especially modified to fit in with your typical upper class neighborhood in south Louisiana.

Ah, a "stealth dacha." Clever choice for infiltration and agitation in the former Confederation to help construct the Obamanation.

Comrade Pupovich
Today I learned on Nancy Pelosi Radio that Hurricanes are caused by Global Warming, and that there is a capitalist conspiracy that goes by the dubious name Insurance Companies that know all about this.

Clearly, then, there is a link between these Insurance Companies, the Bushitler, McSame, and the Palinazi -- who as everyone knows are responsible for global warming.

Then it hit me:

Insurance
Kompany
Evil

This is compelling evidence indeed! This is not putting lipstick on a pig!!

I am confident the Lord Messiah knows all about this and has a detailed plan to save us.

Hey Marshal, we need to talk to you in the bunker. Are you able to get there?

To the bunker Pup....to the bunker.

Hillary wrote:To the bunker Pup....to the bunker.

My Empress! I thought you were not allowed into any bunkers anymore after your purging.

It wasn't a purge. It was political bulimia nervosa.
Anyhow, who let you out of the correctional institute for the criminally insane?
Rehabilitated, eh?

Ironically enough for this thread, O Empress Most Excellent, Pupovich is the one who keeps letting Vodkov get away, like the recurring villain in some '70's cop show. (He's also the one who was measuring you for your cut-out--and got promoted for it!)

Vodkov: I wouldn't be so hasty to erase The All Highest from existence if I were you:

"Might," he says?!?<br>

Ah yes, methinks the Scranton Scrapper, the Prince of Plagiarists, might be floating a balloon of sorts, wouldn't you say? And I don't mean the usual bag of hot air, which is to say himself.

Our Glorious Empress may return yet, in all Her Glory! And I will be the first to bask in her benevolence, because I remained e'er faithful to Her.

For all we know that not the Obamessiah (thanks, Rev. Jackson), but only Hillary has, shall we say, The Party Jewels necessary to take down the scourge that is La Palinazi.

Think about it, Vodkov. The cat fight to end all cat fights. Surely the very thought must turn you on?

I have always been faithful to the Empress. I just thought you had purged her. Yes you, Miss Pinkie! I somehow doubt the Empress is interested in playing second fiddle to a communy planner from Kenya. Not that they don't have wonderful communities there. I believe you are trying to convince her to grab the VP now and thus lose any chance of becoming Dictator in 2012. Why would you do something like that Pinkie? Why would you push the Empress into the oblivion of the Vice Presidency? Let me tell you why! That's because you work for the Dark Side! That's why!

Ohh and regarding the cat fight and it turning me on, I have some bad news. Unfortunately the Party had my balls temporarily removed. They might return them later they say. They told me they did it to protect the Party from my possible offspring. Why would they say something like that?

I see you misinterpreted my meaning, Vodkov. Biden said the Empress "might have been" a better pick for VP, but the truth is, she WOULD have been a better pick for the top of the ticket! She IS! She WILL BE!

If anyone's to be measured for a cardboard cutout when this is over, I'll wager Joe Biden will be first on the conveyor belt.

once biden is disposed of and Hillary becomes Veep, all we have to do is wait until Obama is elected and assassinate him. Hillary becomes president, everyone is happy. Either that or we could "persuade" Mcain to accept Hillary as his new Veep. That would save the assassination since Mcain will no doubt die of natural causes since he is so old.

Ohh and regarding the cat fight and it turning me on, I have some bad news. Unfortunately the Party had my balls temporarily removed.

What the hell is tha...DAMMIT, WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL THE MEDICAL DIRECTIVE TO STOP DROPPING THESE THINGS IN MY JAR?!!

Betinov....

Has anyone ever bombed you with Alka Seltzer?... Would you enjoy it if someone put Tang or KoolAid in your Jar?...

I'm not at all trying to be funny... I'm really absolutely just curious... It's been keeping my up nights...
SMO

When he visits the Karl Marx Treatment Center I like to tease him with pirana.

It's good to see your type again Marhal Pupovich(as in the typing on this forum). Hey General Mousey-Tounge, now you can get pass that shepard guarding the McCain/Palin bus.

Has anyone ever bombed you with Alka Seltzer?... Would you enjoy it if someone put Tang or KoolAid in your Jar?...

Only on special occaisions. On New Year's Eve I like to have the Alka Seltzer at midnight; the fizzy bubbles are quite festive. I haven't had Tang since they cancelled the Apollo Program. It is part of my protest against cutting NASA's budget (I haven't worn underwear since 1972; put a man on the moon again and I'll put on a pair of shorts).

Hillary wrote:To the bunker Pup....to the bunker.

Oh how nostalgic a fear that froze my souless inner being to see the Empress order me to the Bunker! It felt like the second coming!

Then as a side dish, to see the Commissarka and the previously Criminally Insane Commissar Vodkov denouncing the other....what joy! Now if only SMERSH could locate Premier Betty!

An alternative version of events surrounding Pupovich's efforts to rebuild his dacha have come from our secret internal investigator (Sister Massively Opiated). Trust but verify, comrades! Trust but verify! Dover'ai no prover'ai!

Comrades...

... I think it depends on what is meant by a "Big Sausage"... I must admit that this foto was forwarded to me by a 'friend' in Leningr... I mean Petrogra... um... St. Petersburg... so I have no sense of context as the coded message that came with it was unintelligible... rather than zero's and ones, it was all b's, o's. and w's... very frustrating... in any case, I have no idea if the dog in question is working for food, is advertisement for a whore, or both... so I must agree with Red - Trust but verify!.... Dover'ai no prover'ai!.... I must remember this... it is a useful phrase, especially if it slows down Dick Cheney long enough that he doesn't pull the trigger... I won't make any duck jokes...

In any case, I hope the our Russian Doggie Comrade received appropriate nutrition... it is cute, no?

Doggie!!!

Red Square wrote:An alternative version of events surrounding Pupovich's efforts to rebuild his dacha have come from our secret internal investigator (Sister Massively Opiated). Trust but verify, comrades! Trust but verify! Dover'ai no prover'ai!

Comrade Red Cube! What can I say? A dog's got to do what a dog's got to do! Other People's Sausage (OPS) is what we like to call it. It is most profitable you know?

Sister Massively Opiated wrote:Comrades...

... I think it depends on what is meant by a "Big Sausage"... I must admit that this foto was forwarded to me by a 'friend' in Leningr... I mean Petrogra... um... St. Petersburg...

I confess! You have good informants in this situation. Yes, I was forced to seek OPS... other people's sausage! I had hoped for some big sausage from the Chairman, but all I got was what appeared to be left over rat on a stick.

It's the rabies that gives it the extra zip!

They claim confession is good for the soul. As a graduate of the KMRC, we know how valuable that can be. So, that being said, one of the consequences of my recent battle against the Bush hurricane generator is this.... I have been forced to take in an elderly evacuee of the attack.... shown below doing one of it's only 3 skills....<center><img src="https://members.cox.net/pupsdoghouse/george.jpg" width="500" height="350"></center><br>

What is this?!?

That's a cat. They eat, sleep, and sit on top of the TV with their tails hanging down over the screen.

That would piss me off so much. Nothing ruins a game more than having a stupid furry tail blocking the screen so you can't see anything and then you get raped.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:That's a cat. They eat, sleep, and sit on top of the TV with their tails hanging down over the screen.

Not quite Commissarka.... the cat beasts other talent rhymes with "sit."

Mitt?

Bit?

Tit?

Flit?

I was thinking spit.

Betty, what kind of talents are those you list?

Mitt: When the moon is full, the cat morphs into Mitt Romney?

Bit: I suppose the cat could've bitten Pup. Cats and dogs, you know.

Flit: Butterflies flit.

Tit: You tell me.

I don't know! He said it rhymed with "Sit". That's all I could think of, but none of them seemed right so I put them out there so he could point out to me the correct one.

Do you know what the correct one is?

Could the cat be prone to fits? Does he hit? Is he lit? (On fire, and that's why he's put out every night?)

Does he knit? Or maybe he has nits, that hatch into lice. Pit? Wit? Skit?

I still say spit. I do know Pup thinks cats are twits.

Maybe the cat ate Pup's grits.

Or maybe the cat expects to be treated as if he's a guest at the Ritz.

Or Pup's allergic to cats, because they make him break out in zits.

Don't ask me. I'm just a ditz.

Cats cheat.


They also COMMIT crimes.

NOOOO!!!!

Cat sappin' mah internets!

C'mon, Pupovich, we need another hint. Red Square is already suggesting multi-syllable words. Vomit, comet, bottle deposit.

Are you sure it rhymes with sit, and not some other word? Like loop, snap, ga-ga, goo-goo, lumber new (as in "I bought this lumber new"), or even fowl improvement (the genetic re-engineering of poultry--I'm sure a cat would be very interested in that).

Where's Mousey-Tongue when we need him? Surely he could rattle off the three skills of a cat? They say if you drop cats upside-down they land on all fours, but it'd take me the rest of the night to come up with a word that rhymes with all that.

OK, I can see I am dealing with cat beast lovers, and so perhaps greater hints may be needed. Now I have heard that some of our south of the border voters refer to those who really have a talent like a cat "has the sheets." Yes, one of the cats major talents sounds like "sheet" when pronounced by some.

Then again, very young voters often refer to this talent as "doo doo." No matter what it is called, the cat has a real talent for it. Did I forget he also has a real talent for sleeping?

Is he lit? (On fire, and that's why he's put out every night?)

Spontaneous cat combustion? The Devil you say!

Marshal Pupovich wrote: Yes, one of the cats major talents sounds like "sheet" when pronounced by some.

He digs for beets or lands on all four feet. If the cat's female, she's in heat, and in a couple of months you'll have lots of little kitty cats sucking on their mother's teats.

Cats like meat. They're very neat. When you get up from your chair, they take your seat because it's warm. Many are warm, loving, and very sweet.

Then again, very young voters often refer to this talent as "doo doo." No matter what it is called, the cat has a real talent for it. Did I forget he also has a real talent for sleeping?

So you're saying your cat has the power of Hoo-Doo?

Few can do the doo doo voo doo that cat can do!

I remember kids finding cat crap in the sandboxes at school and thinking it was Indian clay and playing with it.

Morons.

Pup!

Any luck in finding the bodies yet?

Cynthia needs our help in finding them.

Maybe Gustav might have accidentally uncovered them?

A message from Pupovich's secret admirer.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/qXo3NFqkaRM&h ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Laika the Space Dog wrote:Pup!

Any luck in finding the bodies yet?

Cynthia needs our help in finding them.

Maybe Gustav might have accidentally uncovered them?

Verily, we must salute Comrade Cynthia for sticking to this investigation! She shouts truth to power! I am hoping that I misunderstood one statement however. She mentioned that these innocent victims of Katrina were dispatched by a single bullet. Did she mean the Bushitler goons managed to take care of such a large job with just one "magic" bullet? If so, this represents an efficiency that even Uncle Iosef failed to achieve!

Red Square wrote:A message from Pupovich's secret admirer.

There is no secret there Comrade Cube! But the noble dog can express itself in more than verbal ways. This is a classic example, one unmatched by any cat.