Comrades. You can't stop The Cube, you can only hope to contain it.

One cannot swing a dead cat (excuse the pun, Chairman Meow) without seeing the influence of The People's Cube. Even capitalist mega-corporations who profit off the slave labor of low-wage workers are succumbing to the powers of The Cube, adopting their own People's Cube into a glorious people's mascot.

McDonalds has just released its newest team member, Happy. Happy's duty to the peoples of the world will be to agitate the young progs to sacrifice their enjoyable high-calorie burgers, nuggets, and Cokes for Michelle Obama's Party-approved meal of fresh fruits, vegetables and low-sugar beverage options like milk and water.

McDonald's new happy meal mascot terrifies some on social media

Again, the efforts of all of you to educate, indoctrinate, and intimidate others to adopt the philosophy of The People's Cube has once again proven that RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

While the Cube base is excellent, Happy needs to be Happier so as to more fully convey the joys of required mandated fast-food roughage choices.

Given that under the new policy eating is mostly discouraged, a more korrekt mascot will have some sort of a multi-functional mouth-plug that can simultaneously be used as a butt-plug and pacifier.

But since one still can't propagandize and agitate for the new healthy menu without opening one's mouth, a partially open mouth-plug / butt-plug should be available to those young Party members who have been licensed to open their mouths upon completion of Michelle Obama's re-education program.

A disembodied set of choppers with darkness where a throat should be, all in a box the color of blood? What's so terrifying about that?

Terrifying

With all of the Collective Children™ being equal there will be no distinction between "infant" and "toddler" Happy Meal Toyz™ One size fits all. Like it or not.

From the Peoples' Archives: REAL Happy Meals:

First, the Che-Gourmet/Kagan-Gourmet Archives:



Second, the Government-Dependency Archives:

--KOOK

Don't forget that a government-approved Happy Meal must include carrots and NOT fries:


And one more thing-- If we've learned anything from the wisdom of PeTa, it's that the best example of a happy meal is the fish that got away.

I also find that too few people even know about the REAL PeTA .

--KOOK