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Mother Michelle's Miracle Diet

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Mama Michelles Miracle Diet copy.jpg
Comrades are you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired? Do you suffer from pale skin and sunken eyes with dark circles around them? Do bullies pick on you at the beach? Have you tried other weight gain diets and protein supplements without success?

Then try Mother Michelle's Miracle Diet ! Simply by eating two lobsters a day with drawn butter, cornbread, pickled beets and all the fixin's you can add pounds and inches to your waist in only days. Results guaranteed in less than 2 weeks !

Ladies, now you can have the wide hips and well rounded ass of your dreams. Men, you can have the plump rosy cheeks that maiden Aunts love to pinch at weddings and family reunions.

If you can get the taxpayer's to buy your food, you too can look and feel like a million bucks…GUARANTEED !

Michelle lobster.jpg

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Indeed it does look like MOO-chelle has put on a few £s since she's been galavanting stumping for the Children's™ obesity. She's a wonderful role model all wrapped up in a Kobe beet-shaped do-as-I-say-not-as-I-eat package.

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If you want the opposite results as this ad, try the " Stalingrad " diet plan. Just ask Red Square.....he was there ! Don't believe it ? Well, I've got this photo ........

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Comrades,

On this diet the German army was able shed thousands of pounds of flesh, but also military equipment, weapons, ammunition and drive to conquer.

Their diets required 40 below zero temperatures. The coldest winter on record up to that point.

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Comrade Tooorisky wrote:Comrades,

On this diet the German army was able shed thousands of pounds of flesh, but also military equipment, weapons, ammunition and drive to conquer.

Their diets required 40 below zero temperatures. The coldest winter on record up to that point.
An egomanical dear leader personal trainer is a big plus as well, no?

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Germans.jpg
Whatever history that Dear Leader deems important will be acknowledged by the State.......All other events and lessons learned will be considered irrelevant. This pervading wisdom is one more reason why Obama's administration is held in such high regard by the masses.

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Comrade Whoopie wrote:
Mama Michelles Miracle Diet copy.jpg
Comrades are you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired? Do you suffer from pale skin and sunken eyes with dark circles around them? Do bullies pick on you at the beach? Have you tried other weight gain diets and protein supplements without success?

Then try Mother Michelle's Miracle Diet ! Simply by eating two lobsters a day with drawn butter, cornbread, pickled beets and all the fixin's you can add pounds and inches to your waist in only days. Results guaranteed in less than 2 weeks !

Ladies, now you can have the wide hips and well rounded ass of your dreams. Men, you can have the plump rosy cheeks that maiden Aunts love to pinch at weddings and family reunions.

If you can get the taxpayer's to buy your food, you too can look and feel like a million bucks…GUARANTEED !

PALE SKIN? SUNKEN EYE(S)?! You say as if that was some aliment?! This is glorious beauty endowments for fully packed womanhood! Who does not have lovely wide hip width (except for that scrawny Leninka who never eats enough wholesome foods like butter drenched lobster, corn, steak, bread, beet pudding and butter rum cookies)!? I am so proud of Mama MO's growth and excellent exampleage for the children.

We must all denounce skinny anorexia females!! "BIG IS BACK"

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Leninka has been on the diet a whole month and look at the results...

Leninka booty queen.jpg

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She can proudly boast at being Mama MO's spitting imagine of imagery.

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Comrades, let's not be dissing Leninka. She is svelte and thin because she gives her all to the poor. And I mean it. I have seen Meow steal a pencil from a tubercular blind man. And just saunter away, throwing back over his shoulder, "I'm a Republican and that's why I robbed you." When the opposite is true. That's why I so love Meow.

But Leninka works and works and works. She steals, sure, but she takes the time to tell them why she's stealing. Proles have a right to know that they're inferior to the political class.

Leninka rubs it in. And that's hard work, you know.

And Fraulein, just to what good use have you put your dugs, wrinkled in the service of the party, for the party lately? It is commensurate with a party member of your high ranking to provide the nexus of experience, the refusal to recognize the tropes of entropy and physics, the dialectic of the cross-section of the almost-visualized and the presque vue.

This contributes to the interclass conversation, which is not to be confused with the trans-temporal dialogue between the Ur-Trotskyites and the neo-Stalinists.

It is essential to eschew the obfuscation over these relatively simple, doctrinal points.

I would recommend to you, Fraulein, lest you lose your exalted position, that you spend more time on your dialectic than on your bosom.

Or hair.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:It is commensurate with a party member of your high ranking to provide the nexus of experience, the refusal to recognize the tropes of entropy and physics, the dialectic of the cross-section of the almost-visualized and the presque vue.

This contributes to the interclass conversation, which is not to be confused with the trans-temporal dialogue between the Ur-Trotskyites and the neo-Stalinists.

It is essential to eschew the obfuscation over these relatively simple, doctrinal points.


Good Lenin Theo, such language. Do you kiss Bruno your mother with that mouth?

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Whoa... I was bedazzled by elocution ! I need a moment to collect my thoughts ( not to worry....this won't take long ).

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Ok, here we go.......Looks like Commisar Theocritus was paying attention in English classes !
Subsequently, his preponderance of descriptive referencing is kinda' terrific, ya know ?

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Comrade Whoopie wrote:Leninka has been on the diet a whole month and look at the results...

Leninka booty queen.jpg

I'm lookin...






...yep, still lookin...

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Leninka's territorial expansion is why the sofa was invented. Oy !

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Commissar Theocritus, you most of all should recognize my loyal service to the collective and for the greater good of dear Leader and his minions. You're aware of my servitude to Comrades Reid, Emanuel, Axelrod, Pelosi, Biden, Geithner, Gates, Holder, Locke, Vilsack and well, the list goes on and on with the Czars, does it not? I have not mentioned the 'party favors' handed out at your last party and how Bruno so enjoyed such a spirited evening. (btw, I am hopeful your attorney's fees will be covered. Neighbors can be so un-neighborly, can they not?)

Now I would like you to answer Comrade Whoopie's most irrelevant questionnaire... kissing parental units is of such importance (and ensures a nice inheritance which shall be shared with the collective), have you been doing your equal share? And if not with that mouth then which one?

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Krasnodar wrote:Leninka's territorial expansion is why the sofa was invented. Oy !

Yes indeed, when Leninka sits at the lunch counter whitey can't find a seat. But if you think she's fat you haven't seen her momma. Her momma is so fat that when she dances the band skips. And although Leninka is a light skinned articulate black, her daddy is so dark, when he gets out of the car, the check engine oil light comes on.

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Be nice to Leninka's ginormous ass. After all, she's only doing what all light-skinned black women who clean up well (thank you, Dear Joe Biden) ought to do, and that's be like Moochelle. (Is that Mooch-elle, from her living high on OPM, or Moo-shell, because she is, er, rather bovine?) Next she'll be on all fours rooting around among the healthy roots and tubers in the White House garden, along with Moochelle.

Then they can rise to eat all that lobster. Moochelle has confided in me that there is nothing better than lobster poached in butter with a little loamy soil sprinkled on it.

Moochelle wrote:Theocritus, I'm a plain little girl you know--they told me I couldn't get into Princeton because of my grades and I wrote my senior thesis in Princeton about how they told me I couldn't get into Princeton. Anyway, after I overcame that, and after I managed to grapple with that $300K/year job that the University of Chicago made for me, and discontinued after Barry got into the White House, I learned the great joy of food.

And there is nothing better than lobster. I personally like mine with a little French soil sprinkled on top--it's that hint of truffles, you know. And when the soil gets into my snout, it's entirely unremarkable in France to look down your nose while talking through it.

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Whoopie, I am so hurt that you'd think that I have a potty mouth. I'm even more surprised to find that you think that I'd kiss Bruno. I don't care how much foundation he puts on, that five o'clock shadow at 10 AM is like sandpaper. Personally I think that's why our Many Titted Empress and Bruno don't get on. He was comparing his beard to her legs, and cried when he lost.

And, Fraulein, dear, dear Fraulein, I know all about your dedicated service to the party. In fact Red Star and I have been taking notes. I have noticed that your dacha is getting ever better furnished and I know that you got all that the prog way--a blizzard of lies, theft, and extortion. For the Children™.

So it's time for me to get some of that pelf.

And by the way, resistance is useless. Leave your doors unlocked. Red Star's goons are very violent. And very stupid.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:... And, Fraulein, dear, dear Fraulein, I know all about your dedicated service to the party. In fact Red Star and I have been taking notes. I have noticed that your dacha is getting ever better furnished and I know that you got all that the prog way--a blizzard of lies, theft, and extortion. For the Children™.

So it's time for me to get some of that pelf.

And by the way, resistance is useless. Leave your doors unlocked. Red Star's goons are very violent. And very stupid.

Oh my! most loyal Comarde, you most of all should know we, the glorious Progs, do not share our pelf, our wealth, our goods, our endowments with any ne'er-do-well, any friend nor foe. Why do you think we so fervently embrace OPM for others? My womanly ways do bring in troves of treasures, it is true, and they shall stay troved safe and secure in my small hacienda with the glorious lake views. That is only fair and just.

You and Red Star will always find the door open . . . and the vodka flowing. . . and a quick boot to the gut to any sticky fingers, which I, of course, never expect to happen (we shall forget about the horrendous incident last spring).

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Fraulein, Red Star and I thank you for your generosity. But I would warn you about not giving your bit of mordito (the little bite) to Made Progs.

And as I said, resistance is useless. If I want something, I give the high sign to Bruno, who instantly goes into choruses of "Tico Tico no Fubar," and the general result is much like the audience reception of "Springtime for Hitler," in that Mel Brooks movie The Producers.


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Obviously, these people have no appreciate for Hitler. Possibly they have him confused with Bushitler? But the look is one I've seen many times before and have yet to understand . . . it is the frosted over gaze we have seen the the gulag cafeteria (yes there is one, right next to the De-cafing Station) when we server my our delicious Beet & Sauerkraut Goulash and Dumplings.

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Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:
Comrade Whoopie wrote:
Mama Michelles Miracle Diet copy.jpg
Comrades are you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired? Do you suffer from pale skin and sunken eyes with dark circles around them? Do bullies pick on you at the beach? Have you tried other weight gain diets and protein supplements without success?

Then try Mother Michelle's Miracle Diet ! Simply by eating two lobsters a day with drawn butter, cornbread, pickled beets and all the fixin's you can add pounds and inches to your waist in only days. Results guaranteed in less than 2 weeks !

Ladies, now you can have the wide hips and well rounded ass of your dreams. Men, you can have the plump rosy cheeks that maiden Aunts love to pinch at weddings and family reunions.

If you can get the taxpayer's to buy your food, you too can look and feel like a million bucks…GUARANTEED !

PALE SKIN? SUNKEN EYE(S)?! You say as if that was some aliment?! This is glorious beauty endowments for fully packed womanhood! Who does not have lovely wide hip width (except for that scrawny Leninka who never eats enough wholesome foods like butter drenched lobster, corn, steak, bread, beet pudding and butter rum cookies)!? I am so proud of Mama MO's growth and excellent exampleage for the children.

We must all denounce skinny anorexia females!! "BIG IS BACK"
Attention Comrades,This is only a partial quote.The whole truth is "Biggest Backsides".


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Comrade Whoopie wrote:
Krasnodar wrote:Leninka's territorial expansion is why the sofa was invented. Oy !

Yes indeed, when Leninka sits at the lunch counter whitey can't find a seat. But if you think she's fat you haven't seen her momma. Her momma is so fat that when she dances the band skips. And although Leninka is a light skinned articulate black, her daddy is so dark, when he gets out of the car, the check engine oil light comes on.

Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo mama so fat we're in her right now

Yo mama so fat she wears neck deorderant

Yo mama so fat she can hear bacon cooking in Canada

and my personal favorite...

Yo mama so fat her blood type is Ragu!

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Comrades,

Leninka got back!

I remain,
Dr. Chicago

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I can not believe dearest Leader would say that toMoouchelle Michelle, Whoopie, but since you have the authenticated picture, how can we doubt.... and btw, she has put on a pound or 20, has she not.

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Comrades,

There is no truth to the rumor Mooshell wears a wide load ahead sign on her posterior, no back up lights either.

This information was leaked by FooxUp News newest correspondent JW.

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Here we see a photo of Michelle pretending to harvest sweet potatoes from the WH garden before turning the back breaking task over to the child of a Mexican migrant.

Michelle digs.jpg

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Whoopie, I am so hurt that you'd think that I have a potty mouth.

Sorry Theo, I misunderstanded all them high falootin' words you were throwing around. I thought you were accusing the Frau of being a thespian and matriculater.

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Whoopie, I would never accuse the Fraulein of being a thespian and matriculator. I wouldn't even suggest that as an undergraduate she show her professor her thesis.

But all of this shilly-shallying is I'm afraid only one more incidence of cunctation which is designed to eschew my usufruct of whatever the hell I want.

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I always fantasized about being ordered to testify in court so I could show the girls my subpoena.

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Don't tell anybody, but I am a notorious pedagogue. Been doin' it for years.

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Betinov, I am shocked that you would out yourself that way. Don't tell anyone that I'm an androphile.

But my favorite is Nanski Peloski surrounded by our MTE, Barbara Boxer, Patty Murray, and Moochelle.

That's a quincunx.


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I DENOUNCE (in jest) Commissar Theo for making me look up so many words AND STILL not know what the hell is being said.

Is this the fabled Aesopian language used by V. Lenin back in the old days?

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Oh, dear Comrade Buffoon, do not worry. While I was in college I knew that the enemy was William F. Buckley, Jr. I mean, he looked like, uh, a gentleman and I'm a prole-master. Well, I was just a budding autocrat then, but still I knew he was awful.

I read his horrible magazine National Review and looked up every single word that I didn't know.

And I took classics courses in college.

This is my dedication to The Cause. I'm willing to go through the terrors of Buckley and education, which I certainly hate in my role as a progressive, just to see what the sons of bitches are up to.

You get it? That's why I love to stay at Hotel 1000 in Seattle or the Adolphus in Dallas. Because I want to see what they're up to.

That would have been what I was doing had I been able to jet into Bali for the big Hot Air hot-air confabulation, where my friends had to park their jets on the next tropical paradise. But unfortunately I couldn't be there.

Tipper Gore was hysterical and I couldn't leave her. And anyway, she hadn't signed that power of attorney to me.

"Theocritus!" she moaned, and if you heard her testifying before Congress about lyrics on records with satanist covers, you'd know that it was a keening, and plaintive, sound. Much in fact like Algore's keening and plaintive sound when I informed him that shooting all the Republicans in Florida wouldn't work even if he did have a Daley volunteering to do it for him. But I pointed him to a mirror and said, "Show us how you'll fight for them, Al," and the cognitive dissonance between what he said and what he never meant and what a complete broke-dick fuckhead he is had him sitting on the carpet and looking, er, very much like Algore sitting on the carpet.

Oh. Pardon me. I am so full of progilicoius delight that I am getting carried away with myself.

I've sent Bruno on a wild-goose, er, diamond chase, and am expecting Nina Totenberg for supper. After all, who could resist the charms of someone who said a decade ago, that if there is a god, then he could give Jesse Helms or his grandchildren AIDS.

Now. I ask you. I'm a vicious, mean, nasty made prog. I truly hate humanity. People suck. I loathe myself, like all made progs.

I've paid my dues.

And why couldn't I, me, myself have thought to wish AIDS on innocent people while collecting a salary from the taxpayer?

Nina, I worship at your feet. You're the evilest person I know. So far.


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Tell me Commissar Theocritus, is the hot one in the middle available?
Some potatoes, turnips, and beets should fatten her up nicely to make her ready for the making of more socialist children, No?

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Groucho i must agree with you, one in center is very hot. i have never heard of her before. Must be new to the world of Progressive cause. I can tell with tattoos and "wanna be a boy" clothes she is most enlighted.

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Perhaps a few extra vodka rations would help too?

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Comrades, the one in the middle is Janeane Gawdawfulo, er, Garofalo. Once I heard her talking with the sage Keith Olbermann in which she said that anyone who disagree with Community Organizer Obaama was a racist, straight up. I was pleased to learn that she'd mastered the idea of straight up.

[ off ]This is the whiniest bitch on the face of the earth. She makes me pop a woody for Helen Thomas, and I'm GAY. You have no idea of the grease of the woman; she has to have seat belts on her chairs because she keeps sliding off. She can't use a suppository.

And this next may sound fanciful but it is not. I've been in Canada once, in 2009, when I drove from Texas to Vancouver. I was staying at a soulless and colorless place, the Grand Westin, a rather stere conversion of condos to hotel, and the first night had a dream that Janeane was backed against the wall, and I was pressed against her. Her leg was wrapped around my thigh, my left hand behind her neck, and I was saying, looking into her bloodshot eyes, "Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid."

I woke up wringing wet. I'd not spend the night in a foreign country in over 30 years. Was I picking up on some evil emanations? And from CANADA? Still, it the place was done in brown and tan and ivory and was unsettling in its Children-of-the-Corn sense. Who knew if I was in some nexus of Gawdawfulo moonbat

The next morning I tried to reschedule my trip to leave Canada instantly. That was the most horrible thing I've ever had happen in the middle of the night and I've had a seizure in the middle of the night. But I couldn't rebook my hotels.

So I stayed. The next night I dreamt of Janeane G and Keith Olbermann talking, and I was in his office with them. I shit in his office sink and walked out.

This is all utterly true. And I apologize profusely to Canada for linking it to Janeane Gawdawfulo.

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Groucho Marxist wrote:Perhaps a few extra vodka rations would help too?
Actually those extra vodka rations would be for me.

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yes much vodka is needed when talking to prog females the calibur of ganeen galflunkle.

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Gentlemen, do your proggish winkles not thrill to the grease and dirt of Janeane Gawdawfulo? As you may know, I generally walk down the other side of the street but she, for some reason, titillates me.

My only worry is that someone might get carpet or grass burn from her legs.

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That is why so much vodka is needed, the pain from the legs is unbearable to all humans.

men_heels-thumb-560x587-49845.jpg

here are gary ganene, hillary, and nanski you can see the legs, i would have taken a closer picture but my camera committed suicide rather than process.

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Irish Republican Army wrote:That is why so much vodka is needed, the pain from the legs is unbearable to all humans.

The attachment men_heels-thumb-560x587-49845.jpg is no longer available

here are gary ganene, hillary, and nanski you can see the legs, i would have taken a closer picture but my camera committed suicide rather than process.

Thats Fuckin Progressive copy.jpg

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IRA, you will shortly be receiving a visit from the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits, which will peer at you from under your furniture and hiss, "Nuclar, nuclar!" Then there is the attack of Pupovich's talent-shitting pigeons.

This for showing Bruno just what he might look like in those open-toed pumps.

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I'm so sorry for thinking so about Bruno, but these days the news is so discombobulating. I love Washington. I get quite the stiffie thinking about Nanski stealing the tattoos off a circus geek. But I'm worried for the True Faith.

It seems that the proles aren't buying it. Which means that, as made progs, we must kill them.

We won't make any money doing it, if they are dead, but then when was progressivism ever humanitarian? After all, Mao and Stalin were the most progressive of people--progressing mankind into the total control of people who wanted the control, with the fools wanting to be controlled following the Judas goat into the abattoir.

Please, Nansi! Say it's not so! If you lose the house, what will I do when I just have to have someone to bow down before me? When I cannot stand the idea of people looking at me, eyes at a level?

How can I stand standing on my own two feet? I'm a fucking made prog, goddamn it, and I have proven myself, like a Spanish grandee, and if you don't keep the house, I might have to pay attention to something other than my disposition and navel.


 
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