Fellow Comrades, Comradettes, Cubists and Most and Dearest Equal Members of the Central Politbüro,

now, as always, that we wait for Next Tuesday™ Beet Harvest™, there's nothing beetter than hard work and preparations.

Thus, I've recovered the brand new Auto Beet Reaper™ (vintage edition), right from Motherland™.


You can try your hard equally earned beet harvest skills for just 15 kopeks. Be ready for harvest!

Comrade I trust the money recovered from this device will be returned to the People via the Inner Party committee for equitable redistribution.

And under no circumstance should this device be used to promote competition over who is more able to uproot beets with their bare hands. All people are equally gifted in this regard. I recommend that the device only display the word "satisfactory" when the user tugs on the handle.

I must with hesitation, agree with Whoopie. I am the (self appointed) Commissionette of Redistributed Funds for the Inner Party Committee ™ , and I will be looking for any and all monies on my desk by close (2pm) Monday.

As for competition - I believe that word has been permanently BANNED by the Progressive Intelligentsia. Might I suggest you rethink your thinking.

Self Criticism Time: Originally, AU highly favored the introduction of this device, having misread the word "...preparations" as "...reparations". Naturally, this created great eagerness to claim his Just Recompense as a Highly Placed Apparatchik. Alas, after his Reading Error was pointed out by a colleague, he has lost much of the enthusiasm. He now bows to the judgment guidance of his Party Leaders.

Hopefully this youthful indiscretion in the Reaper matter does not warrant a Show Trial. (Or if it does, perhaps we can make some kind of arrangement based on free usage of the Beet Reaper device...)

My most dearest comrades! I denounce myself for your misinterpretation of the Automatic Beet Reaper!

Of course the vile monies will be propperly redistributed through the convenient channel, this is the Inner Circle Party of Redistributed Funds for the Inner Party Committee™.

And who said the "C" word? This automechanic device was specially designed for the training of the masses. Who wants to practice in a beet-field for free, when it can be done by a handful of kopeks? It's just for The Common Good™ !!

Katpain Moskovskaya wrote:My most dearest comrades! I denounce myself for your misinterpretation of the Automatic Beet Reaper!

Of course the vile monies will be propperly redistributed through the convenient channel, this is the Inner Circle Party of Redistributed Funds for the Inner Party Committee™.

And who said the "C" word? This automechanic device was specially designed for the training of the masses. Who wants to practice in a beet-field for free, when it can be done by a handful of kopeks? It's just for The Common Good™ !!

I am so relieved that your thinking has cleared up. (you may make any check/money orders out to me directly or I... we also accept cash or gold. NO COD'S.) This is a fine beet reaper and I am sure it will do well (considering we are 160 years behind in progress)

Katpain Moskovskaya wrote:My most dearest comrades! I denounce myself for your misinterpretation of the Automatic Beet Reaper!

Of course the vile monies will be propperly redistributed through the convenient channel, this is the Inner Circle Party of Redistributed Funds for the Inner Party Committee™.

And who said the "C" word? This automechanic device was specially designed for the training of the masses. Who wants to practice in a beet-field for free, when it can be done by a handful of kopeks? It's just for The Common Good™ !!

Whew - This Self-Denunciation appears to remove all culpability from AU for his earlier Self Denounced Crime Against Peace And Justice Youthful Indiscretion.

Of course, now, if a few kopeks can buy me Our Heroic Peoples Collective a few extra days of usage of this remarkable device, well, let's just say that Our Collective's Appreciation towards the Inventor would be tangible...

Comrade Whoopi, I hate to say this but your statement that we are all gifted equally is not correct! Even the sainted Karl Marx acknowledged there are differences in abilities with the maxim: "To each according to his needs, From each according to his abilities." Even Marx allowed for unequal distribution of income, in that the Party Elite need more and better vodka, Zil limousines, dachas, etc. Indeed, it is exactly as comrade Orwell stated, "some are more equal", and that means in both needs and abilities.

Comrade Ogrrre wrote:Comrade Whoopi, I hate to say this but your statement that we are all gifted equally is not correct! Even the sainted Karl Marx acknowledged there are differences in abilities with the maxim: "To each according to his needs, From each according to his abilities." Even Marx allowed for unequal distribution of income, in that the Party Elite need more and better vodka, Zil limousines, dachas, etc. Indeed, it is exactly as comrade Orwell stated, "some are more equal", and that means in both needs and abilities.

Such clear thinking you have! You may make your check out to Colonel Fraulein and send it to me directly.

Colonel Fraulein, you foxy babe, you! I have put the check in the mail. It should reach you sometime in ...


*** INCOMING WORMHOLE!**** Please note, that the time this check would have arrived has been redistributed and used elsewhere for the Greater Good. The Office of the Department of the Commissar of Time apologizes for any inconveniences, lost revenue, missing time, unusual localized distortions of time and space, or anything else that might make me laugh. Thank you for your cooperation. --- Colonel 7.62 ****END WORMHOLE***

Auto Beat Reaper?

Man, I could really use a beet-on-a-stick....

Comrade Ogrrre wrote:Colonel Fraulein, you foxy babe, you! I have put the check in the mail. It should reach you sometime in ...


*** INCOMING WORMHOLE!**** Please note, that the time this check would have arrived has been redistributed and used elsewhere for the Greater Good. The Office of the Department of the Commissar of Time apologizes for any inconveniences, lost revenue, missing time, unusual localized distortions of time and space, or anything else that might make me laugh. Thank you for your cooperation. --- Colonel 7.62 ****END WORMHOLE***

I am wondering why I am still in waiting....

Speaking of things that make me laugh, I understand a crude drawing of what appears to be check made out to one "F. Pulloskies" has been found on a cave wall in France. In other news, I understand a cave bear was found outside of the Fraulein's dacha. Most curious.

Commissar Colonel 7.62,

While working on the translation of the latest finds of the Dead Sea Scrolls I found something rather incredible:

Just as Mama used to make on Birthday!!!

Tovarichi wrote:

beet.jpg

Just as Mama used to make on Birthday!!!

Spacebo, comrade! Now if only I could get "Moroz, Moroz" out of my head.....

Comrade Grigori, that is shocking! Apparently that lost check has gotten all over the place. I just saw too that it was used to purchase the Island of Manhattan, instead of a bunch of beads. Which means that the Fraulein is guilty of defrauding and oppressing native peoples!

Can this device get with the beet?

Does it play music and show movies? If not, how long do we have to wait? 10 years?