New tool to brainwa... er... help deniers

Comrades, the news just keeps getting better and better! I think that next Tuesday must be just around the corner!

In today's news is an exciting discovery that may help us to cure Deniers of their disease, instead of having to kill them. It would be so much better to return them to society as fully functioning robots Progs.

Beliefs changed by beaming magnetic waves into brain

A bizarre experiment claims to be able to make Christians no longer believe in God and make Britons open their arms to migrants in experiments some may find a threat to their values.

I am putting in an immediate request to the State Science Institute for the funds to purchase two of these units for Room 101. This may be the breakthrough we've been looking for, because there are getting to be so many heretics deniers that we're going to have trouble killing all of them.
 

Isn't this simply a new JiffyLobo™ technique? I'm all for efficiency, as long as it doesn't put union members out of work.
 

 

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Some of you older Cubers™ will recall that Red Square™ experimented with this technique in the early 2000s.
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The results were less than optimal... but we did get a brand new Ivan!
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Red's hair was bright red... remember?!
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Call me old-fashioned, but I always found the truncheon to be a very effective tool of persuasion. This magnetic thingy could potentially render a certain class of commissars obsolete.
 

Comrades,
Your enthusiasm for this machine is commendable. Getting two machines allows us to use one, and reverse engineer the other. We can then sell the new machines at a lower price and skirt any copy laws. Just an idea!
 

Fun times Comrades for the continuing to expand collective.



 

Mikhail Lysenkomann

A bizarre experiment claims to be able to make Christians no longer believe in God and make Britons open their arms to migrants in experiments some may find a threat to their values.
It is indicative that no one is even mentioning the possibility of making Muslims no longer believe in Allah and reducing the propensity for murderous Jihad. Obviously, there's nothing wrong with the "migrants" - it's the Europeans who need to be "modified" with the new magnetic waves spell.

That is now a default setting, comrades! And the enchantment was done without any magnetic waves. The enchanted kingdom is now ours for the taking! And then we'll figure our what to do with the "migrants."
 

Red Square

Mikhail Lysenkomann

A bizarre experiment claims to be able to make Christians no longer believe in God and make Britons open their arms to migrants in experiments some may find a threat to their values.
It is indicative that no one is even mentioning the possibility of making Muslims no longer believe in Allah and reducing the propensity for murderous Jihad. Obviously, there's nothing wrong with the "migrants" - it's the Europeans who need to be "modified" with the new magnetic waves spell.

That is now a default setting, comrades! And the enchantment was done without any magnetic waves. The enchanted kingdom is now ours for the taking! And then we'll figure our what to do with the "migrants."

I hear the Iranians are already working on a version of the device that turns weak-minded westerners into radical Muslims. Does anyone know how soon Secretary Kerry will negotiate our surrender, under the guise of the Iran Magnetic Muslim Mind-Warp Proliferation Deal?
 

Red Square

Mikhail Lysenkomann

A bizarre experiment claims to be able to make Christians no longer believe in God and make Britons open their arms to migrants in experiments some may find a threat to their values.
It is indicative that no one is even mentioning the possibility of making Muslims no longer believe in Allah and reducing the propensity for murderous Jihad. Obviously, there's nothing wrong with the "migrants" - it's the Europeans who need to be "modified" with the new magnetic waves spell.

That is now a default setting, comrades! And the enchantment was done without any magnetic waves. The enchanted kingdom is now ours for the taking! And then we'll figure our what to do with the "migrants."

Now, you're scaring me, Comrade Red. You're reading my mind!
Most equal point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'm about to start reading a book I found on Gates of Vienna called Catastrophic Failure: Blindfolding America in the Face of Jihad

It's almost 800 pages long and is written by Stephen Coughlin

A commenter said:
In October, 2011, John Brennan, Deputy National Security Advisor for Homeland Security and Counterterrorism and currently the head of the CIA, wrote a letter on White House stationary directing US security agencies such as the FBI, CIA, military intelligence, and homeland security, to immediately stop any classes or training material on terrorism which mentioned Islam. Award-winning instructors such as Stephen Coughlin, who was constantly in demand for his knowledgeable and thorough preparations, were completely shut off from training security and intelligence personnel in the canonical, theological, and historical basis for those observant Muslims who are responsible for a majority of terrorism today. Not only were experts such as Coughlin barred from any further instruction, but trainees who had taken classes from them were given "re-education" classes, whatever that meant.

Coughlin has now taken all of his material, notes, references, slides, explanations, and conclusions, edited them extensively for organization and coherence, and has put them into a book.

Can't wait to read it.
 

This is why we must ban books ASAP.
 

I think I'll wait for the ABC mini-series based on, but having no actual connection to, the book.
 

The results speak for themselves!








 

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Someone sent me this x-ray of Ivan the Stakhanovets' cranium...
I think he was thinking!

He must have been a college professor at one time...
look how pointy his head is!
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Me, me, me...
is that all I think about?
 

I can't believe Ivan the Stakhanovets

Me, me, me...
is that all I think about?
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Well... yes!

(I'll bet Ivan stares at this for at least five minutes!)
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Hey, Comrade Putout,

Just got back from the wedding of my sister-in-law. A wonderful, fun-filled affair! Truly heartwarming. During an after-party conversation at her friend’s house, we were laughing at all the nicknames friends had given each other through the years. Many deep guffaws ensued.

Somehow, the subject of “dicks” came up. It was at that point that I seized the opportunity to let them know that a friend of mine (that would be you) designed a new line of men’s underpants that had printed on the front “Too Big to Fail.”

Many guffaws ensued. But, these guffaws were different, Comrade Putout, and all exactly the same. There was a sarcasm present in these new guffaws. I thought that was interesting and thought you might think so, too.

Thanks for that post! I intend to use it again but will always give you credit. It’s good to have friends in the right places. : • )
 

Indeed, Pamski, if something is too big to fail, Putout has her fingerprints all over it!
 

Pamalinsky proudly

Hey, Comrade Putout, Just got back from the wedding of my sister-in-law. Somehow, the subject of “dicks” came up.

So you ladies were talking about Ivan... why?

Ivan the Stakhanovets had to chime in and

Indeed, Pamski, if something is too big to fail, Putout has her fingerprints all over it!
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This image was created before Ivan's name change.

I've recycled it for your viewing pleasure...
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Putout said,"So you ladies were talking about Ivan... why?"

Actually, Comradette, it wasn't just ladies that guffawed, it was guys too, and a couple of same sex er...uh...couples!
 

Still proud to wear the prototypes on special government holidays and for parades....
 

I admire your persistence, Comrade Ivan!
 

Ivan the Stakhanovets

Indeed, Pamski, if something is too big to fail, Putout has her fingerprints all over it!