The Daily Kos breathlessly reports that dolphins in India have been declared "Non-human Persons." The above photo was posted on their Facebook page, to wide acclaim.

After hearing instances of dogs being registered to vote, the Daily Kos readers got inspired. They want to bring this new protected class of dolphins to America, to vote Democrat, as Non-human Persons.

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Why stop at dolphins? We believe that whales should also be declared Non-human Persons. There will be no discrimination between species at The People's Cube.

In lieu of multi-lingual ballots, interpreters who understand the Non-human Person language will be sent to tanks and oceans around the country - and world (Voting is not just limited to American Non-human Persons.) The interpreters will figure out if the ocean creature's whistle means "Democrat," then assist the Non-human Person with marking the correct party (Democrat.)

A Democrat representative states, "These Non-human Persons comprise an exciting new voting bloc for the Democrat Party - dead or alive, real or fictional. We have created this new Party symbol that shows solidarity with our Non-human Person friends."

The First Lady excitedly throws her support behind this cause.

Apes voting as Democrats ? Hmmm. Seems perfectly natural to me .

But wouldn't it be easier to have Comrade Soros " adjust " U.S. votes counted from the election tabulation company that he owns in Spain ?

Hey ...it worked in 2012.

Not letting them all vote is animalist. Why are they against cockroaches voting?


Let the lions vote, let the tigers vote, and let the bears vote!

My canine-Amerikkan has been denied the right to vote for too long!

Down with oppression by the man!

We must stop the murders of future voters by man. Where are their due process and rights? I denounce hunting.

Oh boy! Now that animals are non-human persons, maybe the IRS will let me declare my cats as dependents. Then I can get the Earned Income Credit for being a Nonhuman Person Parent and be eligible for an Obamaphone.

Komrade Katz wrote:Oh boy! Now that animals are non-human persons, maybe the IRS will let me declare my cats as dependents. Then I can get the Earned Income Credit for being a Nonhuman Person Parent and be eligible for an Obamaphone.

I guess feeding the birds and squirrels is considered a charity. I will write to the IRS for credit.

Hammer and Loupe wrote:

Komrade Katz wrote:Oh boy! Now that animals are non-human persons, maybe the IRS will let me declare my cats as dependents. Then I can get the Earned Income Credit for being a Nonhuman Person Parent and be eligible for an Obamaphone.

I guess feeding the birds and squirrels is considered a charity. [highlight=#FFFF99]I will write to the IRS for credit.[/highlight]

Don't forget to tell the IRS that your cow ate all the bird and squirrel food receipts!

Captain Craptek wrote:

Hammer and Loupe wrote:

Komrade Katz wrote:Oh boy! Now that animals are non-human persons, maybe the IRS will let me declare my cats as dependents. Then I can get the Earned Income Credit for being a Nonhuman Person Parent and be eligible for an Obamaphone.

I guess feeding the birds and squirrels is considered a charity. [highlight=#FFFF99]I will write to the IRS for credit.[/highlight]

Don't forget to tell the IRS that your cow ate all the bird and squirrel food receipts!

Thank you Comrade Craptek,
I will not. I will write to IRS about feeding the cows too.

Catch on, Sheriff... Her Thighness, our beloved MTE teaches us "...at this point what difference does it make?"

Tovarichi wrote:Catch on, Sheriff... Her Thighness, our beloved MTE teaches us "...at this point what difference does it make?"

Sometimes all the difference in the world. For example,
Was the Meteor that extincted the Dinosaurs being a heartless rethug like Shpeilberg in the picture? Or was it merely in a spontaneous reaction to an offensive Youtube video?

Thought Sheriff wrote:

Tovarichi wrote:Catch on, Sheriff... Her Thighness, our beloved MTE teaches us "...at this point what difference does it make?"

Sometimes all the difference in the world. For example,
Was the Meteor that extincted the Dinosaurs being a heartless rethug like Shpeilberg in the picture? Or was it merely in a spontaneous reaction to an offensive Youtube video?

Comrads,
A big rock slamming onto earth is a hoax made by the capitalists. We all know Shpeilberg was the cause of all dinosaur extinction. The people's museum has an exhibit explaining how he did it.

Hammer and Loupe wrote:

Thought Sheriff wrote:

Tovarichi wrote:Catch on, Sheriff... Her Thighness, our beloved MTE teaches us "...at this point what difference does it make?"

Sometimes all the difference in the world. For example,
Was the Meteor that extincted the Dinosaurs being a heartless rethug like Shpeilberg in the picture? Or was it merely in a spontaneous reaction to an offensive Youtube video?

Comrads,
A big rock slamming onto earth is a hoax made by the capitalists. We all know Shpeilberg was the cause of all dinosaur extinction. The people's museum has an exhibit explaining how he did it.

I never go into those any more than is mandated. I get lost in the 1917 wing.

Komrade Katz wrote:Oh boy! Now that animals are non-human persons, maybe the IRS will let me declare my cats as dependents. Then I can get the Earned Income Credit for being a Nonhuman Person Parent and be eligible for an Obamaphone.

Hey, if my birds are non human persons, I'm sending them out to get jobs. It's about time they started contributing their share to this household!

Kelly Ivanovna/келя ивановна wrote:

Komrade Katz wrote:Oh boy! Now that animals are non-human persons, maybe the IRS will let me declare my cats as dependents. Then I can get the Earned Income Credit for being a Nonhuman Person Parent and be eligible for an Obamaphone.

Hey, if my birds are non human persons, I'm sending them out to get jobs. [highlight=#ffff00]It's about time they started contributing their share to this household[/highlight]!

Dear me, this sounds dangerously close to demanding <gasp> acceptance of fiscal and personal responsibility on the part of these non-human persons. But perhaps non-human persons will be declared a protected class. Then they will be eligible for even more Free Stuff™, as well as diversity quotas goals and timetables opportunities. In fact, I can see another wonderful cabinet-level agency about to be created. As always, I selflessly volunteer to be in charge of it.

RedDiaperette wrote:

Kelly Ivanovna/келя ивановна wrote:

Komrade Katz wrote:Oh boy! Now that animals are non-human persons, maybe the IRS will let me declare my cats as dependents. Then I can get the Earned Income Credit for being a Nonhuman Person Parent and be eligible for an Obamaphone.

Hey, if my birds are non human persons, I'm sending them out to get jobs. [highlight=#ffff00]It's about time they started contributing their share to this household[/highlight]!

Dear me, this sounds dangerously close to demanding <gasp> acceptance of fiscal and personal responsibility on the part of these non-human persons. But perhaps non-human persons will be declared a protected class. Then they will be eligible for even more Free Stuff™, as well as diversity quotas goals and timetables opportunities. In fact, I can see another wonderful cabinet-level agency about to be created. As always, I selflessly volunteer to be in charge of it.

Of course, how silly of me! I will just get them registered as "disabled" because they can't drive a tractor or make hamburgers and they can get SSI. A payment for each! And Medicaid!

Comrades! They are selling persons in the market!

Hammer and Loupe wrote:Comrades! They are selling persons in the market!

I saw a frozen raccoon on the side of the road this morning as I was driving my tractor to the repair shop. I was tempted to bag it and share it with my komrades to supplement our diet of sawdust laden bread, moldy beets, and vodka.