Surprised by the adverse public and (more importantly) press reaction to the trade which saved POW private Bowe Bergdahl from the Taliban's extremist Tea Party wing, President Barack Obama today issued a public apology for the deal.

Speaking off the record to a news conference for his closest four or five hundred journOlist friends, the President said "I'm sorry President Bush screwed this up so badly. Obviously, if I had been in charge, better decisions would have been made."

The president went on to say he only heard about the trade while watching the evening news on MSNBC.

"If someone had told me about this earlier, I would've stepped in and demanded to be involved in the process."

Senate Intelligence Committee Chairwoman Diane Feinstein also issued an apology, saying "I wish to apologize for my Republican colleagues whose failure to give us 30 days notice regarding the illegal prisoner swap they were considering caused this whole fiasco. And I'm shocked and appalled that they have so little regard for the law they passed and forced President Obama to sign."

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, interviewed at Katie's restaurant in Wilmington DE (which he and VP Joe Biden both assure us still exists), echoed Senator Feinstein's words and added "I also wish to apologize for the Koch Brothers who I'm sure are the motivating force for this un-American action."

Most of the Democrats were willing to accept the president's apology - as one put it, "Oh well, stupid sh*t will happen" - but some were not as conciliatory.

Congressman Alan Grayson (D-MOON) said "I REFUSE to accept the Republicans' apology for this just like I REFUSED to accept my ex-wife's apology for sandwiching herself between me and a door! And I STILL refuse to accept Sigmund Freud's apology for discovering lunacy! Ha, you thought I forgot about that one, didn't you?"

I wanted to make this "Trading Private Bergdahl" movie poster, but Mad Magazine beat me to it.

Having pivoted like a laser to the apology, the White House did not release the photo-op pictures of His O'liness Personally and profusely thanking the representative of the 5, Norullah Nori, for agreeing to be released from the Guantanamo resort facility. It was promised that Nori and his compatriots would continue to receive free health care, cable television, and access to soccer fields notwithstanding their departure.

Meanwhile ... rethuglikkan reporterers looking into the dancing story have penetrated the archives of the Craptek Dance Studio ....

And Dear Leader will be accepting the Taliban Gold Recruiters Badge with Palm device and Date Clusters for increasing the end strength by 5 in one day. Had he made 7, he would have also received a set of steak knives and a 48 hour pass.

Red Square wrote:I wanted to make this "Trading Private Bergdahl" movie poster, but Mad Magazine beat me to it.

Wow, MAD Magazine has certainly changed at least one or two stripes since the 1960s.

...and the the President got this faraway look, and a tear in his eye as he read the words scrolling across the teleprompter; " If I had a son, he'd speak Arabic and Pashto, and look like Bergdahl..."

Anyer Marx wrote:Meanwhile ... rethuglikkan reporterers looking into the dancing story have penetrated the archives of the Craptek Dance Studio ....

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Ah, the good old days...

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