Dear Comrades,

In a commendable example of his personal involvement in the stimulation and recovery of the USSA economy from years of mismanagement by the reactionary G. G. Bush, Party Chairman and President Comrade Barack Barackovich Obama has ordered the funding of a new education program designed to stimulate the American golf industry.

Officials in the White Fortress have stated that the new program is designed to boost employment in the industry and send a sign to all Party officials that the President expects their full participation in mandatory golf activities sponsored by the Party.

Comrade Obama, who has never lost a round of golf or any sport he has participated in, brought in a specialist in golfing as a way to share his enthusiasm and energy with the workers and peasants laboring throughout the USSA on golf courses, elevating their public image as serfs to the proper dignity of equal members of the Proletariat.

The President then gave the instructor several lessons and coached him on his swing before returning him to his assigned golf course in Florida.

Throughout history, the bourgeoisie have used golf as a means of oppressing the Masses, forcing citizens to work for menial wages that could not help them support their many children and disabled relatives. The President ordered that the golf instructor be paid $1000 per hour, showing that he expects all golf course managers to increase wages to livable standards as part of their gradual collectivization under the President's newly-proposed Compulsory Wage Table to be drawn up by the Department of Mandatory Labor.

Under the program mentioned during Comrade Barack Barackovich's State of the Socialist Union Address, which has been acclaimed as one of the greatest speeches ever recorded in human history, the State will increase minimum wages over time until all citizens will receive the exact same share of the Collective Wealth of the USSA, rather than the imbalanced means we now have.

Until this equity is achieved, Party officials are encouraged to engage in personal collectivization of luxury activities on behalf of the Proletariat, such as we see with President Obama's retention of a $1000 per hour golf instructor from one of the most magnificent golf courses in the USSA. Under the President's new program, Party officials in good standing must report weekly to the nearest golf range for a mandatory nine rounds of golf underwritten through their normal budgets plus special contributions from Party supporters.

Comrades, encourage Party officials to engage in recreational activities for the sake of the People! Agitate for the new $1000 per hour minimum wage!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

Raise the minimum wage to $1,000 per hour NOW!