ObamaCare Denies Coverage of Cowgirl Sex-Position Injuries

After scientists discovered that the "cowgirl position" (woman on top) is the most dangerous sex position and is responsible for half of all injuries during sex, the ObamaCare Health-Care Oversight Board has ruled that ObamaCare must exclude coverage for injuries during sexual activity employing such dangerous behavior.

Indeed, Bill Clinton was already taking precautions way back, describing what would not be included in HillaryCare:



But scientific skeptics are asking: just what evidence did the ObamaCare Health-Care Oversight Board examine in excluding coverage for injuries during "Cowgirl" sex?

Surely not this:



Is "science" now waging a War on Women? Or is it just a War on Cowgirls on the assumption that since virtually all cowgirls are from flyover country, they all must be tea-party gals?

--KOOK
 

What homophobic® conservative Christian Neanderthals with grotesquely outsizedcorpus amygdaloideum came up with this tripe? The LGBTQ&A community should be outraged as nearly every expression of lesbian love involves "Gal on top" action... so I have heard.
 

Soviet Mike Komsomolets

What homophobic® conservative Christian Neanderthals with grotesquely outsizedcorpus amygdaloideum came up with this tripe? The LGBTQ&A community should be outraged as nearly every expression of lesbian love involves "Gal on top" action... so I have heard.

I don't think "vacuuming the carpet" is quite the same as "cowgirl". I could be wrong though.

Personally, I would have thought that the most dangerous position is the one the home early husband finds you in. That's not scientific, of course, merely anecdotal.
 

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt made me bounce up and down with glee when he

Personally, I would have thought that the most dangerous position is the one the home early husband finds you in. That's not scientific, of course, merely anecdotal.

Sound advice from the man "down under."
 

As someone commented to this on Facebook...

Plus spur scars take so long to heal. And don't even get me started on hog tying
 

I saw this headline but never opened it. I was expecting something like the marionettes in Team America. They show things that are just not appropriate for human behavior, and are quite dangerous! There is nothing hotter than two marionettes getting it on! I mean, they could strangle each other in the throes of their passion! Horrors!

Once I opened it, I was quite disappointed and expected to see something really kinky. something like two people who truly love each other doing it "from the heart." Taking in each others essence. Ah, well, that's just me. (sigh)
 

Look on the bright side, comrades. Imagine the fun of asking special people to sign your cast.
 

Soviet Mike Komsomolets

The LGBTQ&A community should be outraged as nearly every expression of lesbian love involves "Gal on top" action... so I have heard.

I'm picturing two women sitting, still dressed, on the side of a bed, conversing with each other in this manner:

"Me on top."
"No, me!"
"No, me!"
"No, MEEEE...."