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People's NFL Nationalized, Sebelius to Direct

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[img]/images/NFL_Sebelius_Obamacare_Cheerleader.jpg[/img]

In a victory for the rights of workers and peasants of the USSA to receive proper State indoctrination while attending sporting events, the Department of Mandatory Health and Human Services has nationalized the National Football League and assumed control over its public activities.

Because sporting events are usually conducted in publicly-owned facilities and venues, either directly owned or within the infrastructure of a town that must cope with a stadium's traffic and security needs, it is only natural that the State would eventually assume direct supervision of public sporting activities.

However, the attention given by so many of the Proletariat to televised sports makes absorption of sports events into State communication an absolute necessity in the proper education of the Masses.

Due to the slander of counter-revolutionary elements, the State's implementation of compulsory voluntary healthcare has encountered many false impressions from citizens who have been led astray with lies. Comrade Commissarka of the DMHHS Kathleen Sebelius plans to direct the People's NFL to help spread the truth about Socialized medicine.

Special half-time events will include Kanye West, who will rap about the joys of preventative medicine as subsidized by the Obamacare plan, while Beyoncé will also have her annual mammogram performed onstage to show citizens what benefits they will receive through Obamacare. Cheerleaders are also being re-equipped with new uniforms based on hospital scrubs, but matching their team's colors.

Comrades, spectator sports are a political activity! Loyal citizens will heed the call of the People's NFL and participate in Obamacare!


Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

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Sebelius said the football league has been "very actively and enthusiastically engaged" in discussions about a partnership to encourage people to enroll in newly available insurance plans.

"We're having active discussions right now with a variety of sports affiliates" about both paid advertising and partnerships to encourage enrollment, Sebelius told reporters.
HHS is reportedly also in talks with the NBA to promote the law.
Partnerships with sports organizations are especially promising to HHS because the department hopes large numbers of young, healthy men will enroll in the law's new coverage options.

Translation: Czarina Sebelius said the football league is beginning to bend to our demands in closed sessions. We have simply explained their difficult position regarding recent reports of concussions and other terrible injuries suffered by their players. It would be a shame for the government to interfere further in the sport, but the safety of the players comes first. I believe they understand our position.



Comrades
The network intros for next season are now in production. I can hardly wait for that rock number lead-in the first Sunday evening after labor day. "Are your ready for some COLONOSCOPY?"



 
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