Obamacare Website Security Questions

Three Years. Over Half a Billion Dollars. It Sucks.

One of the security questions, seriously, is "Type a significant date in your life?" - yes, punctuated with a questions mark.




You must have a recent head trauma or 6 month of Common Core to read it without feeling sick (no one is going to help you overcome the sick feeling).
 

A significant date? That would have been with Roxanne. It was love at first sight. I still have the receipt ....
 

Favorite toy? I suppose that Lone Ranger outfit qualified me as an unrepentant racist oppressor of indigenous people. Ditto for the Zorro cape and mask. The Steve Canyon helmet signified a warmonger at heart, let's not even talk about the bucket of plastic army men. I'll start packing for the camps now, gotta find my shovel first.
 

I like pitted dates? Is that significant?
 

Anyer Marx is your memory that short that you

A significant date? That would have been with Roxanne. It was love at first sight. I still have the receipt ....


 

Quote:

"Type a significant date in your life?"

Leanne "Leo" Palumbo. 1972. She warned me she had Mono but did I care? Nope. One wild night left me sicker than a dog for over a month. The dangers of teen romance.
 

Quote:

What was your favorite toy when you were a child?
Toys? They are allowing toys in communal nurseries now? And allowing children to pick favorites, instead of spreading wealth around? Well, I never! Or is this trick question, to find peoples who were given kapitalistic contraband when they were young? Peoples, perhaps even, who may still be hiding same away to corrupt other youngsters? Hmmmmmm????
 

Comrade Putout

you-know-my-name-is-may.jpg

There is a lime in that coconut, and I just threw up.
 

According to my friend frank who works at Google (where Kathleen Subhuman and her minions store a backup of all of our files and the Annotated Census) the top answer to "What is your favorite cuisine?" is "Lean".
 

Favorite radio station:
One that plays Comrade Otis's Marching Harmonica Army Orchestra

Favorite toy when I was a child:
Hammer and popsickle

Favorite cuisine:
Beet vodka. Anything goes down with it

Type of a significant date in my life:
Composite
 

Comrade DeKoquonut -

I wish you had posted the actual (unmolested) screenshot with these security questions. Some comrades on Facebook are questioning the fact that they are real.

Visual proof is always good to have in case of a show trial. You never know.

Anyway, I got curious and checked it out on healthcare.gov myself.

This is an actual screenshot with yellow arrows next to your favorite questions and a red arrow pointing at the last one that I think takes the prize (among other things, it's misspelled): "What is the nick name [sic] of your grandmother?"



The latter will only work for those citizens whose grandma was a member of a gang or a subversive organization aiming to overthrow the government.



How about "Yelling Yelena"?
 

Favorite toy when I was a child? We were so equal when I was a child that if I hadn't been a boy I wouldn't have had anything to play with.
 

GSG, you are such a wanker.
 

My grandma's nickname was "Knuckles."

She got that nickname after a healthcare officer once asked her about her favorite toy.

She could carry two logs on each shoulder, backwards, five miles uphill through the snow, and that was just by the 7th grade. When she grew older, the men she married didn't last long unless they had a robust health plan.



 

Our comrades on Facebook are now offering their answers:

- My grandmother's nickname was Scarface.
- Edna "no snitches" Grabowski
- Haha....mine was Killer Makwinski and my favorite childhood toy was a hatchet!!
- The name of my favorite pet is "Stabby." He's a unicorn.

___________________________

I wonder if in addition to answers we could also offer an alternative list of questions.
 

Mrs Red Square, has your Grandmother considered a career as a proctologist for an ObamaCare exchange?
 

.
.
Question: What is your favorite possession?

Mrs. Scratchanitch: My new ring... it's a cubic zirconia.
.
.


 

Lyman DeKoquonut was feeling ill when he

There is a lime in that coconut, and I just threw up.
.
.


 

Ivan Betinov

Mrs Red Square, has your Grandmother considered a career as a proctologist for an ObamaCare exchange?
My Grandma kicked ass, not inspected it.
 

Dammit! Who leaked the list of questions Barbara Walters will be asking Obama when she interviews him the day after Thanksgiving?

And who thought it would be really cute and funny to tack on that one about the manager's name at his first job? Obama never even had a--oh, wait. The answer's David Axelrod, isn't it?

But did you really think if you leaked those questions onto the healthcare.gov site, that no one would ever get far enough to see them and--oh, never mind.
 

Gonna be sick



 

Of course some would question the authenticity of the text, how could anything Glorious Leader is associated with ever be less than perfect?