‘Students of color' conference at University of California reportedly dissolves into a fight over who is most oppressed

Is glorious day Comrades!

Opening ceremonies concluded and moved to the first days tournament of Greco-Roman debates. Head Judge Louis Farrakhan has his work cut out for him, as the competition for the most oppressed will be a toss-up between the blacks and the Muslims.

All eyes are watching the hot race for the Brown Bronze award. Will it go to the Southern California Latinos, or the Orientals who still haven't forgotten that whole FDR internment thing...

Safe spaces are packed, pronouns are on the table, and all bets are off! Who's most oppressed?

Let's get ready to RUMBLE!

I am putting my money -- or, rather, money obtained from the rich 1% in the interest of fairness -- on the category "left-handed red-haired differently-abled lesbians with Hispanic surnames and size 9 shoes."

Comrade Ivan: That won't do. That won't do at all. Everyone participating at these Games will get a medal just for showing up. Everyone is a winner by being a self-professed loser. Yes, that is a coherent idea. All leftist ideas are coherent by virtue of being leftist. You must correct (korrekt) your lapse in judgment -- bronze medal indeed -- otherwise you must report immediately to the re-education center. You have been warned.

Card Sharks......

Is there a thing like "oppression doping" on these olympics? Brown tanning cream or something? Are there penalties for using "oppression doping" or "oppression enhancing drugs"?

wow ‒ Victim Olympics, finally a big-time thing!
but ‒ only CA? even smaller: only Irvine, CA? UCI only?

c'mon, spread it GLOBALLY! hey ― .IOC? .UN? .Kalorama-2017?

Right. We're all just animals in the forest of plenty and those animals over there have been keeping us from our fair share of the forest's plenty.

No, we're denied more of our fair share of the forest's plenty by those oppressive animals than you! We deserve more!

No, you're wrong. We're the animals they've really been denying all the fair share!

And meantime in reality, we aren't different species of animals we are all human beings, civilization isn't a public commons like a forest and those people are demented to the point of insanity.

Crazy commies. Life is too short to give much thought to people that deny basic humanity and turn themselves into animals.

SUNDAY!
SUNDAY!
SUNDAY!

ALL-OUT OPPRESSION BRAWL AT THE SNOWFLAKE BOWL! WATCH YOUR FAVORITE FIGHTERS:

QUEERBOY!
BLACK ICE!
SUICIDE BOMB!
TRANS-MISSION!
FAT MAN!
THE "IT"!
XIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE!

AND THE ALL-NEW WOLFMAN HACK IN A 5-HOUR WALL-TO-WALL HUGE BINKIE SUCKING CAGE MATCH! WHOEVER TAKES A NAP OR CRIES FOR THEIR BOTTLE FIRST IS THE MOST OPPRESSED! PREDICT THE WINNER BEFOREHAND AND GET A FREE RACE CARD, EVEN IF YOU'RE WHITE!

TICKETS ARE JUST 2 BUCKS! THE FIRST 500 PEOPLE IN GET A CASE OF BABY FOOD TO TOSS AT THE FIGHTERS! EVERYBODY GETS A FREE T-SHIRT AND UNLIMITED AMOUNTS OF ROTTEN TOMATOES TO THROW AT THE FIGHTERS! FOR A 100 DOLLAR DONATION TO THE SALVATION ARMY AT THE GATE YOU GET A BUTTON TO PRESS THAT RELEASES A UNITED STATES ARMY DRILL INSTRUCTOR INTO THE ARENA TO HARASS THE FIGHTERS FOR A FEW SECONDS! 250 DOLLARS AND YOUR BUTTON WILL RELEASE A MARINE DRILL INSTRUCTOR!

BE HERE OR BE A STRAIGHT WHITE MALE!

I don't understand. Wouldn't those who get beaten up in this scuffle be thereby the most oppressed - and win the competition, which they quite logically cannot possibly win because they are the most oppressed? And those who beat everyone up become the oppressors and thus lose in this competition, thereby qualifying as the most oppressed?

I think we are witnessing a space-time paradox here, similar to what happens when you go into the past and beat up your own younger self with a shovel upside the head. Should that happen, the world will come to an end, and this is what we are witnessing right now. The End of Days, otherwise known as Trumpocalypse.

I'm now convinced that all paradigms in the Universe had shifted and allowed Trump to win because these Californian students created a time-space paradox by competing for the title of the most oppressed.

None of this would have happened had they followed the People's Cube definition of "competition" as outlined in the People's Glossary:

Competition

Barbaric, insensitive ritual steeped in social Darwinism. We cannot allow the fittest to survive in our society. Your loss is someone else's gain, and your gain is someone else's loss. Therefore, losers contribute to the society and winners take away from it. Being a winner is unethical, while a society of losers is happy, moral, and prosperous as a collective. A progressive society of the future, steeped in diversity, inclusiveness, and collectivism, shall have no winners. Everyone will be a loser, which in our book means ethical team player.

If they had only played with the Red People's Cube more... I can't stress enough the importance of this educational tool for the growing minds!