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People's Progressive Nursery Rhymes

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The appalling and not progressive nature of Mother Goose and similar collections of nursery rhymes has inspired me to start rewriting them to fit the more modern, progressive world of Several Tuesdays Ago.

Hickory, dickory, dock,
The commissar started up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The executed criminal fell down!
Hickory, dickory, dock.

The People's Army go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching one by one,
The political officer stops to denounce someone
And they all go marching down to the platform
To get onto the train, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The People's Army go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching two by two,
The political officer stops to reeducate you
And they all go marching down to the platform
To get onto the train, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The People's Army go marching three by three, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching three by three, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching three by three,
The political officer stops to find what thoughtcrime there might be
And they all go marching down to the platform
To get onto the train, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The People's Army go marching four by four, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching four by four, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching four by four,
The political officer stops to listen through a door
And they all go marching down to the platform
To get onto the train, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The People's Army go marching five by five, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching five by five, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching five by five,
The political officer stops to proclaim the Revolution is alive
And they all go marching down to the platform
To get onto the train, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The People's Army go marching six by six, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching six by six, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching six by six,
The political officer stops to search for enemy tricks
And they all go marching down to the platform
To get onto the train, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The People's Army go marching seven by seven, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching seven by seven, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching seven by seven,
The political officer stops to announce that there is no heaven
And they all go marching down to the platform
To get onto the train, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The People's Army go marching eight by eight, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching eight by eight, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching eight by eight,
The political officer stops to shoot those who are lat
And they all go marching down to the platform
To get onto the train, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The People's Army go marching nine by nine, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching nine by nine, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching nine by nine,
The political officer stops to speak the party line
And they all go marching down to the platform
To get onto the train, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The People's Army go marching ten by ten, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching ten by ten, hurrah, hurrah
The People's Army go marching ten by ten,
The political officer stops to announce that socialism will win!
And they all go marching down to the platform
To get onto the train, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!


Old Comrade Prole was an indoctrinated soul
An indoctrinated soul was he.

He dug for the Party,
He dug for the motherland's soul,
And he dug for the commissars three.

There, three new progressive nursery rhymes is a good start, is it not comrades?

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Very Good Comrade, How about this one.

Old Prole Hubbard went to the cubbard to get her old dog a bone.
But Chairman Obama made it Illegal to feed bones that were not government approved to dogs, and who are you to be wasting food,
many comrades could have made soup from that bone.
But the Goreical said that boiling water could release greenhouse gasses, so fires were made illegal,
The bone was from farting cattle so it was confiscated. so all the Proles starved to death including the old Woman,
neighbors who were starving tried to eat the dog,
but Peta showed up killed the neighbors and the dog....

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Excellent, Comrades. What do you think of this one?

The prole went through the gulag
The prole went through the gulag.
The prole went through the gulag.
To see what he could see.
To see what he could see

But all that he could see.
But all that he could see.

Was Thought Criminals being Purged.
Thought Criminals being Purged.
Thought Criminals being Purged.
Was all that he could see.

Mary had a little beet, it's skin was red as blood
And everywhere that Mary went hell followed with her as she struck down the
ungrateful rethuglicans with her mighty sword.


Twinkle twinkle little prole, how I wonder where you go
Do you toil in the fields till dark with your shovel you hold to your heart.
Is your shovel bright and shiny, like Michelles extra large hiney?


 
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