Comrades, After much litigation and no small amount of bribery, and with the approval of the People's Director, my record has been expunged and shredded and made into compost (or so I paid for...)

My identity as Tovarichi as part of the witness protection program is no longer needed. My name is restored to and shall henceforth be Ivan.

I will consider changing my photograph, but I kind of like the flask, and the left handed salute...so I'll have to see something I really like before that happens.

This further removes any confusion between Party Officials and my accusers between me and the innocent "Comrade Tovarich" who hangs out with Pamalinski.

As an "overachiever" the title of Stakhanovite or Stakhanovets (стахановец) is more appropriate and commensurate with my duties maintaining the People's Tractor and here at the People's Cube.

Tractor Barn #2 will continue to operate as a gathering place for political discourse and fermented light refresments as always.


Let us move FORWARD toward Next Tuesday™ and Spasebo for your understanding and comradeship!

Ivan

I will proceed under the assumption that Ivan also hates squirrels.

And who's to stop me or anyone else from confusing you with Ivan Betinov? I mean, aside from the fact that HE has a brain? And a jar? Mayhap the fact you have a hat and he doesn't?

Didn't it ever occur to you that if YOU didn't hang around Pamalinsky so much, you wouldn't always be confused with Comrade Tovarich?

You know what I think? I think you're really doing this because people no longer buy whatever pap you push, so you believe the solution is to change your name--but not to change or improve the pap--in hopes that maybe then people will like your pap without realizing it's just the same old crap.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote: As an "overachiever" the title of Stakhanovite or Stakhanovets (стахановец) is more appropriate and commensurate with my duties maintaining the People's Tractor and here at the People's Cube.

Tractor Barn #2 will continue to operate as a gathering place for political discourse and fermented light refreshments as always.

Yo, Tovarichi.... uh .... Ivan .... I've been meaning to speak to you about the tractor.


And one more thing ....." Light Refreshments "?

.

In token of which, we, the comrades of Engineering Unit 643, do award, ah, what's his new name, with this "Medal of Excellence for Contributions to the Party."

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Let us move FORWARD toward Next Tuesday™ and Spasebo for your understanding and comradeship!

I quite understand the name change, comrade. After all, I think many of us would like to forget last Tuesday. Dear Leader who?

Comrade Putout wrote:.

find-tovarichi.jpg

HA! Those hounds are on the wrong trail from the start! I never wear those things...



Dearest Pinkie, Let our Government try marketing Global Warmning Climate Warming Climate ChangeSpringtime with flowers and bunnies, it's not my job. We all know you care...

As the great Commander of our Naval Forces (not Commodore Snoogie, this guy here) so famously said;

"I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam..."

You folks have a most equal Cubic day...

Since all names are most equal names I guess it doesn't matter what we call you (as long as we don't call you late for dinner Ha ha ha ha - I kill me sometimes )

So is this a new 5year plan and I will have to think again in 5 years when you change your most equal name again?

darski wrote:...(as long as we don't call you late for dinner Ha ha ha ha - I kill me sometimes )

Ahh, the classics never get old!

well, except Fraulein Frankenfeinstein, she's been looking pretty rough this past season...

darski wrote:Since all names are most equal names I guess it doesn't matter what we call you (as long as we don't call you late for dinner Ha ha ha ha - I kill me sometimes )

So is this a new 5year plan and [highlight=#ffff00]I will have to think again in 5 years[/highlight] when you change your most equal name again?

No, no, thinking is unauthorized ... unless mandated by the State, and then the State will distribute the appropriate "thoughts."

As for me, I will attempt to remember Comrade Tovarichi's Ivan's new name, but there is little room left in the storage area since my last Jiffy-Lobo.

Now let's just wait a Lenin-pickin' minute here. All this talk, talk, talk about some Comrade changing his name is simply misplaced. It's like holding an election without His Obamaness on the ballot. It can't happen. That's why the recent election was NOT about choosing senators, or representatives, or governors. It was about Dear Leader's policies. He himself said it himself: "Make no mistake, my policies are on this ballot."

So, this re-naming of this comrade is not about what he wants to call himself or what we want to call him--and I could think of a few things--but rather about what the proper name for a good comrade IS.

I am pleased that the Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Tovarichi has chosen the correct name. Unlike the American voters, bunch of ungrateful Kulaks that they are, the A-F-K-A-T has in fact elected to be called Ivan. Ivan is a good name, a powerful name, a name to conjur with in the light of our dung fires, late at night, after we have sung the old songs.

In fact, I think that His Obamaness should take up his mighty phone and stick it in his pocket, and his mighty pen and stick it in his ear, and bring forth an executive Ukase:

1. All male children born shall bear the first name Barack from this day forward.
2. All male Party Members shall bear the name Ivan from this day forward.
3. All female children born shall bear the name Michelle from this day forward.
4. All female party members shall ask Pinkie's permission to call themselves Pinkie from this day forward (Ivan ain't no fool, and Ivan knows the power of the shovel).

I thought Barack was having all male children under the age of two brought for a Womyn's right to choose medical care at Planned Parenthood, after those three Inspectors General from the East failed to report back to him the location of the newborn Bush...

.
Comrade Tovarichi (...and this will be the last time I utter that name!),

I went to the range this morning and found a way to get you out of my mind - I met a new guy!

His name is Wall Swat, an odd name indeed but he has the patches to prove it - and he is hunky!

After this picture was taken he introduced me to 7.62 caliber ammo - a step up from your 5.56 and Craptek's .22 caliber!

You will all be pleased to know that I am resting comfortably!

May

Yep, caliber matters...

.
Ivan (...oh I can't believe I said it!!),

Please don't get rid of the hat!

Comrade Putout wrote:.
Comrade Tovarichi (...and this will be the last time I utter that name!),

I went to the range this morning and found a way to get you out of my mind - I met a new guy!

His name is Wall Swat, an odd name indeed but he has the patches to prove it - and he is hunky!

After this picture was taken he introduced me to 7.62 caliber ammo - a step up from your 5.56 and [highlight=#FFFF00]Craptek's .22[/highlight] caliber!

You'll all be pleased to know that I am resting comfortably!

May

Former Comrade Putout,

That's .220 Swift, if you don't mind!

Jilted

Aw gee, Tovi! What am I supposed to do now? What name can I now use as an affectionism to address you?

Ivan is a hard name to "affectionize."

Maybe I could use Ivanovichi. Nah, too Japanese (which I may use, regardless). Ivan the Terrible? Well, I'll only use that if you cross me.

One thing I can tell you though, if you change your avatar I will never speak to you again! Ever! I have spent many years enjoying this image and love it! (I may forgive you if you are really nice to me) After all, it is your avatar.

I searched and searched the archives of humanity and found mine, some lithograph of Russian grouped royalty. I honed in on her face and found ME!

I love my avatar and would never change it! Ya gotta stick to your guns, if you'll pardon the expression. You know, about guns, and all. Eh, eh.

Another thing, (if you actually read the "affectionism" link I included), you owe me!

First of all, I sent you a reply to your message to me, it's in the Laika observed PM's did you see it? I'd like to know that you did.

Additionally, now that you're part of the "elite" power guys, can you help me get back my "bounce back to my email" service, provided by The People's Cube? I know Comrade Red is very busy, he has so much to do these days, but things I post do not return to my email so I can reply. I have to hunt for them.

This started when I made the "Mother Page."

Can you help?

Thanks so much for your support and wonderful interaction!Love, Pamski

.
Ivan the Stakhanovets (...Oh my Lenin that is so freaking hard to type and there's always a little red squiggly line under Stakhanovets - there it is again damn it!!!!) begins his search for a new avatar while safely ensconced in his personal 'Phallus of Silence.'
.
.

What happened on Liteiny Prospekt stays in Leningrad.

I can believe what Comrade Putout wrote:.
Ivan (...oh I can't believe I said it!!),

Please get rid of the hat!

=

Share the warmth comrades.

I was initially annoyed by your last name, Stakhanovets, until I looked it up.

It does suit you but, it is still annoyingly Russian. We speak English here. I know you and Comrade Red conspired to come up with this silly last name. I mean, I think Commissar Ivan would've been fine. What's wrong with that? I warned you about people's comprehension deficits, but, Noooooo! You didn't listen. Noooooo! Has to be Russian!

Good luck with that.

Good Lenin, this is getting weird.

Pamski, does anyone call you Pamalinski the singer of classical music residing in the Midwest? Is it not who you are?
Make the stretch to Ivan... You can do it. Tovarich Ivan works too...

The avatar suits my military background, ill hang on to it, but I do like what Putout is doing to me.
(I think I've wanted to say that for some reason...)

Red Square assisted with grammatical correctness, and even suggested Ivan the "Hard Worker" but I didn't want the site to deteriorate to pornographical more than it does now.

Never fear, Tovarich Ivan, I am still your friend! I am so proud of you! We're all just giving you a hard time because we love you! XXX!!! Didn't mean to be so harsh.

O!X!
Pamalinsky

[quote="Ivan the Stakhanovets"]Comrades, After much litigation and no small amount of bribery, and with the approval of the People's Director, my record has been expunged and shredded and made into compost (or so I paid for...)

<<purged for brevity as useless personal absorption>>

As an "overachiever" the title of Stakhanovite or Stakhanovets (стахановец) is more appropriate and commensurate with my duties maintaining the People's Tractor and here at the People's Cube.

Tractor Barn #2 will continue to operate as a gathering place for political discourse and fermented light refresments as always.

Let us move FORWARD toward Next Tuesday™ and Spasebo for your understanding and comradeship!

Ivan[/quote]


Inspiration from the most committed to Next Tuesday leads an old Japanese beet pickler to also change his name. Foaming hydraulic fluid also impacts future maturity of the tractor industry.

Trout

.


...oh he comes with a hat!



I just thought of something - if you change your avatar...

what will I do with all of these little Tovarichis?!!


I will bite this cord if you change your avatar!!

Comrade Ivan,
My silly admonishment of your change of avatar was a rather hamfisted way of saying how much I love it. Any changes you make are up to you, of course, and, shucks, I will love them, too. ; • )

Before making any rash decisions, please consider the well being of our Comrade Putout. She has invested much in your image.

Forward!

Comrade Ivan,

We knew your name from the get go.(interesting fake name choice)We had to cover your tracts least the capitalists knew your whereabouts. If and when the capitalists find your true name, you shall need to report back to the Director immediately.

Too late Hammer and Loupe.

Pamalinski, every damn commie in history was nicknamed 'itchy.' For obvious reasons. Just call him Itchy when you need to sound the alarm. Itchy Ivan.

You should do something with a retro soviet tractor motif for your avatar, Itchy:
(Maybe with square wheels.)

NO Comrade Putout, DON"T DO IT! (I never imagined I would ever say that....)

I'll keep the AVATAR. Somehow I'm accustomed to it.

Comrade Halliburton, as the previous decision rules out your generous offer and use of your imagery for computer usage, perhaps this comes in rolls and I can paper my wife's kitchen with such glorious image of the Peoples' tractors and arrows that point FORWARD?

Wallpaper!?? Where do you get such luxuries? I think there's more to this name change than you have been telling us, comrade.

I was convinced that the pattern was a new edition of camouflage fashion for the Workers' Army™.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:Wallpaper!?? Where do you get such luxuries? I think there's more to this name change than you have been telling us, comrade.

I was convinced that the pattern was a new edition of camouflage fashion for the Workers' Army™.

Don't worry Comrade Kangaroo, we have the people's printer. The ink comes in three colors, red, yellow, and green

Hammer and Loupe wrote:

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:Wallpaper!?? Where do you get such luxuries? I think there's more to this name change than you have been telling us, comrade.

I was convinced that the pattern was a new edition of camouflage fashion for the Workers' Army™.

Don't worry Comrade Kangaroo, we have the people's printer. The ink comes in three colors, red, yellow, and green

I'm certainly relieved to know that, comrade H & L, though I wonder if, perhaps, we are leaving out a key constituency - black. I hope this......er.......oversight is not a case of racial discrimination.........?

Hello

I am Ivan The Cube Maker.

I must go back to work.

Thank you to Comrade Putout for my avatar!

Do you need one more male friend? I will make a cube for you, very strong cube!

Comrade, where are the union laborers? Are you profiteering? There are no independently wealthy Party™ members. And what are all these luxuries that I see around your factory? Obviously, taxes are not high enough.

Why is there no portrait of Dear Leader on the wall? That is insulting to The Party™.

There are some very serious breaches of protocol evident in this picture.

From a generic "study Russian and save the world" website. So I don't know how accurate. Diminutives are Vanya, Vanechka, and Vanka, roughly. Although the "n" in "Vanka" is followed by that "soft sign" (the one that looks like a baby "b") so that somehow the n is pronounced like the ni in onion. THis is why I never got very far in Russian.

Anyway....our little Vanechka, all growed up!!!!! (Wipes tear from eye)

The thief [color=#C0392B]Ivan The Cube Maker[/color] wrote:Hello

I am Ivan The Cube Maker.

I must go back to work.

[highlight=#ffff00]Thank you to Comrade Putout for my avatar![/highlight]

Do you need one more male friend? I will make a cube for you, very strong cube!

.
First of all... you stole my Ivan The Cube Maker avatar. Just because I steal every image I use does not make it right for you to do the same to me! (...but you are kinda cute so I'll let that slide.)

I found a picture of you on the internet - are you Dennis Miller?



You sure look like him!

Then I did another search for that image and found this!



Does Red Square know about this?!

Photography by Robert Mapplethorpe? I thought he had passed? Did you have to do anything weird with that hammer?

I scaled your image down a bit but I placed a larger one in my gallery. (...don't tell me you don't want it!)

The gallery link above won't work for me (does it work for you?) so I included this link:

More Putout Images

Does Red Square know about you hawking his creation at White House social gatherings?

Oh no I did not think so!

By the way _ nice shirt. Did the Ray Charles estate have a garage sale? Ha! Burned you!

Comrade Ivan, I am also Ivan, Ivan The Cube Maker.

Do you need a another roommate? You have a nice hovel.

Does Comrade Putout live with you?

Bye