Dateline Washington DC -

President B. Husseinovich Obama today threatened to personally beat every Rethuglikkkan member of the House and Senate if they didn't get in line with his plans to raise the debt limit this fall.

"I've had about enough of this partisan Teabagger nonsense," the president warned, with a raised eyebrow, "and if the debt ceiling isn't raised to at least a gazillion dollars this time around so we don't have to keep doing this over and over, I will beat each and every one of you Rethuglikkkans with this bat."

The president then raised a finely honed and lead weighted bat and pointed it at individual Rethuglikkkan members of Congress.

"That's right," the president growled with a tone of authoritative and imperial menace in his most masculinely deep and presidential voice, "and I know exactly who to start with."

Chris Matthews reported from the briefing that he felt tingles go up BOTH of his legs, coming together and culminating in a - well, let's just say Mr. Matthews had a very satisfied look on his face for several seconds and was momentarily speechless.

Now that's what I call a bitch of a pitch. Or is it the other way around, the pitch of a bitch?

Isn't that Moo's bat? Barry gonna be in trouble if he does not have that back in the nightstand rack at Moo's bedtime!