Proggie Personals: Looking for Men!

Male Comrades,

Are you ready to finally meet and commit to the proggie girl of your dreams? Looking to enjoy wedded bliss like this happy go lucky guy?



Well fret no more!!!!!! Here is a fine selection of ladies that are looking for some quality male prog hunks to settle down with.

First up Edna Crabapple:



Edna is a crusty Vegan and spends most of her time at the local grocery store hanging out at the frozen pizza section passing out literature and lecturing customers not to buy these evil corporate processed food products. Honest and straight foward, there is just no holding the anchovies with Edna, as she is a firm believer and vegan activist, who no matter how you slice it is going to give you all of her toppings on the subject. She's not looking for some cheesy one night stand, but her soul-mate. Could that be you?

Next up............Mona Moonbatts



Mona is an avid Obama supporter and lover of the fine arts who just has recently received a stimulus grant check to further her artistic ambitions. Isn't it wonderful that our tax dollars, instead of going to that horrid industrial military complex are now going to progressive artists like Mona instead for accordian goat dancing. Mona would love to share her good fortune with a proggie man of her dreams, a man who can appreciate goat dancing and unicorns. Mona also makes a mean glass of kool-aid when not jamming on her squeeze box. Could you be that fellow?


Ready for our next babe? Meet Sally Orcano.



Sal's into saving the ocean. Doplhins and whales is what makes this proggie babe cry. Sally says ever since she was a little girl that she has felt a kindred spirit with whales and has dedicated her life to communing with them in the ocean. Though serious in her pursuit to help save the whales she is also on a quest to find her life long land partner, someone who would like to chew the fat on how Bush and those evil rethuglikkkans were able to cause that oil leak in the gulf of Mexico that made Obama look so bad. Sal's waiting for Mr. Left to come a knocking on her door!

There you have it boys, time to fill up your dance cards with this fine selection for this month.
 

What gloriously interesting new gulag gals, you have found, Comrade Woogums. I can see Eda and Sally giving us a real run for our money stimuli checks!

But I find myself drawn to the wed gentleman, who is so full of sensitivities and deep feelings. Whhhy, I can just picture curling up with a bag of Cheetos & bean dip (NO OFFENSE COMRAD CHEDOH!) and watching Gone With the Wind Obama TARP Funds or perhaps, Thelma and Louise Nanski: After the Vote. Sharing a hankie and snugly evening. I think I already have a tear!
 

Here's some more cuties.

Betty Bullhorn



Greta Getsome



Sally Psycho



Sonia Somber



btw: has anyone seen Mrs. Al lately? I hope she hasn't fallen victim to one of those Predator drone attacks along the Pakistan border.
 

I'd like to submit another one, Sarah Progson.
Enjoys whining about Bush, social injustice, and her parents. Looking for someone who understands her.
 

This is a neighbor, Gilda Douready. She is a professional protester who loves to demonstrate & meet new people of like mind. Unfortunately, she oft ends up in the local hoosegow because her demonstrations are considered too "racy & aggressive". He loves dear Leader!



A dear dear friend of a friend recommended adding Frannie Freakinstein, who is a mild mannered, quiet school teacher who enjoys yoga & meditating but is "fun at parties". Her favorite pass time is writing hymns for SEIU meetings.



 

No one can forget Darla Dunknuts. Her passion to bring home our troops is only surpassed by her love of rock-n-roll and and making prank calls to Meg Whitman. It's said in certain circles that she will rock your worldview.



 

Wow! All these hotties on one page...I don't have enough skin left to blink my eyelids.
I can see I'm not gonna get much sleep tonight.
 

Look into my eyes and read my lips:
 

Let me add some more proggish bridage for your perusing pleasure in the glorious month of Red October (seen around the One Nation rally on Oct. 2, 2010).

Karla Marlo: unionized chainsaw operator at children's department of JiffyLobo. Employee of the month. Hobbies include juggling hammers and sickles. Favorite quote: "We have nothing to lose but our chainsaws."




Medusa Gorgoner: starts nicely but quickly turns nasty, curses you out, and wants to be left alone, which is also her current status. Likes long walks at proggy rallies holding hand-made signs, looking for a compatible mate.




Putineska Fartinez: likes catching suspended teabags with her protruding teeth in front of the mirror, then grinds them with multi-surfaced molars into compost, with which she later creates artistic figurines and sells them to raise money for progressive causes.




Brandy Foggybottom: victim of a horrible JiffyLobo accident in 2004, she is confined to Karl Marx Treatment Center as lab human, sharing a cage with a rabbit. KMTC scientists continue to conduct experiments on her brain, hoping they will soon make her into an ideal New Man for the New Communist Age. As a side effect, she has learned to wiggle herself through the grating, run away, and blend with the crowd at proggy rallies, where she is almost indistinguishable from all others.



 

The last statement is funny and to the point, and you are not able to protect yourself when the medical staff shows up with large needles they want to stick you with.
Some of the vampires needles hold up to 4 quarts of blood, the bad news is that it is your blood; or used to be.

Blood samples should be a more collective venture!
 

Meet Ursala She's into long hours at the humane shelter, adopting strays, bottled water, and not shaving her legs. She's looking for some progressive minded male who is also into picking up shaggy strays.



This is Helga She's a little shy but has a great personality when she comes out of her shell. She likes fried foods and ketchup. She can be seen at most beaches with like minded progs protesting to save the whales.



Meet Freida This girl has been around the block a time or two and once she was inside the vehicle. She hails back to the glorious protests of the Vietnam War. She's looking for that prog who wants a serious more mature girl. Currently she into protesting Medicare Cuts.
 

Does anyone else think Sonia Somber looks like that foreigner signer John Lennon?

I find Helga very impressive. She is a true prog, who takes her work to heart . . . not just heart, but all over. We need more Helga's.
 

Is it just me or does it seem like Helga is farting into my screen?
 

Comrade Whooie, she is being sexy. Do you not like womanly sexiness? And she is being full of sexy, womanly ways, while watching for whales... multi-task oriented. She would be a good addition to our Progdom. Unlike Comrade Ivan she could probably chew gum and talk walk at the same time. btw, do you know how Ivan is fairing after that bleach incident last week?? He was not looking so good.
 

Achtung Fraulein: About Comrade Brain in Jar....... we emptied out his tank, scrubbed him with a brillo pad, rinsed off most of the dead stuff with a power washer and then replenished his " environment " with three bottles of party-approved Stoli. He's functioning much better now.....got some of that gray back !
 

whee, Krasnodar, I feel of such relief. I was sure some one would try to blame ME for this unsightly accident of their own making, and that would not be right. We can not be held responsible for every, little tiny err and misstep we continue to make, especially while enjoying good times at the Rancho and divulging in a little merriment with vodka. Commissar Theocritus has this bad habit of passing out the spirits and blaming me us for accidents that I have no responsibility for.

It is good he is getting some color back (is that OK???? to say color???!!). We can all hope he will be able to continue as before and not have that terrible stutter.
 

I have found three more such damsels seeking of good mens.....the third only wants one that will not make her do things she does not want to do....again.....even if it IS his birthday!
 

Angelina Jolie (not a real name). Prefers like-minded male comrades who believe there isn't an obstacle in the world that can't be overcome with sufficient amount of vodka. Favorite tune: "We shall overcome." In her spare time likes to raise awareness about the dangers of STD and the misguided beliefs that there exist cases in which all the vodka in the world may not be enough.



 

Medea Benjamin




Founder of Code Pink: Women for Peace

Loves partying with as many young hot progressive guys as she can get! Get her while she's hot!
 

Comrade Fratboy in the picture there is apparently wearing very strong beer contacts.