Proggie Personals: Looking for Men!


Are you ready to finally meet and commit to the proggie girl of your dreams? Looking to enjoy wedded bliss like this happy go lucky guy?
Well fret no more!!!!!! Here is a fine selection of ladies that are looking for some quality male prog hunks to settle down with.
First up Edna Crabapple:
Edna is a crusty Vegan and spends most of her time at the local grocery store hanging out at the frozen pizza section passing out literature and lecturing customers not to buy these evil corporate processed food products. Honest and straight foward, there is just no holding the anchovies with Edna, as she is a firm believer and vegan activist, who no matter how you slice it is going to give you all of her toppings on the subject. She's not looking for some cheesy one night stand, but her soul-mate. Could that be you?
Next up............Mona Moonbatts
Mona is an avid Obama supporter and lover of the fine arts who just has recently received a stimulus grant check to further her artistic ambitions. Isn't it wonderful that our tax dollars, instead of going to that horrid industrial military complex are now going to progressive artists like Mona instead for accordian goat dancing. Mona would love to share her good fortune with a proggie man of her dreams, a man who can appreciate goat dancing and unicorns. Mona also makes a mean glass of kool-aid when not jamming on her squeeze box. Could you be that fellow?
Ready for our next babe? Meet Sally Orcano.
Sal's into saving the ocean. Doplhins and whales is what makes this proggie babe cry. Sally says ever since she was a little girl that she has felt a kindred spirit with whales and has dedicated her life to communing with them in the ocean. Though serious in her pursuit to help save the whales she is also on a quest to find her life long land partner, someone who would like to chew the fat on how Bush and those evil rethuglikkkans were able to cause that oil leak in the gulf of Mexico that made Obama look so bad. Sal's waiting for Mr. Left to come a knocking on her door!
There you have it boys, time to fill up your dance cards with this fine selection for this month.


But I find myself drawn to the wed gentleman, who is so full of sensitivities and deep feelings. Whhhy, I can just picture curling up with a bag of Cheetos & bean dip (NO OFFENSE COMRAD CHEDOH!) and watching Gone With the


Betty Bullhorn
Greta Getsome
Sally Psycho
Sonia Somber
btw: has anyone seen Mrs. Al lately? I hope she hasn't fallen victim to one of those Predator drone attacks along the Pakistan border.


Enjoys whining about Bush, social injustice, and her parents. Looking for someone who understands her.



A dear dear friend of a friend recommended adding Frannie Freakinstein, who is a mild mannered, quiet school teacher who enjoys yoga & meditating but is "fun at parties". Her favorite pass time is writing hymns for SEIU meetings.




I can see I'm not gonna get much sleep tonight.




Karla Marlo: unionized chainsaw operator at children's department of JiffyLobo. Employee of the month. Hobbies include juggling hammers and sickles. Favorite quote: "We have nothing to lose but our chainsaws."
Medusa Gorgoner: starts nicely but quickly turns nasty, curses you out, and wants to be left alone, which is also her current status. Likes long walks at proggy rallies holding hand-made signs, looking for a compatible mate.
Putineska Fartinez: likes catching suspended teabags with her protruding teeth in front of the mirror, then grinds them with multi-surfaced molars into compost, with which she later creates artistic figurines and sells them to raise money for progressive causes.
Brandy Foggybottom: victim of a horrible JiffyLobo accident in 2004, she is confined to Karl Marx Treatment Center as lab human, sharing a cage with a rabbit. KMTC scientists continue to conduct experiments on her brain, hoping they will soon make her into an ideal New Man for the New Communist Age. As a side effect, she has learned to wiggle herself through the grating, run away, and blend with the crowd at proggy rallies, where she is almost indistinguishable from all others.


Some of the vampires needles hold up to 4 quarts of blood, the bad news is that it is your blood; or used to be.
Blood samples should be a more collective venture!


Meet Ursala She's into long hours at the humane shelter, adopting strays, bottled water, and not shaving her legs. She's looking for some progressive minded male who is also into picking up shaggy strays.
This is Helga She's a little shy but has a great personality when she comes out of her shell. She likes fried foods and ketchup. She can be seen at most beaches with like minded progs protesting to save the whales.
Meet Freida This girl has been around the block a time or two and once she was inside the vehicle. She hails back to the glorious protests of the Vietnam War. She's looking for that prog who wants a serious more mature girl. Currently she into protesting Medicare Cuts.


I find Helga very impressive. She is a true prog, who takes her work to heart . . . not just heart, but all over. We need more Helga's.








It is good he is getting some color back (is that OK???? to say color???!!). We can all hope he will be able to continue as before and not have that terrible stutter.






Founder of Code Pink: Women for Peace
Loves partying with as many young hot progressive guys as she can get! Get her while she's hot!

