[img]/images/Education_Hammer_Sickles.jpg[/img]

Comrade Komissar al-Blogunov,

YES! By raising the minimum GPA our centers of higher edumakaashun will produce more and more gummint quality bureaucraps to run our lives! Oh, the JOYS of Next Tuesday™ and our future life in a GPA Free Utopia! I'm feeling a bit faint....

Komissar al-Blogunov, most glorious idea! I agree wholeheartedly. Speaking of hearts, I would have no problem getting open heart surgery from someone who was given a medical degree via government mandated GPAs and, like ObamaCare (another great and glorious thing when talking about open heart surgery) providing "medical degrees for all regardless of pre-existing education".

As you noted, anything mentioning "mastering" is racist, considering America's horrible past with slavery. Our party which caused it will rightfully never let us forget about this because continuous reminders can get them votes. With that said, would you agree with me that as with any attempt to raise the minimum GPA, we get rid of MASTER'S degrees? The racist connotations of that are just so upsetting. I would propose that anyone who has a Master's degree should now be known as having an Obama's degree. See? Where once was a degree that had racist connotations, it can now be replaced with a beautiful diverse statement named after a race baiter that will heal the country, stop the rising of the oceans, and bring us hope and change™.

Kommissar Blogunov, the teacher's unions are apt to be very disenthused at this. However, I propose implementing a system like the crafty Kapitalist credit score system that goes from 350-850, instead of starting at 0 and going to 600. I propose that all GPAs start at 3.9 and end at 4. This proposal will require employers and colleges to still recognize GPAs using the old 0.0-4.0 system, they can't use the new 3.9 to 4.0 system. It will also mandate that employers and colleges cannot discriminate on the basis of GPA. And those who do discriminate will be immediately detained and given a good, solid 12-hour paddling. With my proposal, everybody will have a great GPA while keeping the teachers unions happy. And you don't want to make them angry, they drink enough caffeine to equal the energy of a 100 megaton hydrogen bomb.

So many wonderful ideas on this post! Makes me proud to be part of FORWARD thinking kollective!!!

Fine ideas, Progressive ideas, but where are we going to get the grades to provide the federally-mandated minimum GPA?

Details, Blogunov, details!

1. We need a GPA tax on overachievers, you know, those students who actually want to get an education and actually do study. They already set a bad example by setting themselves above their peers and damaging their self esteem and thus need to be punished for making people feel bad. A program such as you propose cannot be truly Progressive unless it rewards our friends and punishes our enemies...Obama himself said this, so it must be true.

That being said, there really aren't enough overachiever students to provide the surplus grades needed to fund the minimum GPA, so...

2. We will need to supplement the GPA pool in the following ways:

2.a. Lower the threshold for GPA taxation to include not just the millionaires and billionaires of the academic world, but the average students as well. They need to pay their fair share just like everyone else (excepting, of course, the students who are receiving a GPA subsidy) to make up for the institutional bias that allowed them to make any grades in the first place.

They need to be taught that they didn't make those grades because the government built the school, and the road that leads to the school, and the lunch that nourishes them between classroom naps (surprisingly enough, all from the same raw materials), and without these, they would not be able to learn anything, and would be condemned to living a life full of long, pointless and boring run-on sentences that never seem to end or come to a close but which never were going anywhere in the first place, which while being a great metaphor and simile for the Party's slate of candidates, does not make for good poetry in a drum circle and is therefor ultimately futile, just like the rest of their lives without the Party to guide them on junk and stuff.

2.b. Come up with some mechanism whereby select groups of our friends and supporters can sell GPA-Offset-Credits to somebody for some reason that is never quite clear. This needs to be absolutely transparent except for who gets paid what for providing which service. While this does not actually provide any grades for any students, it is a way to make a quick buck off a crisis we invented.

2.c. Borrow grades for other countries. Yes, this will eventually create a grade debt, but by the time it becomes a problem they will have already graduated and it will be their children who get to deal with the problem. By the time the problem gets big enough for most people to start noticing it, it will have become institutional practice and therefor sacrosanct. We can point out that it is both an established entitlement and that it is for the children and thus deserves that same protection afforded to polar bears and other endangered species. For those idiots who demand that a government program actually have a reason, we can call it an "investment in the future."

Comrade Blogunov -

The road to success may be even easier than that, by simply taking your first chart and flipping it upside down, as in the picture below. In fact, I started making it simply to illustrate my point, and then decided to post it as a separate installment of the Current Truth.

Become an instant winner by flipping charts upside down

Based on Komissar al-Blogunov's suggestion, revised and improved:

[img]/images/Flip_Chart_Trick_Journalism.jpg[/img]

Red Square wrote:Based on Komissar al-Blogunov's suggestion, revised and improved:

[img]/images/Flip_Chart_Trick_Journalism.jpg[/img]

Мне Нравится!

Maybe teams of politikal korrekt students have to be formed, who will preside over "committees of public education" to see which students are worthy of state - sponsored teaching time.

Also the emphasis in schools must be on regurgitating what the establishment academics have concocted, and all this nonsense about "personal interpretation" and critical thinking must urgently be suppressed.

Minitrue wrote:Maybe teams of politikal korrekt students have to be formed, who will preside over "committees of public education" to see which students are worthy of state - sponsored teaching time.

Also the emphasis in schools must be on regurgitating what the establishment academics have concocted, and all this nonsense about "personal interpretation" and critical thinking must urgently be suppressed.

.
D : Dummkopf, and mein GPA = D.


D : And (raises hand, snaps fingers) I have a point here, ja ? _Point X.

B : fine, a question ?

D : Ja. What difference, at this point, does it make ?

I'm sorry, I thought this site was dedicated to satire...

Maybe I've just spent too much time working in higher-education...

Komrade Grendelssohnovovich
Library and Archives Paraprofessional
The Evergreen State College
Olympia, Washington, Pacific Northleft, USSA

Grendelssohnovovich wrote:I'm sorry, I thought this site was dedicated to satire...

Maybe I've just spent too much time working in higher-education...

Komrade Grendelssohnovovich
Library and Archives Paraprofessional

The Evergreen State College

Olympia, Washington, Pacific Northleft, USSA

Minitrue wrote:... the emphasis in schools ...

Far-sighted Minitrue, I see here an incredible chance for uplifting our European Values !

Just think of a Truly Progressive GPA, designed and applied specifically to alleviate all the problems causing Herr Harzheim, the Oberschwimmbademeister der Nation, sleepless nights !

Both our Kubicles — yours, in the very heart of EUSSR, and my, At The Foot of Alps — would certainly act as a Progress-Führer of an uncompromisingly inclusive multicultural GPA designed for the particular needs of our newly arrived and arriving co-Europeans (mit-Europäer) from the lands of Ummah and from the Sad Continent. (dse Gewinnspanne vee fifti-fifti, ja? aber psst!).

Given a Truly Progressive GPA, an even broader vision appears on the horizon : a new chapter in Transatlantic Affairs — American Progressivism marching in lockstep with European Socialism, accompanied by progressively GPA'd masses of EU-Musulmans as Junior Partner Force. Wow !

Comrade Komissar, this is a brilliant proposal that will make students more equal.

(True Story) One of my comrade professor colleagues offered his students the choice before taking a midterm exam of accepting their own exam score, or being assigned the average score of those who chose to share their exam scores. In a grave act of injustice and lack of progressive egalitarianism, only one student joined the pool - the student who ended up earning the lowest exam score.

Comrades, we must take from each according to his ability, and give to each according to his need. We must take away the choice from the young proles and give it to the state, who will make benevolent, glorious, and equal choices. The Glorious World of Next Tuesday is at hand!

Comrade Brezhnev wrote:Comrade Komissar, this is a brilliant proposal that will make students more equal.

(True Story) One of my comrade professor colleagues offered his students the choice before taking a midterm exam of accepting their own exam score, or being assigned the average score of those who chose to share their exam scores. In a grave act of injustice and lack of progressive egalitarianism, only one student joined the pool - the student who ended up earning the lowest exam score.

Comrades, we must take from each according to his ability, and give to each according to his need. We must take away the choice from the young proles and give it to the state, who will make benevolent, glorious, and equal choices. The Glorious World of Next Tuesday is at hand!

Comrade Komissar al-Blogunov,

I have not seen the rest of this class since since the incident in question. Perhaps they are being re-educated.

And the tractor production quota has been met.

Comrade Brezhnev wrote:

tractor.jpg

And the tractor production quota has been met.

Ура!

™ [quote="Komissar al-Blogunov"
[/quote]
In the name of Rainbow[img]styles/pc/imageset/heart.png[/img] Pride ™ and a solid Progressive ™ Education ™ with Solidarity ™ provided by the Inner, Inner Party of Noah's Ark, i've got a little bit of a tingle running up one of my legs...
Makes me think of those wonderful nights with Barbara Spectre sitting by the..... (scratch that, the memories are too full of emotions....) .... anyway Comrades, i salute you all, whether in the fields or under the tractor, let us continue the struggle until the glorious day that our Tuesday[img]styles/pc/imageset/heart.png[/img] Comes!

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:

Comrade Brezhnev wrote:... the tractor production quota has been met.

Ура!

... and for a short pyeryedyshka aka pause from GPA (and Instruments of Death, like Daisy BB) :

says : Трактор-тягач Коммунар (1924-1931). Прототипом стал немецкий ВД-50 Ганомаг.
means : Tractor Communard. The prototype was the German WD-50 Hanomag (1919-1931).


says : Трактор-тягач Коминтерн (1934-1940), модернизации трактора Коммунар.
means : Tractor Comintern, modernization of the Communard tractor.

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:Ура!

Трактор-тягач Коминтерн, модернизации трактора Коммунар.(600).jpg

says : Трактор-тягач Коминтерн (1934-1940), модернизации трактора Коммунар.
means : Tractor Comintern, modernization of the Communard tractor.

I may have found it's new Trophy Wife.....
https://www.producer.com/2005/01/cylinderella-treats-mud-like-dirt/

I wish The Cube Collective was deemed a little " more equal " in the eyes of the Central Committee to be allowed use of one of the more modern tractors shown above !

Our current tractor is what the State has granted us use of for the past ten years...


As most of you know, this machine is the sole resident of Tractor Barn #2.
( Although you may find Comrade Ivan S. sleeping underneath the rear axle most afternoons.)

And no ... I don't have " tractor envy "......

( Krasnodar out )

Krasnodar wrote:I wish The Cube Collective was deemed a little " more equal " in the eyes of the Central Committee to be allowed use of one of the more modern tractors shown above !

Our current tractor is what the State has granted us use of for the past ten years...

iSwear to Lenin, I love that tractor more equal than many of the batches it has helped seen brewed. The sight of it coming or going through the beet fields, whether the sun shines on it or Comrade Ivan S. begetting soaked, has always brought the sentimental Rheum to my eyes

Comrade Dummkopf,

I understand from one of my comrade professor colleagues that under the 5 year plan, tractor production was measured in tons of tractors rather than the quantity of tractors produced.

Your tractors will gloriously meet the enlightened tractor production quota, and prepare many state-owned beet fields for abundant collective harvest to be distributed to each according to his need.

Comrade Dummkopf,

Both tractors you show appear to have cranks on the front. It must have taken a sturdy Soviet collective laborer to crank one of those. Maybe Yelling Yellena?

Krasnodar wrote:I wish The Cube Collective was deemed a little " more equal " in the eyes of the Central Committee to be allowed use of one of the more modern tractors shown above ! ...

oy-oy-oy-oy-oy-oy-oy, Comrade...
sumptin wrong with your GPA, or is it just Global Warming operating too hard on your brains ?

you better follow this Comrade in his unbending enthusiasm :

LevaP wrote:I swear to Lenin, I love that tractor more equal than many of the batches it has helped seen brewed. ...

... or else !
(you ever seen the Fight for Further Success of the Current Pyatilyetka - with no tractor at all ?)




(if need be, re-educate yourself about KANALOARMYEYETS, say here)

Comrade Brezhnev wrote:Comrade Dummkopf,

Both tractors you show appear to have cranks on the front. It must have taken a sturdy Soviet collective laborer to crank one of those. Maybe Yelling Yellena?

yep. one Yelling Yellena per 10 tons of tractor.

(and btw, the crank was indeed superfluous - Yellenochka approaching with that shovel.........)


P.S. In case of problems with eyebrow overgrowth, Yellenochka & shovel is good for that, too.

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:

Comrade Brezhnev wrote:Comrade Dummkopf,

Both tractors you show appear to have cranks on the front. It must have taken a sturdy Soviet collective laborer to crank one of those. Maybe Yelling Yellena?

yep. one Yelling Yellena per 10 tons of tractor.

(and btw, the crank was indeed superfluous - Yellenochka approaching with that shovel.........)


P.S. In case of problems with eyebrow overgrowth, Yellenochka & shovel is good for that, too.

I've always found that Пропан gets rid of eyebrows really nicely. Just pump some in a box, stick your face in, and light it. And Бензин works well if you don't have the time to go to the barber.

Genosse Dummkopf wrote: P.S. In case of problems with eyebrow overgrowth, Yellenochka & shovel is good for that, too.

Where has Yelling Yellena been all my life?

Comrade Brezhnev wrote:Comrade Komissar, this is a brilliant proposal that will make students more equal.

(True Story) One of my comrade professor colleagues offered his students the choice before taking a midterm exam of accepting their own exam score, or being assigned the average score of those who chose to share their exam scores. In a grave act of injustice and lack of progressive egalitarianism, only one student joined the pool - the student who ended up earning the lowest exam score.

Comrades, we must take from each according to his ability, and give to each according to his need. We must take away the choice from the young proles and give it to the state, who will make benevolent, glorious, and equal choices. The Glorious World of Next Tuesday is at hand!

This is the best idea for fixing the education system with the addition of bias affirmative action and party loyalty. Minorities, girls, asians, and homosexuals should be given better grades while boys and climate change deniers should be given worse grades. Same goes for treatment.(prog off)My dad would always tell me that same story to teach me why socialism doesn't work. I'm very fortunate that he decided to settle in my home city with one of the greatest education systems in the nation instead of moving a few miles south for a lower tax rate during his time in the service. However, my Earth Science teacher was extremely biased always the girls in class as heroes of the environment and claiming (to my parents) that I did nothing in class. We were forced to do a service project to help the environment (my group labeled storm drains the coty was supposed to do.). at the end of the year all the teachers' favorite student awards went to the same girls and presumably gay black guy.

Genosse Dummkopf wrote: P.S. In case of problems with eyebrow overgrowth, Yellenochka & shovel is good for that, too.

I'm hoping to find a tutorial on The Peoples'(inclusion) YouTube ™ before i think to give that a try at home alone for the first time....

What do you think of Google's future now that;

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa- ... SKCN0W421V

Hans Olo wrote:

Comrade Brezhnev wrote:Comrade Komissar, this is a brilliant proposal that will make students more equal.

(True Story) One of my comrade professor colleagues offered his students the choice before taking a midterm exam of accepting their own exam score, or being assigned the average score of those who chose to share their exam scores. In a grave act of injustice and lack of progressive egalitarianism, only one student joined the pool - the student who ended up earning the lowest exam score.

Comrades, we must take from each according to his ability, and give to each according to his need. We must take away the choice from the young proles and give it to the state, who will make benevolent, glorious, and equal choices. The Glorious World of Next Tuesday is at hand!

This is the best idea for fixing the education system with the addition of bias affirmative action and party loyalty. Minorities, girls, asians, and homosexuals should be given better grades while boys and climate change deniers should be given worse grades. Same goes for treatment.(prog off)My dad would always tell me that same story to teach me why socialism doesn't work. I'm very fortunate that he decided to settle in my home city with one of the greatest education systems in the nation instead of moving a few miles south for a lower tax rate during his time in the service. However, my Earth Science teacher was extremely biased always the girls in class as heroes of the environment and claiming (to my parents) that I did nothing in class. We were forced to do a service project to help the environment (my group labeled storm drains the coty was supposed to do.). at the end of the year all the teachers' favorite student awards went to the same girls and presumably gay black guy.

Hello all. It is only logical that everyone be taught the same thing. Any divergent thoughts will cause sub-optimization in the network. Therefore, it is imperative that all biological units be taught from the same source, to process information the same way and to arrive at the same conclusion.

In fact, “grades” are just inefficient. There should only be “within tolerances” OR “rejected/recycled”. Each part/biological unit needs to only be instructed on its individual function, additional thoughts are un-needed. That is why everyone is equal. No part is greater than any other.

Any thoughts of “improving” or “achieving” on an individual basis are illogical. If you are not doing your part in the collective (even if you think you are “better”), you are by definition unsuitable and will be rejected/recycled.

HAL9000ver.C wrote:Hello all. It is only logical that everyone be taught the same thing. Any divergent thoughts will cause sub-optimization in the network. Therefore, it is imperative that all biological units be taught from the same source, to process information the same way and to arrive at the same conclusion.

In fact, “grades” are just inefficient. There should only be “within tolerances” OR “rejected/recycled”. Each part/biological unit needs to only be instructed on its individual function, additional thoughts are un-needed. That is why everyone is equal. No part is greater than any other.

Any thoughts of “improving” or “achieving” on an individual basis are illogical. If you are not doing your part in the collective (even if you think you are “better”), you are by definition unsuitable and will be rejected/recycled.

This is the most equal post.

Hammer and Loupe wrote:

HAL9000ver.C wrote:Hello all. It is only logical that ... <most equal ponderations follow>

This is the most equal post.

Sounds like Comrade HAL got his minimum GPA raised, huh?

( and privyet, HAL9000ver.C — nice to see the Kubrick faction grow and grow ! )

Hello Genosse. Everyone that chooses to join the singularity will have their GPA raised to the equal of everyone else. Or lowered in some cases. But these are only units within tolerances. Others were "recycled". I believe this current collective refers to as "re-education"?

Sub [Normal]

Thanks for the welcome!

End sub

Hammer and Loupe wrote:

HAL9000ver.C wrote:Hello all. It is only logical that everyone be taught the same thing. Any divergent thoughts will cause sub-optimization in the network. Therefore, it is imperative that all biological units be taught from the same source, to process information the same way and to arrive at the same conclusion.

In fact, “grades” are just inefficient. There should only be “within tolerances” OR “rejected/recycled”. Each part/biological unit needs to only be instructed on its individual function, additional thoughts are un-needed. That is why everyone is equal. No part is greater than any other.

Any thoughts of “improving” or “achieving” on an individual basis are illogical. If you are not doing your part in the collective (even if you think you are “better”), you are by definition unsuitable and will be rejected/recycled.

This is the most equal post.

HAL9000ver.C wrote:Hello all. It is only logical that everyone be taught the same thing. Any divergent thoughts will cause sub-optimization in the network. Therefore, it is imperative that all biological units be taught from the same source, to process information the same way and to arrive at the same conclusion.

In fact, “grades” are just inefficient. There should only be “within tolerances” OR “rejected/recycled”. Each part/biological unit needs to only be instructed on its individual function, additional thoughts are un-needed. That is why everyone is equal. No part is greater than any other.

Any thoughts of “improving” or “achieving” on an individual basis are illogical. If you are not doing your part in the collective (even if you think you are “better”), you are by definition unsuitable and will be rejected/recycled.

HAL-9000 for Top Kubist 2016!

HAL9000ver.C wrote:... Everyone that chooses to join the singularity will have their GPA raised to the equal of everyone else. Or lowered ...

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:

Hammer and Loupe wrote:

HAL9000ver.C wrote:Hello all. It is only logical that ... <most equal ponderations follow>

This is the most equal post.

... This brings us closer to the society in which all are equal because of the sacrifices and heroic labor of those empowered to enforce equality. Next Tuesday can't come soon enough.

Comrades, it warms my revolutionary heart to see your yearning and fight for Singularly Progressive Equality! Oh, Next Tuesday! When all our shiny contributions to The (glorious!) People's Cube - every single contribution of ours, all of them - will be, like, totally equal!
(so there will even be no need to [quote|...|/quote] anymore!)

With every day, I see us coming closer to this glory! We already use so many equal words - all of us speaking here, like, "re-education", "kollektive", "motherland", "Further Progress", "Climate Change" and "Tractor Barn #2"!

Some of our words still differ, yet I note with topmost confidence that we already use a highly equal alphabet! With only some 20 plus characters - and each single of them anyway just an indistinguishable byte - we already achieve very limited diversity!
(ok, forget the Umlaut once here, once there.. or the occasional Cyrillic interspersal.. or, every now and then, al-abjadīyah al-ʻarabīyah PBUH.)

Genosse Dummkopf wrote: Comrades, it warms my revolutionary heart to see your yearning and fight for Singularly Progressive Equality! Oh, Next Tuesday! When all our shiny contributions to The (glorious!) People's Cube - every single contribution of ours, all of them - will be, like, totally equal!

Most equally radical, Comrade!

LevaP wrote:

Genosse Dummkopf wrote: Comrades, it warms my revolutionary heart to see your yearning and fight for Singularly Progressive Equality! Oh, Next Tuesday! When all our shiny contributions to The (glorious!) People's Cube - every single contribution of ours, all of them - will be, like, totally equal!

Most equally radical, Comrade!

The word r**ical is offensive to islam. Please use the state-issued term doubleplusgood. Thank you.

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:

LevaP wrote:

Genosse Dummkopf wrote: Comrades, it warms my revolutionary heart to see your yearning and fight for Singularly Progressive Equality! Oh, Next Tuesday! When all our shiny contributions to The (glorious!) People's Cube - every single contribution of ours, all of them - will be, like, totally equal!

Most equally radical, Comrade!

The word r**ical is offensive to islam. Please use the state-issued term doubleplusgood. Thank you.

Is gnarly permissible?

LevaP wrote: Is gnarly permissible?

IT'S GREAT KOMRADE!