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Re-Educating the Schools

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As you all know, the educational system in this country is becoming vastly superior to those of... um... well, that isn't important right now. What is important is that our teachers know everything because they grew up in the 60s and gained their knowledge of the world from pharmaceuticals (which is all you really need to know). Our task as students is to make sure these teachers are taking enough of their medicine to stay in the mindset we want them to be in.

My class was given an assignment in our Economics class to write a letter to the president advising him on the current state of the economy and what may happen in the future. Here is how I keep them sharp.

Mr. President,
I have analyzed the economic indicators from several different fields and, being a puny-minded high school student with no complex knowledge or experience in that field I decided that there will be a few new outcomes in store for the future.

Firstly, poverty is increasing, and will continue to increase until you give into the will of the people and embrace the true honest values of socialism. Once you do that, all of everyone's problems will be gone. Only in a true socialist paradise can poverty be completely eliminated and everyone be granted the same social status. Just look at it working in Cuba!

Second, the overall rating of industrial production is increasing which is just encouraging the vicious spread of wealth and prosperity. Not only that, but it is harming the competition by not giving developing countries a fair chance to compete in the world market.

Lastly, this country's productivity is increasing which means that it is raping Mother Earth of more than it can give. If this process keeps up, there will be nothing left of this planet, but a smoldering pile of noxious gases and those AOL demo CDs that come in the mail.

This will most likely assure my party-approved grade of a "C". If it doesn't, then we have some re-educating to do.

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Speaking of Economics, I have to go to my class in the morning as well. But unfortunately for me, my professor is an ex-marine and long time Pentagon lackey. Ugh, why can't I live in Kalifornia... WHY!?!?

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I feel sorry for your predicament. Yes, I am truly blessed to go to a school where 99.9% of the teachers have openly admitted to students in the classroom about doing drugs in their lifetimes, and where several of them practice their "hobby" in their classrooms during the breaks.

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Well, I did have ONE socialist which was last semester. And yes, he taught "ethics" and did everything in his power to convert the toiling student class into accepting class-warfare and on demand abortion. But unfortunately for him, the student body is around 95% conservative and tried to indoctrinate him instead.

They succeeded and now he has toned down his rhetoric... *sigh*

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What a horrible ending, it brings tears of sadness to my optical sensors. These perpetrators must be hunted down and dealt with in the harshest way possible without exposing our hypocrisy.

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That is an excellent letter, Premier, I couldn't have written it better. Please keep us updated about the outcome. Will the teachers think you're mocking their noblest efforts to educate your feelings about the economy and punish you - or will they think that you are a differently gifted child who is doing his best and deserves a passing grade?

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I always found it useful myself to ask for mandatory grade re-distribution. It's just not fair that smartest 1% gets all the A's while the failing or "below average" comrades get stuck with the C's, D's and F's. I wonder how your progressive under-paid educator will respond to that plea. After all, he/she/it doesn't want to look like a hypocrite in front of esteemed colleagues and students!

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Whatever the outcome, and whatever the teachers thinkkk, this wouldn't be the first time I did something like this and made all my teachers suspicious.

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Do you ever get the feeling that your teachers are having trouble with authority? Trouble with your authority, I mean? After all they are but mere cogs in a machine that you help us keep well-oiled and maintained.

Oh the pains of having to maintain a secret identity! Imagine their surprise /dismay /panic when they realize they won't be worthy to lick your boots in the coming paradise of total equality that they so usefully help to usher?

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Yes, I humor them in school and chuckle under my breath at how little they really know.

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Premier Betty wrote:What a horrible ending, it brings tears of sadness to my optical sensors. These perpetrators must be hunted down and dealt with in the harshest way possible without exposing our hypocrisy.

There's always a one way trip to Siberia for him!!!

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THE MACHINE WIL NOT COME TO A GRIND. EDJUCATION DOES. THAT IS WHY WE HIRE AND FIRE TEACHERS AS WE SEE FIT. THE GRIND STOPS HERE.
SMERSH HEAD of KGB. sec. 9

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I thought it was impossible to fire teachers after 2 years... what with they're tenure and all. At least, that's what happens to all the ones that even the school can't stand. They just ship them from school to skool when they get sick enough of them.

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Premier Betty wrote:I thought it was impossible to fire teachers after 2 years... what with they're tenure and all. At least, that's what happens to all the ones that even the school can't stand. They just ship them from school to skool when they get sick enough of them.
EVERYONE IS ON PROBATION. Where did you get the TWO year deal from?????? In the NEW CSA you will see the difference. Comrade Clinton and I have been working overtime. Yes "OVERTIME" In my case Overtime counts by the way.
SMERSH HEAD of KGB sec. 9

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Alas, my ekonomics teacher has returned my glorious paper that will soon replace The Declaration of Independence in the Smithsonian. Her final grade that she gave it was a green "20" scrawled across the top of the paper with no additional notes. The assignment was out of 20 points, which meant I got an "A" on it. This teacher must be both rewarded for outstanding recognition of her Premier, and punished for her blatant disregard for the rule of giving out grades other than the Party Approved grade of a "C".

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Congratulations, Premier! But I'm still confused. Do you think she got the sarcasm - or did she gave you an "A" based on its face value, after scanning it briefly for compliance with a mandatory inclusion of such expressions as

- will of the people
- poverty is increasing
- socialist paradise
- Cuba!
- vicious spread of wealth and prosperity
- raping Mother Earth
- smoldering pile of noxious gasses
- AOL demo CDs

???

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I am not sure what that grade is based on, but I believe that it is based on the expressions. Otherwise, she wouldn't have a job, now would she?

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I HATE CHRISTMAS....... IT'S FOR TRAITORS.
LONG LIVE THE PARTY. HO.HO.HO.
SMERSH HEAD of KGB.sec. 9


 
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