Readying My Bank Account for I.R.S Monthly Withdrawals

Dear Comrades,

Are you self-employed? If so, you need to make your bank account ready for the I.R.S. to make monthly withdrawals. If you opt for the "Public Option" under our Dear Leader's health care plan, even though it hasn't been passed yet, you will need to make sure that your bank account has enough money for the I.R.S. to make monthly withdrawals.

As a good prog, I love the I.R.S., and I am looking forward to having the I.R.S. withdraw $500 to $800 dollars every month (or however much they need) for my Public Option Health Insurance Premium. At least I think that's how it's going to happen. The I.R.S. isn't going to send us a monthly bill, are they? Well, maybe, that's an option, too. But, nevertheless, the health insurance premium surely will be collected by the I.R.S., won't it? After all, they are the best agency in the government when it comes to collecting money.

Be nice to the I.R.S. If they pass a health care bill with the public option, you will have a closer relationship with them than ever.

Page 59 of the Health Care Bill states that the Government will have real time access to your bank account. I can only assume one of the reasons is that they want to be able to withdraw your monthly health premium if you are self employed and go for the Public Option. Flag me if I'm wrong.
 

Leninka

Page 59 of the Health Care Bill states that the Government will have real time access to your bank account. I can only assume one of the reasons is that they want to be able to withdraw your monthly health premium if you are self employed and go for the Public Option. Flag me if I'm wrong.

Actually, I think they realize that we will all be so grateful to them for passing the glorious government health care program, we will want to be able to make many many many spontaneous campaign contributions in realtime to show our appreciation to our benefactors, the wonderful permanent political class (Yay!)
 

I'll be ready and willing to make those contributions. I can't wait.

And in the glorious Progressive World of Next Tuesday[sup]TM[/sup] could it be one that all banks will be nationalized and Dear Leader will be able to profit from charging us fees if there isn't enough money in our accounts to cover what we dutifully owe? Wait, it won't be profit any more if it goes to the Glorious State.
 

The IRS and their rules make me laugh. As a self employed agitator the IRS always tries to get me to make "estimated quarterly" payments. I have no problem paying the tax on the money I make, but I don't know how much that will be until year's end. I see no point in making payments on assumed income. Especially since any over payment would not be refunded. Instead all I'd get is a tax credit voucher toward my taxes next year.

So instead I pay a 1% penalty on my tax liability for not making the estimated payments. Of course, I have a good accountant who manages to find enough lawful deductions so I generally owe the IRS nothing, zero, zip, nada. So 1% of zero is still zero.

Now if Obama's IRS wants to tack an additional 2.5% onto that because I refuse to get Obama approved health insurance, I scoff. What's 2.5% of zero? He can make it 500% of zero for all I care.

To quote comrade Ghandi, the best way to bring down a government is to starve them of tax revenue. I will do my part to put big gov. on a diet the likes of which will leave them skin and bones.
 

Comrade Whoopie,

You have brought forth a very dangerous idea: "Going Gandhi" is much like "Going John Galt." Oh, dear! How are we going to keep this idea from spreading to the evil Rethuglican tax payers? They must not find this out--that Ghandi one said that the best way to bring down a government was to starve them of tax revenue. This could derail all of Dear Leader's best laid plans. Oh, dear!
 

Never heard of Gandhi. Must not be important or my professors would have mentioned the name. But, I am thrilled to 'help the President' achieve all of his glorious ambitions, just as the children are. I look forward to never keeping a profit as my patriotic duty. The majority of self-employed would agree.
 

Comrades,

Think of those selfish expatriates who dare to submit Form 2555 (normal or EZ version), the Foreign Earned Income Exclusion form. Some think their money is their own; others think the government won't be there for them with SS, Medicare, Medicaid, free homes, etc. Public shaming and naming is required!

Why, the International Court is clearly needed.
 

Comrade Tovarich,

They should be strung up and forced to listen to three hours a day of Comrade Nanski Peloski's ranting, and then forced to live in California for at least one year.
 

Comrade Leninka,

It is a good idea. I also note that this IRS logo is the same as that of the probably now-defunct label that once hosted The Gogos. I think we can find a new prog spin on "We Got the Beat!" you into submission.
 

I wonder how Dear Leader's image would look in the Logo? He's been pointing his finger a lot lately during his speeches. Reminds me of Dear Adolf. And his finger pointing is punctuating his phrases. Now, I must admit, he kept his finger pointing to a minimum when speaking to the future workers of Amerika, but when he speaks at a press conference, or when he is angry, the finger pointing becomes more frequent.
 

Perhaps the Dear Leader is pointing out Hope™ and Change™ to the nation's proctologists. Two lines stolen (or, perhaps better said as "pirated" from a '70s Western):

1: You don't have a doctor's bag. What kind of doctor are you?
2: A proctologist. (Raises finger) Got the only tool I need right here.
 

I see. A "secret" signal to his favorite kind of physician.

Tonight, the finger came out again during Dear Leader's speech. The nation's proctologists must be very happy.
 

I am speechless with pride at my comrade's commentary!
 

Thank you, Comrade Tovarich. We must all pay attention when Dear Leader gives us the finger, I mean, waves the finger like a maestro conducting an orchestra.
 

I once read, at Forbes I believe, that the Dear Leader before elevation to progressive sainthood, was actually sub-prime if one calculated income and outlays (at their real prices). How reassured I am that someone who really knows what being sub-prime is all about is in charge, a man with comradely feelings and understanding.
 

Comrades,

How's this...



And I gave this a shot...

We Just Got Beat

See the proles walking down the street
Fall in line just watching Obama Tweet
They don't know where they wanna go
But they're Hoping™ to find

Obama's beat
Da Gangsta beat
Yeah
Obama's beat

See the kids just getting out of kamp
They can't wait for government food stamps
Drinking forties 'til quarter after twelve
That's when they fall in line

Kids got the beat
Obama's beat
Da Gangsta beat
Yeah
Kids got the beat

Um-Um music really makes us dance
Do the Prog puts us in a trance
Maxine Waters gulag will give us a chance
That's when we fall in line

We just got beat
Obama's beat
Da Gansta beat
Yeah
We just got beat
Everybody stop eating meat
We now must dance to Obama's beat
Humpin' - slapped down
Round and round and round
 

Well, I'd rather have the IRS in my bank account then those thieving capitalists bankers, who probably withdraw some of my money to fund the RethugliKKKan war machine.

Just like those greedy doctors.
 

Comrade Red Rooster,

You did it up right. What a flattering image of Dear Leader, so sexy, so powerful. Excellent rendering. Actually, is is spectacular.

Comrade Elliott,

My sentiments exactly. Finally, those bankers have stopped sending me credit card applications. Who needs credit? How annoying is that.

Oh, wait a minute, Dear Leader is in need of funds, too. No matter, he can print all the money he needs.
 

Wait a minute. . . I just had a thought (Send me to the gulag after this). If we all get credit cards, at absurdly low interest rates (for the first two months), we go out and buy, stimulating the economy, then after those two months we jack the interest rates up on those cards to astronomical rates.

When people are unable to pay it back, we apply for loans from the IRS, who we are then dependent on the government for the rest of their, their child's, and their child's life. They will be enslaved to work in the potato and corn fields for the Common Goods.
 

Commissar_Elliott

Wait a minute. . . I just had a thought (Send me to the gulag after this). If we all get credit cards, at absurdly low interest rates (for the first two months), we go out and buy, stimulating the economy, then after those two months we jack the interest rates up on those cards to astronomical rates.

When people are unable to pay it back, we apply for loans from the IRS, who we are then dependent on the government for the rest of their, their child's, and their child's life. They will be enslaved to work in the potato and corn fields for the Common Goods.

Brilliant idea, Comrade Elliott. It's just the ticket to get everyone onto the gulag plantation. I'll make sure to do my part, the sooner, the better.

My apologies for misspelling your name in the last post. A correction has been made. Please do not take it personally. It's my brain.
 

Comrade Brain In Jar may be able to help you with that Comrade Leninka.
 

Comrade Red Rooster,

Go go go! Outstanding!

Comrade Elliott,

I'll do my duty and have relatives quit throwing away pre-approved credit card applications. They will be instructed to fill them in with my signature (or a reasonable likeness thereof) and max 'em out to be bailed out. And if bill collectors come, I'll be doing them a favor by giving them a foreign trip on the public-private dime. But American Law isn't yet International Law, and neither yet gets much shrift here.

{prog off}
Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Just try grabbing my assets, Mr. US Taxman!
{prog on}
 

Red Rooster

Comrade Brain In Jar may be able to help you with that Comrade Leninka.

Comrade RR,

Thank you for that advice. You see, somewhere in my ancestry, I am related to those evil Rethuglicans Bush and Quayle. We have glitches where we spend a little too much time in our right brain. I too, have been known to spell potato - potatoe. And I often juxtapose my words.

Poor Comrade Elliott. He politely told me once before that I had failed to spell his name correctly. He is a gentleman, don't you know. Well, sometimes it takes more than one mess up before I get it right. I don't think I'll misspell it again. The embarrassment this time was too much for me, and I don't think I will be able to live with myself if I do it again.
 

Comrade_Tovarich

Comrade Red Rooster,

Go go go! Outstanding!

Comrade Elliott,

I'll do my duty and have relatives quit throwing away pre-approved credit card applications. They will be instructed to fill them in with my signature (or a reasonable likeness thereof) and max 'em out to be bailed out. And if bill collectors come, I'll be doing them a favor by giving them a foreign trip on the public-private dime. But American Law isn't yet International Law, and neither yet gets much shrift here.

{prog off}
Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Just try grabbing my assets, Mr. US Taxman!
{prog on}

Comrade Tovarich,

Just think. You could kill two birds with one stone. If you have relatives you don't like, like an evil brother-in-law, or mother-in-law, you can get their goat by asking them for their cards to max out.
 

Leninka

Red Rooster

Comrade Brain In Jar may be able to help you with that Comrade Leninka.

Comrade RR,

Thank you for that advice. You see, somewhere in my ancestry, I am related to those evil Rethuglicans Bush and Quayle. We have glitches where we spend a little too much time in our right brain. I too, have been known to spell potato - potatoe. And I often juxtapose my words.

Poor Comrade Elliott. He politely told me once before that I had failed to spell his name correctly. He is a gentleman, don't you know. Well, sometimes it takes more than one mess up before I get it right. I don't think I'll misspell it again. The embarrassment this time was too much for me, and I don't think I will be able to live with myself if I do it again.

Well, I know how to spell Elliot dangit!



... and I know just how aliens fweel, I HATE it when peeple mispell Ruhster!

It makes me CRAZY MAD! Just like those Deborah's who get pissed at being called Debbie!

I Love Little Debbie! Er... I mean that Little Debbie is a cupcake pushing capitalist!!!!
 

Comrade Leninka,

Maybe it's time to dig that ol' skippin' stone out of my pocket.