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Saints Pelosi, Garofalo & Clinton, the Saviors of the World


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Lovely graphic Comrade Leninka. Three of my favorite gals on the planet and now Sainthood? I'm overwhelmed and at a loss for words so:

I have a great music video for this occasion. Enjoy........
Vitas- "I ask all Saints" with English lyrics


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Yes, Leninka, a lovely graphic. I am going to suggest that it be made into an altar triptych for all Made Progressives to worship.

But we need holy water to make the sign of the hammer and sickle with. I propose that we use water from the lake which houses the Holy Gore's yacht, the Bio-Solar. Any water churned by the screws of his holy yacht could cure cancer. And if we're lucky, he'll pee overboard and solve all the problems of the world.

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Thank you, Comrade Theocritus,

I'm sure Comrades Nanski, Janeane and the Many Titted Empress will be pleased. The only complaint they might have is in my not listing every single one of their saintly acts, as really, they well deserve.

For now, we'll just boil it down to Saint Nanski being the saint of all creatures that do not emit carbon dioxide (as they are to be destroyed), Saint Hillary, the saint of all Castro protoges and of course, the saint of "For the ChildrenTM, and Saint Janeane, the Caucasian patron saint of all black people.


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Then that makes Hillary the Patron Saint of Axle Grease.

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Considering the stippling on the thighs of Our Many Titted Empress I would suggest that she is also the patron saint of sebum.

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Yes. That is a good suggestion. Not only does she grease the wheels of the State Department, she has enough left over for Saint Nanski's wrinkles, and Congressman Fwank's and Wrangel's hemorrhoids.

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You are characteristically generous, Leninka, about Bonnie Fwank's hemorrhoids. But there isn't enough grease in the world for them. I mean, look at the problem. He's the biggest asshole in Congress and the biggest pricks gravitate to him.

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There is another solution Comrade Theocritus. For those who might not have seen it click here.


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Okay, okay. I will stop. Again, however. It's all your fault.

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I am a Made Prog! I am by definition not responsible for my actions or what comes from them!

<b>I am a Made Prog. I by definition have no responsibility!</b>

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Okay, okay. You're right. But as I, too, am a made prog, it's not my fault either. But, with the crap that flys out of Comrade Peloski's mouth, surely, that must be the cause.

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Comrade ReverendKscribe,

As a saint, well, as close as our glorious system in the Progressive World of Next TuesdayTM gets to the definition of a saint, Nancy is Perfection with a capital P. This is not only how she sees herself, this is how she is. If she deems that people should go to jail for not buying health insurance, then it should be so, and should not be questioned. And, if an evil Kapitalist should ever say that this is not humane, that this is not the Amerika we know, then they should know that a million prog comrades will rise up to defend her, and say, whatever Nanski says shall be law.

And, Nanski will forever be immortalized in the hall of shameless facists/progressives revered members of the inner circle, and her body, like Comrade Lenin, should be embalmed and displayed forever, so that that those who visit her rotting stinking corpse body will be inspired to carry her mission forever forward.

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You're so right, Leninka. Comrade Nansky Belly Boobs is by definition right. How could she not be? She's the perfect prog. A rich woman who is used to telling servants what to do, and now she wants to tell the world what to do. What's wrong with that?

I have a doctor friend who once used her as a private attorney and said that she was good. Now he says that he wouldn't piss on her. I have him scheduled for the gulag, of course--we cannot stand for that. Because she is the Perfect Made Progressive.

Nasty, mean, dishonest, and vicious.

What's not to love?

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Yes, that's true. What's not to love. Even her lies are endearing:


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Indeed. But Leninka, in the middle of the night I have a slight problem. What if she doesn't just, and I'm gulping now, care about <i>me</i> in her lying? I know that I place all of my trust in her, and in our Many Titted Empress, and in President Zero, but what if there isn't someone who will wuv, er, love me for being just what I am? Who will take care of me? Who will screw other people just because I'm so freaking good?

What if <i>someone will look at me realistically</i>?

I don't think that I can stand that.

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Comrade Theocritus,

Rest assured that Comrade Nanski cares about you. After all, she cares about saving the whole planet, and you're part of it, aren't you? Of course she cares about you. She want's to make sure you drive in a tinier care because that will save the planet, and thus, save you. She wants to make sure that you go to jail if you don't buy health insurance, and Lord knows, there is no more caring act than that. She wants to make sure that your energy costs increase through cap and trade, again to save you.

What you need to do is get yourself a little statue of Nanski Peloski and gaze upon in, in comfort, saying to yourself, at least once a day: "Nanski Peloski, I know you care about me, because you want to save the whole planet."

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Perhaps we could replace the reactionary and oppressive crucifixes and stars of David with statues of Pelosi? The Muslim star and crescent can stay of course. They are an oppressed people, and represent Diversity(TM) and one can show their Understanding(TM) of Other Cultures(TM) by their Awareness(TM) of the rich muslim heritage.

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Yes, this is a brilliant idea, Colonel 7.62. This is a momentous time, and we are at the beginning of it all. To know that I lived in the same time as the Goracle and all of his apostles makes me fall to the floor and cry out, "Finally, finally, someone has come to save the planet!" This the religion I have been waiting for all of my life. What are the accomplishments of a Christian nation such as Amerika heretofore? Nothing! They are nothing compared to what the Goracle and Nanski are about to accomplish. And, don't forget this, every time a record cold temperature is recorded in Alaska, or Olympia, or even my filthy bug swamp, pay it no mind. It means nothing. We are on the brink of cooking ourselves to death, and we must be forever grateful that Nanski is here to save us.

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Ah, yes, Saint Nanski. For she, er, She will save us. She and the Goracle and Michael Moore are the Prog Godhead. The Skinny Bitch, the Braindead Nut and the Fat, Shrieking Shit. They will deliver us from evil. I don't know what's evil about me but I'm sure that they'll tell me.

Dear Comrade Leninka may I use inspirational image in my new myth destroying book about the birth of Jeshua? Nowhere have I found what must be truly the image of the three magi which we now know through stellar scholarly researcher Borat came from Kazakhstan. Each can ride a donkey no?

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Of course, Comrade Guyinski. This would be good use. Not only can each ride donkey, each bring gift to "The Prog that will Come" and upon that Prog's birth, each will bear gift to the newly born Prog. From Saint Hillary, he would receive a lifetime exemption from paying taxes. From Saint Nanski he would receive a lifetime supply of condoms. And from Saint Garofalo he would receive a tattoo of a hammer and sickle on his chest, so that all would know he was "The One."


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I don't recall receiving a message about your post in my e-mail. My apologies for the late response.

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Comrade ReverendKscribe, Comrade Nanski is most appropriate for position of Queen. Then she could upgrade from a meager Gulfstream Jet to flit around in, to a 747, like Dear Leader. Of course, this means the rest of us will need to drive less, heat less, and cook less to balance out Queen Nanski's carbon footprint.

On a side note, I am appalled about something I heard tonight. Dennis Miller on Faux News referred to our Dear Queen in waiting as a screeching magpie. I don't know where he would have gotten such an idea. Perhaps, Comrade Theocritus knows something, as I know he as hosted Comrade Nanski at his Rancho del Rio in this post:

Perez Hilton remakes Nancy Pelosi at the Rancho

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Oh, that was so traumatic. Do you know what Nanski's like when she's in full screech, er, throttle?

And Nanski actually has her own 757, with I believe 40 business-class seats, a private bedroom, and an entertainment center. This is where they get naked, rub each other with Mazola, and tear up copies of the Constitution.

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Yes, Comrade, I can't wait for them to pick me up in the dark of the night. It will be fun to see them saw through my Jimmie Proof bump proof triple tooth rod iron door lock. Although, I suppose they could just hack a hole through an outer wall, but it might wake up the neighbors. And, as they are armed to the hilt, with trigger itchy fingers, there might be trouble.

Wait a minute, wasn't it me who first suggested canonizing dear Comrade Nanski?

Comrade Theocritus,

Mazola isn't good enough for Nanski. It must be an organic walnut or avocado oil to be acceptable on Air Force Magpie One.

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Leninka, I was using Mazola because it's corn oil, n'est-ce pas? And one of the biggest industrial-strength welfare queens if ADM, which loves corn and its subsidies.

Of course I could be wrong. And it would be only fitting for Nansky to use imperfectly rendered lard from the pork barrel.

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Oh, I see. Thank you for the clarification. I knew Comrade Nanski must have had some other beauty secret besides Botox. Nevertheless, nothing seems to work on those grasping hands of hers.

In the meantime, here is a darling photo of her:

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I hear that Nansky has on her 757 a locker for the gloves that she uses with President Zero. They're the ones that vets use to inseminate cows. They go up to the elbow and the vet puts his arm into the cow's ass, to get it into alignment.

Between this and the TelePrompTer, Lord O knows what to say.

And when Nanski withdraws her hand, it explains all that bowing.

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Is this the same type of glove Nanski Pants is going to use when she goes to reach down the throats of the proletariat to get to their wallets?

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No, Comrade Zampolit,

For that she has a pair of gloves ribbed with sandpaper, and flavored with recycled garbage from San Francisco's Fisherman's Wharf. And I think, she uses the same glove for, oh, you know, Comrade Theocritus did a post about it. You know what I mean.


 
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