Dear Comrades,

Chief Secretary for the Committee for State Security and Supreme Homeland Commissarka, Comrade Janet Leonardovna Napolitano, announced today that, despite Republican attempts to jeopardize national security and endanger the welfare of the Masses through the sequestration process, the workers and peasants of the USSA can be comforted in knowing that Party Chairman and President Comrade Barack Barackovich Obama's Personal Security Battalion (White Fortress Barracks) will not be effected by budget constraints.

The Chief Secretary stated that regular criminal investigations by the Secret Service Police will be curtailed so that no risk may come to the future of the USSA through any attempts by counter-revolutionaries and Kulaks to assassinate the Comrade President or even annoy him. By guaranteeing his security, the State will continue to be guided by his visionary leadership and profound compassion for the Proletariat.

Citizens will help share the struggle for the security of Comrade Obama by being patient during airport searches and long waits for essential services. Until the reactionary minority of the Republicans surrender their resistance to Progress in the People's Congress, the Party has warned citizens that they will endure even greater inconveniences.

The Party encourages that workers and peasants to form their own ‘Sixth Columnist' organizations under their local Community Organizers to voice their displeasure with Kulak resistance to higher taxes and greater collectivization as mandated by the Party in the interest of justice and fairness. Civil disobedience in Republican-held areas is also advocated by the Party.

However, citizens are expected to continue to cooperate with all searches, pat-downs, body-cavity examinations, and all other lawful instructions from Transportation Security Administration officers and other State Security organs. Loyal citizens know that their cooperation is essential for the good order of the Community, and how important it is that Party leadership receives proper security protection by the Secret Police for the good of the State.

Protect the People by Guarding Party Leadership! End the Suffering of Americans by Defeating the Republicans!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

Newly-assigned POTUS Chief of Security, accompanied by unidentified apparatchiks, covertly photographed during post-sequestration briefing held on White House Kremlin West Lawn.

One wonders how much the Columbian Prostitute Exotic Dancer Lobby had to donate for that concession from Napoleonitano?


No doubt de-funding met stiff resistance from agency members.

Comrades,

I for one am glad that the White Fortress militia has been made part of the two thirds of the budget that is off limits to seCAstration.

Josef Bideninski is suspect as being a member of the Gang of One. His accession to the Chairmanship could cause Right Deviationism to take hold.

Strengthen the union of the American People and the Democrat Party!

End the Suffering of Americans by Defeating the Republicans!