Comrades! In keeping with Marshal Pupovich's bold vision of the world next Tuesday, I am anxiously awaiting my own personal financial bailout from KKKapatalist America. By this time next Tuesday, I will be the proud recipient of the Peoples Bailout For the Greater Good.

You see, comrades, I am simply too big to fail. That is right, with my ¾ acre of land in the Peoples Republik of Massachusetts, my wife and child, two cars and clients in 5 states, there are simply too many people wrapped up in my financial sphere if influence for me to go under. This may not be true of most of you but some people are simply more important that others and for the greater good of all, I must be bailed out.
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Now I know a lot of other companies sold off their bad mortgage debt a few years ago because they were actually smart enough to realize that the serfs who make only $24,000 a year could not afford a 6-million-dollar a year mortgage, and these “fiscally responsible” companies actually sold these loans off at a loss to reduce their exposure to such bad debit, but to the I say, “Sour Grapes!” What we need is more rules and regulations like the Obamasiah endorses.

For example, nobody told me that this mortgage thingy I have actually has to be PAID by ME EVERY MONTH!!! Those evil capitalist pigs. How could they not tell me this! As I said before we need more rules to protect “the children” and make it impossible for business to do anything.

Letting a few businesses go under because they are too stupid to run a smart business will not create a chilling effect on other businesses to clean up their act. We need more businesses and people to make stupid decisions, go bankrupt and then take the bailout without ANY consequences whatsoever to them or their business. Only then will we be truly free under the glorious red flag of socialism. When we are all equally poor and stupid, then we will truly be free.

Congratulations on your bailout. Obamunism is a beautiful thing. Oil companies make profits, confiscate them! Evil oil companies. Banks lose money, take the bad paper off their hands! Nice banks.

Obama '08
Mass hysteria, one idiot at a time.

Ted State wrote:When we are all equally poor and stupid, then we will truly be free.

Well said, Comrade! If Socialism cannot raise the bridge, then it will lower the river! If Party cannot raise the lower class up to level of upper class, then it must flatten upper class with huge mallet of Progressivism until upper class is flatter than the waffles Obama was not allowed to finish; in this way, all will be equal! Party will shortly be revealing plans under which every family which is NOT currently drowning in mortgage and/or credit card debt will be forced buy homes, cars and waffle irons until their bank accounts cry "Uncle Joe". It is only fair! How dare these people practice fiscal responsibility and save for their future when other comrades are trying as hard as they could to shovel money out window! When our glorious Revolution succeeds, all will be broke! But we will all be equal!

Opiate of the People wrote:If Socialism cannot raise the bridge, then it will lower the river!

This will be right after the Obamessiah lowers the seas and heals the earth.

What is this, how dare someone promote financial responsibility. That person who makes 24k per year deserved that 6 million dollar home. As well he should have a private airplane to go with that house.

Those horrible capitalist pigs, the ObamaMessiah will soon teach them!!! Not to mention the Goracal will collect for carbon credits.

I admit comrades, when I read the title of this thread, I thought for a minute that Teddy was shitfaced and underwater again! I mean, we'd have to "bail him out" because he's alot fatter than the last time, and I don't own a winch!

We do need People's Winches, in case Teddy drives off the road again.

Pinkie is the only People's Wench you'll ever need, comrade. The words "sturdy" and "stalwart" come to mind. And "Massey-Fergusson."

Comrade Betinov, I have considered the logic of this, and you have a point, Teddy already comes with his own hot air, and if Pinkie can do as excellent job of blowing as you imply, we would be able to use him as his own flotation device!

Quick, hide this technology before the capitalists steal it and try to sell it back to us!

Ivan Betinov wrote:Pinkie is the only People's Wench you'll ever need, comrade. The words "sturdy" and "stalwart" come to mind. And "Massey-Fergusson."

Comrade Betinov, Pinkie is very sensitive I would be careful what a Comrade compares her too. Right now Pinkie is somewhat angry at me for torturinghaving a talk with a toothless clown who was attempting to romance her.

So far I found a statute of Comrade Lenin (Влади́мир Ильи́ч Ле́нин) slammed through the wall in to my office in the The Kremlin. My Zil was flipped on it's side. I first though is was

the work of my good friend General Mousey-Tongue

, trying to help a comrade get a new car via insurance fraud. But the Shovel stabbed in the windscreen, indicated Pinkie's handy work. Further when my Comrade Marshal Pupovich, came by to give me a ride home, he notice scratched in to the paint "Pinkies hand writing" Saying she loved Festius, and we could all go F@#% ourselves.

So you can see angering Pinkie is never a good thing. I suggest you send her some flowers and a 50 pound bag of pork rines, otherwise........... Use your imagination Comrade.

Comrade Betinov, I have considered the logic of this, and you have a point, Teddy already comes with his own hot air, and if Pinkie can do as excellent job of blowing as you imply, we would be able to use him as his own flotation device!

I have implied nothing regarding our beloved comrade's ability to move air. The only comparision I have alluded to is traction.

Community Organizer wrote:I admit comrades, when I read the title of this thread, I thought for a minute that Teddy was shitfaced and underwater again! I mean, we'd have to "bail him out" because he's alot fatter than the last time, and I don't own a winch!

We do need People's Winches, in case Teddy drives off the road again.

BAHAHA Not THAT kind of bail out. Now that is funny. Made my day!