I don't want no Democrat messiah. It seems the Times of London isn't ready either.

Timesonline wrote:He ventured forth to bring light to the world
The anointed one's pilgrimage to the Holy Land is a miracle in action - and a blessing to all his faithful followers

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

Meanwhile the tribe of the media gives him money as if he were Jim Jones, another noteworthy democrat with an enraptured following from a bygone era.

Putting Money Where Mouths Are: Media Donations Favor Dems 100-1

Historical Note: As despised Republicans are by Democrats, Democrats cannot point to a single Republican among Jones' followers who drank the Kool-aid. All 700 plus were Democrats with a few English nationals along for the trip. Jim Jones was a high flying community organizer, praised by Jimmy Carter and given awards and grants for his work giving people hope.

El Marco (not a disciple of anyone except maybe Churchill)

Thank Allah they are seeing the light in Londonstan.

And what light might that be, Red Bubba? The light of racism? The light of imperialism? The light of Capitalism?

How dare this arch-reactionary scribbler befoul the pages of the Times-on-Line with this pathetic attempt to defame the Lightworker as he binds the factious tribes of Earth into a single family of humankind, without borders, without sickness, without strife? How dare this fumbling poltroon besmear the internet with this ridiculous ridicule of the Enlightened Being who is even as we speak healing Mother Gaia Herself with his mere presence? How dare this drooling lackwit hack question the serene wisdom of His Obamaness?

More importantly, how dare YOU, Red Bubba, applaud this unprovoked attack on the character of this, our last, greatest hope?

I think that if you know what is good for you, you will report to the Karl Marx Re-education Center for some ideological purification. And pray to Lenin that Pinkie doesn't have the duty tonight.

You mean he was being sarcastic?
I am a worm.

Here is a little journalism from bild.de
In about 1/2 hour, BHO turned the crank on the bike 3 times, did ten whole sit-ups, and did one set of possible curls, and one set of impossible (with his toothpick arms) curls.

Do you suppose the Germans are just playing along and laughing to themselves like we do here at the mill collective when big city reporters come around asking about bigfoot?

"I worked out with Obama!
He curled 32 kilo dumbbells next to me +++ Barack is top fit +++ He didn't sweat at all
By Judith Bonesky
As thousands waited at the Sieges Saule monument in Berlin to hear Obama's sensational speech, a BILD reporter met Barack all alone – in the gym! Here's the incredible account of Judith Bonesky's meeting…

It's 16:02pm and I've been training in the gym of the Ritz Carlton hotel in Berlin. A man in a suit approaches me and says: "Barack Obama is about to come and train ...“ Shortly after half past four and he actually arrives! Barack Obama is wearing a grey t-shirt, black tracksuit bottoms – and a great smile!

"Hi, how's it going?“ asks Obama in his deep voice. My heart beats. "Very good, and you?" I say. Obama replies: "Very good, thank you!"

Obama (with toned arms and a strong back) puts on his headphones for his iPod to listen to pop music. He hums quietly. Then he jumps on a fitness bike. He pushes three times on the pedals – but then can't be bothered with it.

He goes and picks up a pair of 16 kilo weights and starts curling them with his left and right arms, 30 repetitions on each side. Then, amazingly, he picks up the 32 kilo weights! Very slowly he lifts them, first 10 curls with his right, then 10 with his left. He breathes deeply in and out and takes a sip of water from his 0,5 litre Evian bottle.

Shortly before five o'clock Obama comes over and sits directly next to my cross-trainer on the mat. First he does 10 sit-ups, then stretches. Then he looks at his watch and says to his bodyguard: “It's time, let's go.” Quickly I ask: “Mr. Obama, could I take a photo?”. “Of course!” he answers, before asking my name and coming over to stand next to me.

“My name's Judith” I reply. "I'm Barack Obama, nice to meet you!” he says, and puts his arm across my shoulder. I put my arm around his hip – wow, he didn't even sweat! WHAT A MAN!
"

El Marco wrote:I don't want no Democrat messiah.....

El Marco (not a disciple of anyone except maybe Churchill)

What sort of imperialist war mongering agent for the Bushitler do we have here? Clearly you are in desperate need of a shovel and some "quality time" at the Karl Marx Re-Education Center. Please follow the guards to your left and your right, yes, the ones with the AK-47's pointed at you, your family, your pets.

Y'know, Marshal Pupovich, perhaps you should steal a page from act on the intiative provided by Commissarka Pinkie, and establish a similarly prestigious award for those who faultlessly point out the ideological shortcomings within the collective. Why, you could call it the "Marshal Pupovich 'Watchdog of the Week' award!" The winner could get a Xeroxed certificate and a pass exempting him/her/it from the second torture re-education session (but not of course the third or subsequent) at the KMTC.... Thus the selfless, dedicated members of the collective who detect a comrade straying from the path and gently correct their mistake can be recognized by something other than a squeaky-clean glass jar.

Yes, Comrades, perhaps El Marco could use a "vacation" at the Karl Marx Treatment Center. There he would learn the Truth about the Messiah and not be swayed by Neo-cons and the agents of Bu$Hitler.

Perhaps Marshal Pupovich could take some time from his many duties and give this comrade a mental examination to see if he's suffering from "Vodkov's Syndrome". Then Marshal Pupovich could perform corrective surgery to help this needy comrade's mental state.

Judith Bonesky wrote:He goes and picks up a pair of 16 kilo weights and starts curling them with his left and right arms, 30 repetitions on each side. Then, amazingly, he picks up the 32 kilo weights! Very slowly he lifts them, first 10 curls with his right, then 10 with his left. He breathes deeply in and out and takes a sip of water from his 0,5 litre Evian bottle.

I'm getting hot and bothered reading this passage, Comrades. I can feel tingles -- deep and exhilerating tingles -- shoot up my leg in orgasmic bliss.

Judith Bonesky wrote:He breathes deeply in and out and takes a sip of water from his 0,5 litre Evian bottle.

Sweet Stalin on high! In and out, Comrades! Evian bottle! Ugh. I feel faint, Comrades! Air! I need air! Ohhh!

Ohhh! Yes... I can feel it now. Yes, my bowels are slowly releasing the club sandwhich I had for lunch yesterday with Harvey Weinstein and... here it comes... yes, I can now feel the steamy excrement run down my legs.

Comrades, I have just soiled myself!

El Marco wrote:I don't want no Democrat messiah.

Nyet! This is double-plus ungood thinking, comrade! Your telescreen may have permanent impairment if this is not corrected!

Messiah = Religious concept
Religion = Opiate of the People

Oh, wait.... I am Opiate of the People. Never mind.

Kool Aid, Kool Aid,
Tastes Great!
Wish we had some,
Can't Wait!
- Chairman Mao

Oh Chairman, how I would love to help you out of this predicament, but I er... have an important fund raiser I simply have to attend right now. That's my Zil blowing it's horn right now. I believe the Commissarka is free, and she could use a little bit of People's duty to get her head out of the clouds following her makeover. Got to run Chairman.

So what happened after she put her arm around his hip?

"Oh, Barack . . . let me stand before your Victory Column . . . no, let me kneel . . . ohh Barack . . . let us tear down the walls of desire and passion throbbing and pulsating between us, and come together . . . this is the moment . . . Yes, We Can! Oh yes, Barack . . . make your triumphant entry through my Brandenburg Gate, where my Goddess of Victory is ready to topple from the fierce urgency of now! Ohh, here it comes, the tingle up my leg! MY LEG! MY LEG! Ohhh-bah-mah-god!"

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Ohhh-bah-mah-god!"

O, Bama! Maybe he IS the new JFK.

Somehow Comrades I feel that I should make a Pilgrimage to the foot the soon to be deemed (Mount Obama) Capitol Hill.

Where I could fall to my knees, and hope to be blessed by the Prophet Pelosi, Reid, or even the Double secret Prophet Kennedy or Kerry.

Perhaps I could be chosen to be one of the disciples of the Obamamessia. Ahhhhhhhhhh

Ok I have to get back to tracking down thought crimes.......Anyone want to rat someone out?

This would be the perfect time for Marshal Pupovich to get those who don't want Obama, and are voting for McCain but are hesitant about it. iViva El Partido!

Comrades, I have just soiled myself!

Sorry Chairman, SMO is still on sabbatical. You'll have to clean up your Obowelma movement yourself.
Here's your single ply, one square sheet of Sheryl Crow mandatory triple used once recycled TP.
Use it wisely and remember to dispose of it in the Hillary self-composting toilet of history.

Try not to cry.
If you really need help, Pup will assist you at the Change station in the Men's room at Sardi's. That is where you are dining, correct?
Nothing but the finest for the Chairman.
Don't let Harvey help you.
Remember the last time you went to the Change station, Harvey pulled the velco a little too tight on your Depends and your nose turned blue?

WTF is a "sandwhich"? Have you been attending skool again?

WTF is a "sandwhich"? Have you been attending skool again?

Remember, comrades: Spelling counts. Always use the proper term: "sammich"

I beg your pardon Laika, since being moved up to Marshal, the Chairman needs to call on his current office help... which would be....er.... who was that I shared the office with? Oh yes, that would be Commissarka Pinkie.

Laika wrote:Remember the last time you went to the Change station, Harvey pulled the velco a little too tight on your Depends and your nose turned blue?

I remember all too well, Laika. Sardi's removed my caricature after I ran out of the bathroom crying and pissing all over the other patrons. I remember the terror on the faces of the Olsen twins as my golden showers drenched their garden salad.

My Stalin... the terror. Well, I have been banned from Sardi's ever since.

Laika wrote:WTF is a "sandwhich"? Have you been attending skool again?

WTF is "velco"? I'll see you in class tomorrow, Laika.

WTF is "velco"? I'll see you in class tomorrow, Laika.

It's like velcro only with more cowbell.
You got banned from Sardi's? I'll have the Pup make a few calls and we'll take care of that. Nerve. What do they think they are, a private establishment?
You're entitled and you have rights! Especially at the finer eateries.

If you're still hungry, I have a half eaten Arugula sammich from the Obamessiah himself. It has been said that one bite from the Holy Sammich and it cures leprosy, heals the sick, gives sight to the blind, awakens the dead, and tightens a loose, weak anal sphincter.

Here, have a bite and toss away your Depends and be cured!
Of course you won't have that tingley feeling running down your leg anymore.
It's your choice, but The Party™ highly suggests it.
Wash it down with some Barack Berry Kool-Aid.

You mean: Put their money where their noses are

Laika the Space Dog wrote: You got banned from Sardi's? I'll have the Pup make a few calls and we'll take care of that. Nerve. What do they think they are, a private establishment?

Now that is a task I am quite proud to undertake on the Chairmans behalf. The weasley manager of Sardi's was most reluctant to grant the Chairman's most reasonable accomodation needs... that is until I showed him pictures of some children suspended over a vat of Hillary dtippings by but a thin, fraying rope. He seemed to have recognized them. Any way, once I explained to him how his cooperation would be For the Children™, he actually broke down crying and agreeing to whatever the Chairman requires.

Chairman I would beam with pride if you would allow me to bring the weasley manager of Sardi's in for a little Torture conversation. We here at the KGB and the FSB are distressed someone would willfully vandalize caricature of our supreme leader.

Further we at the bureau will no longer order Sammichs for lunch from them. I believe this manager would be well suited for a shovel and some cold weather.

If Pup's phone call doesn't persuade the bourgeoisie capitalist manager at Sardi's, Pinkie has agreed to come down of her ledge and form a spontaneous protest in which of course we'll need three weeks to plan.

Oh, and Chairman, don't toss away those Depends just yet, I forgot about the "Crap Cannon" at our Denverberg Rally.

Oh, and Chairman, don't toss away those Depends just yet, I forgot about the "Crap Cannon" at our Denverberg Rally.

So Senator Kennedy will be recovered enough to address the Convention? Wonderful news, Comrade!

That Chariman Meow suffers from a bit of anal leakage now and then is a forewarning of worse things to come. The presence of a bloviating Kennedy in the same sphere as The One would place Camelot alongside Scamalot...sort of like matter and antimatter combining. This would be bad for the planet. Very bad.

If Al Gore hears about this possible disaster, he will undoubtedly lose control of his sphincter muscles as well...and lead a reflexive release previously unseen by peoplekind. A lot of $#it happening...



THERE'S A KIND OF FLUSH
(Apologies to 'A Kind of Hush')

There's a kind of flush...all over the world, tonight,
all over the world, you can hear the sound
of bowels relieved...
You know what I mean,
Just the sight of them, hunched over the pot all day,
this Movement is good, they say,
all over the world you can hear the sound
of bowels relieved

Now listen very carefully,
just one square of paper now,
you know what I mean...
this Charmin's^TM a dream

The only thing that we must fear
is a shortage of Depends, my dear,
Who knew that the Times
would finally be useful...

There's a kind of change,
all over the world, tonight,
all over the world you can feel the hope
of clean underwear...
You know what I mean,
Just the Chosen One, alone he can heal our plight,
he'll keep all our sphincters tight,
all over the world you can hear the sound
of bowels relieved

There, I feel better getting that out. Toilet seat a big 'O'...coincidence? I think not!!!

And one can only imagine the carnage when the brown note sounds in Denver.

[Karakter Off]

By my ancestors, I apoligize for my crude and immature words.

Then again, they are no more crude or immature than Obama's understanding of the world we live in...

The dual subjects of Obama and bowel movements, together on this thread like a large and small intestine, has me thinking of a scene in the movie The Last Emperor, where little Pu Yi goes pooey in a pot, and one of his hangers-on takes it and--and--oh I can't believe I'm even typing this stuff.

Anyway, I'll bet there are plenty of people out there who would love to--if you'll pardon the expression--hold that position under Obama.

Judith Bonesky would, I'm sure. "Wow! His doesn't even stink! WHAT A MAN!"

I was about to curse my cheap non QuickTime player for not playing your sound thingy Comrade Cat.... but then I see there is a problem on your end apparently...

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