U.T. Austin anti-gun protest advocates "Cocks, not Glocks"


Cocks NOT Glocks, Antis Bring Dildos to College, Protesting Concealed Carry
Austin, Texazistan -- the protest of one legal weapons system is fought by illegal open carry of another. Using a dildo as a defensive weapon could classify it as a “club,” which, under Texas law, is illegal to carry in public and constitutes a felony if carried in campus classrooms.
War on Women and anti-"rape culture" advocates have yet to comment on the public practice of self-identifying those who possess and therefore are most likely to use these implementations of protest.
Firearms enthusiasts are reaching out to achieve a compromise with an offer to show the anti-gunners how to shoot, if the anti's will show how they use their weapons, with the goal of a happy ending for all.
Films at eleven will be rated X, under 18 not admitted.


You are quicker on the draw than I, so my countless hours of research and preparation must now comprise a mere post on your more-timely thread, but I have an update you have not yet found -- na na-na na-na !
Headline:
College students strap dildos to their bags in "Campus (Dildo) Carry" (a.k.a. "Cocks Not Glocks") protest against Texas law allowing students with "Concealed Carry" permits to carry guns on campus. #CocksNotGlocks

Caption: Leader of protest says: "In the event of a crazed-shooter attack, I can quickly insert my dildo and at least know I'll die in orgasmic ecstasy." #CocksNotGlocks
Please take note, Comrade Ivan, that these law-abiding protestors intend to engage in the lawful use of dildos and NOT an unlawful, criminal use (such as using them as clubs) because each of them acquired their dildos after extensive Universal Background Checks and completion of NOW courses on dildo safety and lawful use. The next thing you know, the Right Wingers will be demanding Dildo Control.
UPDATE from Hillary Ready in 2016:

Caption:
Update: Hillary supports "Concealed Dildo Carry" Protests but says "It would be better to have an ObamaCare-provided orgasm-inducing implant more easily and quickly activated by an ObamAnhk Emergency Amulet." #CocksNotGlocks
--KOOK


As Dear Leader (PBUH) teaches us, we only use enough of the beet to make the poorly informed think they know they are being fed...

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Dear me. The entire female population of an ultra-liberal campus toting strap-ons.
But since the male population of UT-Austin is almost entirely majoring in Modern Prance, how does this differ at all from the status quo ante?



As depicted above, Texas police found a Smith & Wesson "Cock Not Glock" concealed in the vagina of a "Cocks Not Glocks" protestor in a campus protest at the University of Texas at Austin. Obviously, she preferred #GlocksNotCocks over #CocksNotGlocks (even though the gun she concealed actually was a Smith & Wesson rather than a Glock).

--KOOK



#CocksNotGlocks
--KOOK


The largest ... cockerel Nanny Ogg had ever seen had settled on Mrs. Gogol's shoulder....
"My word," she said, taken aback. "That's the biggest cock I've ever seen, and I've seen a few in my time."
Mrs. Gogol raised one disapproving eyebrow.
"She never had no proper upbringing," said Granny Weatherwax.
"What with living next to a chicken farm and all, is what I was going to say next," said Nanny.






Ivan - how 'bout a Saturday-night-blue-ball-special?!
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I know... just another Saturday night for you!
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Rosie (B.C.) [Before Cock]
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"And Johnson went with his brothers Peter and Willie to the village of Calilee. And did they go to the inn and purchase a room for the night. And stroked they with clean fingers one-another. And all three did moan, and groan, and cry out in agony, until they smoked cigarettes afterwards and fell into a deep sleep.
When the glorious light of dawn arose, they then journeyed to the coastal town of San Franzereth, which they were guided to by a single rainbow-colored star in the night. And did they purchase yet another room at the inn of San Fanzereth. But, unlike their past ways, they journeyed to the Heaven on Earth Gentlemen's Club across the way. And did they look upon with unclean eyes such pure sights. And they cried out in pure amazement and sheer ecstasy.
One of the angels approached brother Johnson. And entered they the back. And Johnson had several moments of pure thrill. And did Johnson exit the back, and come back to the front. He did tell his brothers of his new journey. And Peter and Willie begged the angels on bended knee for an experience in the back equal with that of their brother. But, they did not accept them. And so they were cast out by bouncers bearing wooden clubs, and brother Johnson was told to leave.
But, brother Johnson said verily unto they, that the sex sucked. And did he proceed back to their room in the inn, where stroketh he unto himself with the same tenacity of that which the Blessed Angel did unto him. And was he walked in upon by his brethren, right as he threw his seed upon the ground.
But, in this very moment, his two brothers did know that their firearms were useless. And did they cast them away through the window, and they were hence known as the Holy Glocks of Peter and Willie.
And did they receive the wisdom from Providence that their own cocks were the same as their exiled glocks. For both the cocks and the glock spit out flaming-hot projectiles. And do they both refuse to work sometimes. And do they both need more care and work as they get older. And did the two brothers fall to their knees and cry out in sadness. And did they then tell their brother of their newfound wisdom.
And did he proceed to proclaim unto the world this new wisdom, at a gathering called Woodstock in the village of New York. And gained he many disciples. But, alas, they had no more wine or weed. And did they come to their new leader saying "We need more wine and weed dude. And can you get us some doritos?" And so he said "I shall give you the wine and the weed, but I cannot bestow upon ye doritos, for the recipe is a trade secret." And so he did perform his first sexual miracle. Stroked he until he did reach a point of no return, and did the projectiles from his cock transform into wine for the congregation. And was this wine plentiful enough to fill ten oil tankers. But they were not pleased, for they had no weed. And so did he stroketh himself once more. And when the projectiles did emerge, they were normal, but they turned everything they touched into mile-high plants of weed.
And all present were amazed. All present were astounded. All present were high and intoxicated. But did this much for Johnson, for it gave him the opportunity to form a company selling suckers of cocks, for they did know that the sucking of the cock was a most holy act after he did perform the miracles. And was that company known henceforth as S.C. Johnson."



The Texas Longhornies cheer Alumna Jessica Jin for Showing them how easy it is to conceal carry (dildo) on campus in their #CocksNotGlocks (Cocks Not Glocks) campaign against crazed shooters.

No CDC statistics have yet been developed on the extent to which publicity about female students on the campus conceal-carrying dildos may attract more crazed concealed-penis carriers to the campus, but in the interim, there are proposals to make the campus a "Penis Free Zone." When asked to comment on this campaign and proposals, Hillary Clinton said it involves "Hard Choices."
--KOOK


#CocksNotGlocks Cocks Not Glocks Campus (Dildo) Carry
--KOOK