Comrades,

In 1960 we set the goal of beating the Russians in putting a man on the moon, but now we are poised to lose an even more important race by failing to keep up with technological advances by our comrades in Russia:




In order for us to avoid becoming locked-out of the Global Collective, I'm ordering NASA to at least catch-up with the Russians within the next ten weeks by a crash program to "Put a MOON on the MAN." I'm sure all loyal comrades already know that "MOON" stands for "Miniature Orbiting Orbs Network" and "MAN" stands for "Minds And Neurons."

This program must be completely operational for thorough testing no later than 10 October 2010 to allow adequate time to complete placement of at least 360 million MOONS in invisible orbit around 360 million minds within the United States well before 2 November 2010.

Having refused to let Russia beat us to the Moon, we cannot now suffer the humiliation of allowing ourselves to be Left behind in the race to make The Common Good a reality for all Citizens of Earth.

However, given the austerity budget I imposed on NASA for the Collective Good, it is imperative that all Comrades with technical expertise quickly volunteer their opinions, suggestions, etc. in order to provide a wide margin of error for us to complete this project on time and within the budget.

--Fearless Leader

Wasn't there a movie along these lines? They had a group of psychics in a tank full of green liquid. These psychics were able to see crimes committed in the future. The Thought Police then went out and arrested the criminals before they committed their crimes. They were then sentenced for the crimes they were thinking about and placed in prison so they couldn't commit the crimes. Rather ingenious system I thought. Anybody remember the name of the film?

Grigori E.R. wrote:Wasn't there a movie along these lines?...

Minority Report, but there was a major flaw in the title--
They forgot to use the correct letter "o" in the original posters but now that mistake has been corrected:


--Fearless Leader

Well, what did you think? How else are we ever going to implement our glorious system without an effective routing out of thought crimes? There is no other way.

Leninka wrote:Well, what did you think? How else are we ever going to implement our glorious system without an effective routing out of thought crimes? There is no other way.

You are so right correct, Leninka. How else can we identify those needing speech-therapy in the Thought-Crime Gulag?



But we need more assistants because our Warden is already working overtime even though the MOON on the MAN program program won't be operational for another ten weeks.

--Fearless Leader

Dear Fearless Leader,

I'm already on the job at NASA. As you can see in the picture you posted, I'm already applying speech-therapy to the NASA Thought-Criminal who posted this obscene mockery of our MOON on the MAN program




Fear not-- soon our MOON on the MAN program will identify the rest of the thought-criminals in his clandestine group of disgruntled NASA enginners still subscribing to the capitalist hogwash tha we should again put a Man on the Moon when we've already done that.

Why does it have to be man? Why not a woman? Why not a man who became a woman and is now a single mother on foodstamps? Why not an asteroid on the single mother on foodstamps who is saving up for a sexual reassignment surgery in order to be able to earn the same amount as her oppressive male overlords? This thread reeks in counterrevolutionary crimes against humanity, the people, and the children. I denounce everyone a part of this thread. Racist all!

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Why does it have to be man? Why not a woman? Why not a man who became a woman and is now a single mother on foodstamps? Why not an asteroid on the single mother on foodstamps who is saving up for a sexual reassignment surgery in order to be able to earn the same amount as her oppressive male overlords? This thread reeks in counterrevolutionary crimes against humanity, the people, and the children. I denounce everyone a part of this thread. Racist all!

Chairman Punchenko,

Here I am, just having been let out of the Thought-Crime Gulag on probation for good behavior after my guilty plea in my Show Trial, and one of the first things I read makes my eyes water with what can only be described as an involuntary-reflex form of Thought-Crime, for which the correct psychiatric term is laughter, one of the greatest thought-crimes of all since jokes are always unequal because someone must be the "butt" of the joke.


Speaking of the butt of a joke (out of context, however) ...

.

I guess I'm destined to be sent back into the Thought-Crime Gulag again. I hope no one uses a Cube stun-gun on me.


--KOOK

This reminds me of somebody, but I can't remember who.

(help a comrade by offering suggestions)

KOOK wrote:

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Why does it have to be man? Why not a woman? Why not a man who became a woman and is now a single mother on foodstamps? Why not an asteroid on the single mother on foodstamps who is saving up for a sexual reassignment surgery in order to be able to earn the same amount as her oppressive male overlords? This thread reeks in counterrevolutionary crimes against humanity, the people, and the children. I denounce everyone a part of this thread. Racist all!

Chairman Punchenko,

Here I am, just having been let out of the Thought-Crime Gulag on probation for good behavior after my guilty plea in my Show Trial, and one of the first things I read makes my eyes water with what can only be described as an involuntary-reflex form of Thought-Crime, for which the correct psychiatric term is laughter, one of the greatest thought-crimes of all since jokes are always unequal because someone must be the "butt" of the joke.

I guess I'm destined to be sent back into the Thought-Crime Gulag again. I hope no one uses a Cube stun-gun on me.


--KOOK

You come with Janet now, comrade Kook. Daah, Janet have moon to show on your face. Janet ate crayons today which is no good for you, comrade Kook.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:This reminds me of somebody, but I can't remember who.

(help a comrade by offering suggestions)

The attachment assface.jpg is no longer available

Erich Honecker???

Comrade Whoopie wrote:This reminds me of somebody, but I can't remember who.

(help a comrade by offering suggestions)

assface.jpg

Whoopie, I can't believe you don't recognize it as the face of Henry Kissinger (just afer it was sat upon by that probably now-overweight actress he used to date, Jill St. John). He doesn't look very happy, though. Maybe she's much more overweight than the public knows. Or, better theory, maybe he just swallowed his dentures.

Here are Kissinger and Jill St. John in their better days:






--KOOK

Comrade Whoopie wrote:This reminds me of somebody, but I can't remember who.

(help a comrade by offering suggestions)

assface.jpg

Whoopie,

Here's a better likeness: .


--KOOK

I just realized something. I waited on him before, many years ago. It was in the days when I worked room service for the Fairmont hotel. He wanted me to strip down while I tossed his salad, and he ordered a whole chicken, just for himself. Boy, did he have an appetite.