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We are recycled!

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A Made Progressive can work only so much of the time and this evening I was watching Known Universe, which speaks of how the universe was created. But never one to really relax, I made note of the diversity of every commercial and if every criminal in every credit-card-fraud or burglary-prevention commercial was not a white male I complained on the company's website.

The program however posited that the Universe was made by the Big Bang many billions of years ago. I realize that this is heretical for we Made Progressives all know that the Universe was created by the Alpha Centauri Stimulus bill of 14.7 billion B.C.

I find that no atoms are made or destroyed, merely split and recombined, and recycled endlessly. When we eat a meal, we are eating atoms that were created in the explosion of a star.

When we breathe air we breathe air that Marx breathed.

But most exciting of all, when we drink a glass of water, we are drinking water that His O'liness peed!

In this way doth He bless us, the atoms from His Staff, they comfort us. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow us, and we will dwell in the outhouse of His O'liness forever.

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The Known Universe is completely wrong about the creation. Science tells us that there was a previous universe which collapsed when its final bailout failed to end its recession. Economic and political activity dwindled to a single point, the point we now call "Obama". He begat a stimulus which caused a re-exapansion of the universe into the form we see today. The pork in his stimulus bill became fruitful and multiplied and populated the universe with pigs which later mutated into roads, bridges and golf carts, new sod for the malls of galactic capitals, ACORNs (lots and lots of ACORNs) and tax breaks for amoeba that bought protoplasm from union protoplasm makers. Obama split off some of his cells to make stem cells, but he made them replicate in such a way that they would mutate in random ways so we would all not look like him. Most of us would develop into his servants and were placed on earth for this purpose; he called them "proles". To some of his higher creatures, he gave special powers to waste money and avoid paying taxes, and these creatures he placed in Congress to rule over the proles while he took a vacation in Hawaii.

This is the current model that science has constructed for the creation of the universe. It is called the "string along" theory.

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I see, Opiate, I see. This string-along theory--are we up to 14 dimensions yet? I can count the dimension of lying, theft, corruption, intimidation, pride, misrepresentation, assault, threat and misprision. That's only nine.

And we find, do we not, that 76% of the matter in the universe is Dark Energy? It is what keeps the universe expanding and not collapsing onto itself.

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There are 5 additional dimensions of Hope which exist at left angles to each other. There are no dimensions of Change although there does APPEAR to be one to fixed observers (or observers with fixes.) However, this dimension is actually an optical illusion produced by the interaction of the lying, theft, corruption, intimidation, pride, misrepresentation, assault, threat and misprison dimensions with one or more of the Hope dimensions. And a couple of scripts from the original Star Trek series thrown in for good measure.

No, Dark Energy is energy that is currently under-utilized in the universe due to misallocation of scientific funds during the BusHitler administration. This is different from Dark Matter which is matter which cannot be seen due to Republican cutbacks on streetlight subsidies in the neighborhoods where dark matter lives. Using string-along theory, Obama hopes to employ dark energy and dark matter to drive expansion of the universe and cause the 22nd amendment to implode, at which time he will become the gravitational center of the universe. Pretty neat, huh?


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Opiate of the People wrote:It is called the "string along" theory.

Lol! Now, that is funny. Quantum physics has taken a sharp turn to the Left. And there I was thinking of the Great Obama Singularity more as a comic-like Rube Goldberg device than as a creation event. I was thinking of the Stimulus Bill as the kick-of-the-cat that scares-the-bird that flies-through-the-air-with-a-string-attached-to-it's-foot that pulls-the-trigger-of-a-gun that shoots-the-target that falls-to-the-ground and bursts open with jobs kind of thing. A Rube Goldberg cartoon. I think Socialism is actually a Rube Goldberg joke that people of negligible intelligence took seriously and decided to try and build.

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Boy, that explains alot.
I thought Stimulus Bill was the guy who lead the parade at The Folsom Street Fair.

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Opiate wrote:There are no dimensions of Change
Opiate, I hope you know that with that one line you are walking a knife's edge and on one side you will find a purge and on the other a show trial.

The problem though is that I cannot find more Progressive virtues to add to the lying, theft yada yada yada virtues to pump up the string-along theory to get past the supergravity theory.

Which was, until the advent of His O'liness, the highest of all Progressive virtues for it was epitomized by the ass of our Many Titted Empress, the belly of Michael Moore and the legs of Katie Couric.

I do take your point about using dark matter and dark energy to make the 22nd Amendment implode but considering the willingness of the people to be transfixed by the transubstantiation of a one-term senator to being the Roi du Soleil, wouldn't it just be easier for his O'liness to wipe his ass with the 22nd Amendment?

Or if you want to get rid of the whole Constitution, have our MTE wipe her ass with it, along with the Declaration of Independence, the Magna Carta, and all of Leonardo's notebooks.

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Laika the Space Dog wrote:Boy, that explains alot.
I thought Stimulus Bill was the guy who lead the parade at The Folsom Street Fair.

LOL. You might be right. Either that or this...

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Margaret wrote: I was thinking of the Stimulus Bill as the kick-of-the-cat that scares-the-bird that flies-through-the-air-with-a-string-attached-to-it's-foot that pulls-the-trigger-of-a-gun that shoots-the-target that falls-to-the-ground and bursts open with jobs kind of thing.

There are many who think the bill will work in exactly this fashion, but only because there is no other conceivable way it could possibly work. So it's Rube Goldberg or bust (or should that be Rube Geithner or bust????)


Margaret wrote:I think Socialism is actually a Rube Goldberg joke that people of negligible intelligence took seriously and decided to try and build.

Ah, but remember it is highly educated people of negligible intelligence that believe in socialism, so that proves it is viable.

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Socialists are people who are educated beyond their intelligence.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:
Opiate wrote:There are no dimensions of Change
Opiate, I hope you know that with that one line you are walking a knife's edge and on one side you will find a purge and on the other a show trial.

I am on safe scientific ground here for the dogma is "Change we can believe in" not "Change that absolutely exists." Also, the operative word is "can believe in" and not "must believe in" which allows the observer the option to believe, as heretical as that may appear. You see, I hired Bill Clinton to do the sentence parsing for me. He needs the money now that he can no longer appear on the rubber chicken circuit.

The problem though is that I cannot find more Progressive virtues to add to the lying, theft yada yada yada virtues to pump up the string-along theory to get past the supergravity theory.

Which was, until the advent of His O'liness, the highest of all Progressive virtues for it was epitomized by the ass of our Many Titted Empress, the belly of Michael Moore and the legs of Katie Couric.

All of these masses are large enough to distort the space time continuum to the extent that any passing photons of progressive baloney will fall towards them and thus appear to be coming from their mouths. Thus, the supergravity hypothesis is consistent with string-along theory because to a fixed observer positioned in front of a television set, the system appears cohesive. It is only when the observer begins moving at the speed of lightheadedness towards economic disaster that the equations become discontinuous and diverge towards infinity, along with the national debt.
I do take your point about using dark matter and dark energy to make the 22nd Amendment implode but considering the willingness of the people to be transfixed by the transubstantiation of a one-term senator to being the Roi du Soleil, wouldn't it just be easier for his O'liness to wipe his ass with the 22nd Amendment?

Or if you want to get rid of the whole Constitution, have our MTE wipe her ass with it, along with the Declaration of Independence, the Magna Carta, and all of Leonardo's notebooks.

A good test of this would be to get a particle accelerator and fire ACORNs at the 22nd Amendment to see if enough pieces could be broken off to make a valid U.S. birth certificate for Obama. Unfortunately, this will cost some billions of dollars to undertake and will have to wait for "Stimulus Bill II - Pelosi Clucks and Lays Another Golden Egg".

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Opiate of the People wrote:
Margaret wrote: I was thinking of the Stimulus Bill as the kick-of-the-cat that scares-the-bird that flies-through-the-air-with-a-string-attached-to-it's-foot that pulls-the-trigger-of-a-gun that shoots-the-target that falls-to-the-ground and bursts open with jobs kind of thing.

There are many who think the bill will work in exactly this fashion, but only because there is no other conceivable way it could possibly work. So it's Rube Goldberg or bust (or should that be Rube Geithner or bust????)


Margaret wrote:I think Socialism is actually a Rube Goldberg joke that people of negligible intelligence took seriously and decided to try and build.

Ah, but remember it is highly educated people of negligible intelligence that believe in socialism, so that proves it is viable.

Comrades,

Admitted Old Left physics professor Alan Sokal at NYU deserves a mention here for his hoax published in Social Text. How can one not love the title: "Transgressing the Boundaries: Towards a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity"? His reasons for publishing the progressive work are here and worth a read.

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Opiate wrote:I am on safe scientific ground here for the dogma is "Change we can believe in" not "Change that absolutely exists." Also, the operative word is "can believe in" and not "must believe in" which allows the observer the option to believe, as heretical as that may appear. You see, I hired Bill Clinton to do the sentence parsing for me

Look, Opiate, parsing only worked for Clinton because of the bimbo in the NY press who said she'd be willing to blow him. Can, Must, what's up with you? This is the age of the soundbite. You can parse all you want but if you manage to fall off that knife's edge then...you...die. And since Slick has all that money for his ghost-written book he won't care about parsing your words. He wants nothing but parting chicks' knickers.

Opiate wrote:that the equations become discontinuous and diverge towards infinity, along with the national debt
<i>Must</i> you wreathe yourself in pseudo science? After all that's for John Rawls and others of his ilk. Discontinuous equations? Next you'll be telling me that there is no closed-form solution for proving that the integral from minus to positive infinity for Gaussian distribution is one. When in fact it does take a trick but then what's a fact among friends? When your god is the destruction of objective truth? Because it doesn't <i>care</i> about you?

It is also an error to say that the national debt is going toward infinity because we intend to inflate the currency as needed. The Mexicans and the French have all lopped off three zeroes from their currencies to make new pesos and new francs and so what? It made them feel really good. And it only hurt prudent people. So what's your point? If you intend to save money, I shall kick Pupovich in the nads and get him to the side and put your show trial first.

Pelosi laying a golden egg? What a novel idea. Whenever she talks she sucks her teeth. I thought that the only bird with teeth was Daffy Duck. But when you touched his tit he, unlike a cow, did not shit on the floor.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:It is also an error to say that the national debt is going toward infinity because we intend to inflate the currency as needed.

Infinity of the national debt reaches so far into the numbers and then is turned into what is actually physically left, the people that are still alive - muscles working the land for subsistence.

And then we too are recycled, in a manner of words.

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Ah yes. After the currency fails, the debt is resolved, and all that is left is the row of beets...

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Commissar Theocritus wrote: <i>Must</i> you wreathe yourself in pseudo science?

Yes, for I am a progressive! It's what I do! Al Gore is my Mr. Spock. The only Party-sanctioned progressive science is pseudo. With pseudo science, no theories are wrong; they are just before their time. Often WAY before their time.

After all that's for John Rawls and others of his ilk. Discontinuous equations? Next you'll be telling me that there is no closed-form solution for proving that the integral from minus to positive infinity for Gaussian distribution is one.

Make that Gaussian re-distribution. And the answer is not one, it's The OneTM.

It is also an error to say that the national debt is going toward infinity because we intend to inflate the currency as needed. The Mexicans and the French have all lopped off three zeroes from their currencies to make new pesos and new francs and so what? It made them feel really good. And it only hurt prudent people.

That's a good point. We've been paying off our creditors with worthless paper since 1971, doing this will just make it official (that it's worthless.) And, it will give us a chance to create pretty NEW currency notes with Obama's picture on it instead of a bunch of dead white males. I feel better already. Bless you.

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Ah, yes, Opiate. If you bought a house in 1975 on a thirty-year note, your last payment was made with a dollar worth 26% of the 1975 dollar. So do we repay out savers.

It is my fervent hope that in the next year or so His O'liness and his Kollege of Kardinals of the Kremlin will crank up those printing presses. Did you see some of the 70s thousand-lire notes in Italy? Paper that Kleenex would look down on, and dirty right out of the press. That's what we will have. Bushels and bushels of them to buy a loaf of bread.

And we won't print large-denomination notes either. It will take so many notes that the only way to pay will be with plastic, which will let us know what people are buying and where they're buying it. We shall outlaw prepaid cards, of course, unless the buyer has to render up his Worker Unit Number SSN. So that we can keep tabs on what's going on.

We shall of course also outlaw prepaid cell phones, except that anyone named Achmed or Hussein may buy one. It imposes an undue hardship on terrorists to think of another way to detonate explosives.

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Along those lines, here is an excellent article outlining how inflation destroyed Argentina: http://www.amconmag.com/article/2009/feb/09/00006/

Today, we think of Argentina as a perennial economic zombie but that was not always the case. I was suprised to read:
It is hard, looking at the basket case Argentina has become, to imagine what an economic powerhouse the country was before World War II. From the 1880s, Argentina was, alongside the U.S. itself, a prime destination for European migrants. Buenos Aires was one of the world's largest metropolitan areas, in a select club that included London, Paris, Berlin, and New York City. Argentina benefited mightily from foreign investment, which it used wisely to create a strong infrastructure and an excellent system of free mass education. It had the largest and most prosperous middle class in Latin America. When World War I began, Argentina was the world's tenth wealthiest nation.

Right up to the 1940s, American and European economists struggled to explain the glaring contrast between booming Argentina and slothful Australia. As many studies pointed out, both countries had begun at a roughly similar point, as agricultural producers dependent on fickle world markets. Yet Australia remained stuck in colonial status while Argentina made the great leap forward to the status of an advanced nation with an expanding industrial base and sophisticated commerce.

So what happened? Certainly the country was hit hard by the depression of the 1930s, but so were other advanced nations that ultimately recovered, and Argentina profited from intense wartime demand for primary products.

The country was killed by political decisions, and the primary culprit was Juan Perón. He dominated political life through the 1940s and ruled officially as president from 1946 to 1955, returning briefly in the 1970s. Although he did not begin the process, he completed the transformation of Argentine government so that the state became both an object of plunder and an instrument for plunder.

Fascinating stuff, and a cautionary tale for the future of the United States of Alinsky.

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I DENOUNCE ALL OF YOU AS INTELLECTUALS!! I mean, no offense or anything but Denounce a Comrade month is drawing to a close soon and... well... you know.

-OV

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Obamissar Vodkavich wrote:I DENOUNCE ALL OF YOU AS INTELLECTUALS!! I mean, no offense or anything but Denounce a Comrade month is drawing to a close soon and... well... you know.

-OV

I second that denouncement!

And I denounce myself for introducing a parlimentary procedure into the collective.

I shall report for re-education immediately.

Likewise, I will atone my mistake with community service helping ACORN blow through another multibillion dollar payoff.



PS. Under his O'lyness, black matter takes on a whole new meaning.

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Black energy, don't you think, Reixucat?

Opiate, you really are thinking too much. That will never do. You need to enter a 12-step program to help you quit thinking.

"I will not think because it might show the party in a bad light." Say that as a mantra, 24/7, so that you will be sure that you do not think more than you have to.

Thinking is very dangerous. And you are doing the worst sort of thinking. You can think as far as resentment goes--how do I get back at XXX and all that? That's okay.

But if you think logically with the idea that <i>actions have consequences</i>, then Lenin help you. Because the first and last trope of the good Progressive is that actions have the consequences that we say we do.

[ off ]I really think that that is the single credo of liberalism, unmasked. [ /off ]

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Opiate, you really are thinking too much. That will never do. You need to enter a 12-step program to help you quit thinking.

Wasn't that one of Ayn Rand's gripes against Zen Buddhism in particular? A focus on self-denial and attaining Enlightenment, where one's brain is free of all thought, even the "Am I really thinking I'm not thinking?" thought.

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Theo,

Did you catch this piece from our progressive progenitors in the UK? Glorious news for the ultimate in recycling:

LONDON (AP) — Britain's prime minister called Sunday for overhauling the country's organ donation system, saying doctors should be able to remove body parts from deceased patients without prior needing consent.

Maybe with all those factories opening in China, there are fewer people around to stick in the liao gai for organ harvesting.

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Tovarich, I knew it was coming. In addition I think that a good progressive government should set a scientific definition of death. No more fogging a mirror. No more flat EEG.

If the quality of the victim's citizen's life is subpar then the State has a right to end that life to save the suffering of the citizen.

Which saves money on medical care and provides much-needed organs.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote: Opiate, you really are thinking too much. That will never do. You need to enter a 12-step program to help you quit thinking.

That's really an ironic thing to say to a television set. Think about it. Ooops, sorry, forget I said that.

OK, here are the Party's instructions:
- I must not think because it causes my brain to heat up and increase global warming
- I must not think because no one in Congress can and they hate show-offs
- I must not think because the resulting brain waves bounce off of the tin-foil hats of my neighbors and may end up microwaving passing birds, thus inciting the Audobon Society to violence (not to mention PETA)
- I must not think because that is Obama's job and we can't have him not doing anything
- I must not think because it interferes with HOPE
Finally,
- I must not think because it hurts and the pain meds will not be covered by Pelosi care

I have learned my lesson. What time is Oprah on?


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Oprah is not on when Judge Judy or Judge Hatchett is.

Opiate, I like your catechism. But do you not think that you, in a spirit of socialist solidarity, are not flattering yourself in believing that your brainwaves could bounce off the tin-foil hats of neighbors and microwave birds? I say this in Progressive Love. And you know you can microwave anything whatsoever as long as you do in in Loving Progressive Rage.

But here's my single prayer: "I must not think because it hurts my head."

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Comrade Opiate,

Perhaps you can find the time to write White Noise for the Soul. As you are a TV set, surely you could get Oprah to plug it--to tune in, turn on, drop out the "Buy!" command--negating the racist "white" aspect through an explanation with large technical words, long sentences with scads of relative clauses and asides, and a sprinkling of sensitivity words like "transcend," "multi-frequency" as a metaphor for multicultural, "green" and "eco-friendly" as regards to how natural white noise is, and "diversity." The royalties could be.

The sequel, however, is a problem. Dark Matter for the Soul doesn't sound uplifting.

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What about <i>Chicken Soup for the Obama smokers</i>?

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That's almost Hooverian: A chicken in every pot! Obama could do well to review Hoover and FDR, but then they are now mere DWEMs. Personally, I'd prefer Fair Trade Organic Free-Range Salmonella Chicken Soup for Obama's Soulmates.


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How does one type gut-busting laughter? "Haw haw haw!" seems lacking.

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I must of gotten some atoms from the Bushitler, because I have terrible memory loss, and we both know the Bushitler is stupid, like a dumb monkey.


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Of course he is. He's evil because he doesn't care what we progressives do. That's why Ronald Reagan (hiss, boo) was evil. Because he didn't care what we progressives do. And that's why Sarah Palin must be destroyed. Because she doesn't care what we progressives do or think.

She's got a manly husband who love and and the children--he's not a neutered screeching queen who goes to bed with women--from time to time--and engages in manscaping. He takes care of his kids. And she's just not concerned with us.

This will not do! She must bow and Monica us! It will not do that Sarah Palin doesn't care about us!

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Hmm. . . I'm thinking Commissar. . . you make it sound like Todd im'Pal'n is a woman, and Sarah is the man.

The entire community of Progressives know men are inferior to womyn, and they must retain a sort of man-boy persona, so they can run off after a one night stand. This way, the whiman stays on welfare all her life, her kid stays stupid (therefore, a registered voter of democrat) and the man will live on welfare so he can afford the one night stands. Now, Todd is being Progressive as being submissive to Sarah, but he's caring for and taking responsibility for his kids!

You are right, we must subdue Sarah im'Palin!


 
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