Comrades, may I please introduce you to the latest board game to hit the State Owned Stores this People's Holiday. I am sure you will have hours of fun playing....


It comes complete with the Chairman, Laika the Space Dog, Big Fur Hat, Pinkie's Golden Shovel pieces, and lots of OPM!

Comrade Pupovich,

This game looks like fun for the whole family (collective, legal, illegitimate, Partridge, and Manson), but should not the Chance card be renamed "Pull" or "Connexions"? Ah, maybe "Party Favors" hits the right note.

I was somewhat surprised it was not just called "Not-a-Chance" card. But then again, the Obama wants us to have Hope....

What will be the tokens for game? I propose: an empty bottle of vodka, a broken down Yugo, a hammer and sickle, a nuclear reactor with a hole in the roof and a GUM department store with a queue of happy proles lined up outside.

A glorious game indeed. There are no winners, only losers, but that means everyone's results ARE EQUAL!

Opiate of the People wrote:What will be the tokens for game? I propose: an empty bottle of vodka, a broken down Yugo, a hammer and sickle, a nuclear reactor with a hole in the roof and a GUM department store with a queue of happy proles lined up outside.

I already mentioned those, though I did forget to mention the Yugo, or Zil...

It comes complete with the Chairman, Laika the Space Dog, Big Fur Hat, Pinkie's Golden Shovel pieces, and lots of OPM!

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Opiate of the People wrote:What will be the tokens for game? I propose: an empty bottle of vodka, a broken down Yugo, a hammer and sickle, a nuclear reactor with a hole in the roof and a GUM department store with a queue of happy proles lined up outside.

I already mentioned those, though I did forget to mention the Yugo, or Zil...

It comes complete with the Chairman, Laika the Space Dog, Big Fur Hat, Pinkie's Golden Shovel pieces, and lots of OPM!

When I first read the post, it didn't dawn on me that those were the game pieces. But on further reflection, what the hell else would they be? DUH! Like any good progressive, I must find someone to blame for this error, preferably some corporate entity with deep pockets from whom I can coerce a nice settlement. (Memo to self: call lawyer and ask if Parker Bros. is still in business.)

The games peaces come in a shovel, a shovel, and that's about it.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Comrades, may I please introduce you to the latest board game to hit the State Owned Stores this People's Holiday. I am sure you will have hours of fun playing....


It comes complete with the Chairman, Laika the Space Dog, Big Fur Hat, Pinkie's Golden Shovel pieces, and lots of OPM!

(rolls dice) "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6" "Go to Jail. . ."

Comrades, you forget one thing. When the game first starts you draw a card. If you draw MSM, then you don't have to play the game. You never go to jail.

You merely go to the bread line as your job plays out as the NYT mortgages its building to stave off bankruptcy; the LA times and the Chicago media chain file for bankruptcy, and instead of going to jail you get to write endless whining editorials about how people don't know what they've got and how stupid people are as your salary is cut 35% (UPI and Helen Thomas) and you still write editorials about how stupid people are not to want you...


I wet myself laughing. To think of these precious sneering fools out of a job <i>because people don't give a shit about them</i>. That their opinions, on which they base their <i>raison d'être</i>, aren't worth the price of a newspaper. People are voting with their wallets. CNN is falling, with at least two staff cuts. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. And he made Commissar Theocritus very very happy with the bankruptcy of the LA Times.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:

I wet myself laughing. To think of these precious sneering fools out of a job <i>because people don't give a shit about them</i>. That their opinions, on which they base their <i>raison d'être</i>, aren't worth the price of a newspaper. People are voting with their wallets. CNN is falling, with at least two staff cuts. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. And he made Commissar Theocritus very very happy with the bankruptcy of the LA Times.

MSM forgot (or never learned) the first rule of capitalism, repugnant as that word may be to them: you can't sell what others are giving away for free. When they decided to become propaganda poop sheets for the Democrapic agenda, large numbers of folks declined to pay for the gas that the DNC passes without charge. For all their self-congratulatory blather about being the watchdog of democracy, the fourth estate, blahblahblah, they have lost sight of the fact they are BUSINESSES and not public schools, government agencies or similar entities that never go away no matter how useless they become. Businesses do not survive unless they serve their customers (except for automakers) and the customers decide if a business is serving them well, not vice versa. As you say, Commissar, people are voting with their wallets, but the MSM are astonished that people are allowed to do that and how dare they! Surprise! Even self-described saviors are not indispensible.

If it was the MSM of 40 or so years ago, they may have been right in that we are worse off without them; but the MSM of today.... Burn, Baby, Burn.

[off]Yes, indeed. Burn, baby, burn. I still recall the rage that Helen Thomas had when her salary with UPI was hacked by 35%, and that was before the current MSM meltdown.

They will of course try everything to keep on sneering, the the Fairness Doctrine is what they'll try. But no matter. Most people cannot name a single Supreme Court judge; nearly half cannot name the Vice President. News that is not sports of Hollywood trash means nothing to them. People who wants news will go to the blogosphere, which is increasingly doing the work that the MSM ought to do.

For they no longer retail news but their own precious opinions. Fuck them.

(off)
As you've said before sircomrade, people can, and do, vote with their wallet when it comes to businesses, and as you said again, when the MSM is merely telling us their opinion instead of reporting the news unbiasedly, as they should. Since a lot of Republicans, and some independents, and I'd even bet on some democrats, want the unfiltered news and not a 12 page editorial (35 on Sundays) of why the audience is either stupid, cave people, or just flat out retarded mentally.

So what do those people do? They stop buying it, or use it as fish wrap, than they turn to another source which does, in their opinion at the least, a better job or reporting events.

As I once saw a quote, "If Dan Rather did his job right, there would be no need for Rush Limbaugh." or something along those lines anyway.

Elliott wrote:As I once saw a quote, "If Dan Rather did his job right, there would be no need for Rush Limbaugh." or something along those lines anyway.

Thank you, Elliott, for quoting me.

Today while checking out of The Boulders the bellman asked if I'd like the paper. It was the NYT. "Fishwrap," I said and pitched it, and shocked him a bit. Well, it is. He's in Arizona, one of the most sensible of states.

First off, your welcome, I didn't remember who said the quote when I was writing it.

Second, hahaha. . . fish wrap, as we've discussed before, it makes excellent fish wrap. It doesn't surprise me either the man would take a shock from you calling his Daily Sermon From East Mound something like "fish wrap", and if Juan McCain has anything to say about Arizona, well, I wouldn't of given Arizona much credit.

I've fallen in love with Arizona, mostly because they don't have TexDOT. In Texas there are menacing signs everywhere, courtesy of TexDOT. In AZ there aren't any and there aren't that many cops. Same with Nevada, where I now am. If anything could drive me out of Texas it would be TexDOT and the overstaffed Department of Public Safety which seems to think that Mohammed will blow up the Astrodome if someone goes 1 mph over the speed limit.

Oh, mea culpa (my fault) sircomrade. I was under the impression you were poking fun at Arizona. I laugh at your TexDOT mention though. I can see the problem with too many DOT members in one state. I also know they want you to drive the speed limit just so they can get reelected and keep the sheep happy.

Commissar Theocritus, perhaps you should have taken that NY Times fishwrap....for that is also one of the most effective shields from pigeon talent shitting bombs.

Pupovich! The NYT is the definition of talent shitting. They've been talent shitting on people for decades! They did talent shitting on Ronald Reagan, who of course deserved it. How dare a man make Americans proud to be Americans. He had to be talent shit on, and the NYT did it.

And they do talent shitting everything else. It seems though that their bankers are doing some talent shitting on them. Poor progressives, to be bound by laws of economics when we all know they ought to be able to go and gambol with all the autocrats on earth, with Sally Quinn calling Castro "Fidelito" instead of actually paying bills.

And Comrade Elliott, one day I'll tell you how TexDOT thinks that water runs uphill. I'm not talent shitting you. They really do.

For another day, all right, I'll be waiting.

(off)
I'll be waiting and ready to laugh.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:And Comrade Elliott, one day I'll tell you how TexDOT thinks that water runs uphill. I'm not talent shitting you. They really do.

And Commissar, if the Party tells you that water runs uphill, what is your response?

I'll figure out what member of the party said it and if I can make money out of it. Which is how it should be.

Exploitation at its best!
(off)
In some views, the water is running uphill.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I'll figure out what member of the party said it and if I can make money out of it. Which is how it should be.

Is this the way it will always be for you Commissar? What of The Children™?

Pupovich! Did no learn <i>nothing</i> from Sally Struthers? You don't think that she passed that money on, do you? And didn't Jerry Lewis get into the money for His Kids?

Children are a tool. You sell to children but children will pollute Gaia, and we can't have that for as I've said Gaia must be kept pure for the time, billions of years in the future, when the earth is engulfed by the sun which will become a red giant.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pupovich! Did no learn <i>nothing</i> from Sally Struthers? You don't think that she passed that money on, do you? And didn't Jerry Lewis get into the money for His Kids?

I have learned that one doesn't admit to such things....

But this is in camera. All can be said here in perfect understanding

....Bruno! Turn on the tape recorder. We may get that !@#$ dog yet...

It is because of this "perfect understanding" that I know not to admit such.

Ah, Pupvich, discretion is the better part of valor, especially here. Owing to your renewed understanding, I will now turn my back on you for a full second.

What? You mean I have been dropped from the 4 seconds you had so graciously promoted me to? I am most saddened Commissar.

Ah, yes, Pupovich. Remember how one of your responses was just a little bit...facile. I am a connoisseur of game faces, Marshal, and I can tell the Made Progressive's "that'll hold 'em" face from the Made Progressive's unctuous smile to other Made Progressives. I felt that had we been in the Mafia you would have kissed my cheek.

And you know what <i>that</i> means.

Commissar, look deeply at my open, honest, commie canine face, and tell me it is not the face of socialist sincerity? Please, bump me back to 4 seconds. After all, what harm can one do in such a short time? It's not like I have the swift silent moves of the Chairman.

Your rheumy eyes have reached me, Marshal. I will now turn my back on you for four seconds. But once a day only.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Your rheumy eyes have reached me, Marshal. [HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]I will now turn my back on you for four seconds. But once a day only.

[/HIGHLIGHT]


[HIGHLIGHT=#ffffff]Ahhh......I found you both.....Greetings Commissar Theocritis & Marshal Pupovitch! What a day...huh? So why are you two hanging out here, on this old thread? Xmas is over, you know?(I wonder why I didn't get anything from them?) I guess that you both were trying to dodge the enormous crowds. Can't say that I blame you for that![/HIGHLIGHT]

Marshal, my congrats on the flawless and superb work that your patrols executed today. The goonscomrades made the One's inaugural just perfect! Did you hear the chanting the goonscomrades were shouting at the Bu$hitler? Soooo catchy to use that tune! (I didn't think that they had enough brains to come up with that..hehe)

Well, I do believe that the crowds have thinned out by now, my comrades. Why don't we all take in one of the One's 10, yes I said 10 inaugural balls. I'm ready to party hearty! Are they a gorgeous couple or what? What's that you say?....the party's over already?.....oh...crap!




PS Commissar, don't turn your back on the Pup....He's been conspiring with the Chairman again.......some bullshit about chiska?....must be some kind of secret code!...just watch him,
my Commissar.....I'll look out for you, always...after all, you are the one who "Made" me....correct?

Ah, yes, Che, and thank you. But those of us who remain are perhaps not made. More on a thread that I am composing.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Your rheumy eyes have reached me, Marshal. I will now turn my back on you for four seconds. But once a day only.

That is more than sufficient Commissar! Many thanks!

Che, thanks for covering my back. That's why I can turn my back on Pupovich for four seconds. You know I love him like a brother--even the brother that I didn't inform on--but he's a high-ranking Progressive and we high-ranking Progressives have...needs...

Commissar, Che has not been covering your back for there has been no need for such a service. Che is apparently referring to my use of the word "chiska" in a thread with the Chairman. This word simply means "housekeeping," and I was saying that now that the World of Next Tuesday has arrived, that perhaps it is time for a little chiska. Apparently Che has a nagging conscience or something. Perhaps he is the one responsible for the Chairman's missing doughnuts? But you, being the true progressive giant that you are, I am confident, understands the need for a little housekeeping now and then to keep the revolution clean and efficient. Your back is secure Commissar, for at least 4 seconds. You have my word, and you know what that is worth.

Ah yes, Marshal. And we have to trust people for four seconds, don't we? For that is how long it takes to bend over a broom for a really good sweep.

But I do love my Progressive Brothers. So much so that I would never tempt them by leaving the valuable out. I learned that one from Meow.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Commissar, [HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]Che has [/HIGHLIGHT]not been covering your back for there has beenno need for such a service. Che is apparently referring to my use of the word "chiska" in a thread with the Chairman. This word simply means "housekeeping," and I was saying that now that the World of Next Tuesday has arrived, that perhaps it is time for a little chiska. Apparently Che has a nagging conscience or something. Perhaps he is the one responsible for the Chairman's missing doughnuts? But you, being the true progressive giant that you are, I am confident, understands the need for a little housekeeping now and then to keep the revolution clean and efficient. Your back is secure Commissar, for at least 4 seconds. [HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]You have my word, and you know what that is worth.

[/HIGHLIGHT]
Marshal, Marshal, (my oh so silly, doubting Thomas) Marshal,

I told you before that I am but a newbie Commissar,.... excuse me,.... Uber-Commissar, and although I did rise quickly (yes I did rise amazingly fast for covering Theocritis' butt) through the Party's ranks, I will admit (to no one) that I am still learning the ways of the Inner Circle. So please excuse my questions, oh wise and conniving caring Marshal, but for me to execute my numerous and important duties to the Party, I must ask a question...or two, occasionally. ( So sorry to bother you, oh pompous canine and your silly talent-shitting birds!)

I do have an unbelievably clear conscience, dear Marshal. (he's not getting anything to use against me, the sneaky,sniffing little snoopdog) I wouldn't dream of stealing the Chairman's doughnuts. (The whole World knows that The Che' Gourmet makes incredible tasting donuts, so why would he/she bother with the garbage donuts that the Chairman scrounges...err..confiscates?)

As for your word, Sir Pup; being such a magnifico example of a true blue..err.. Red Progressive Revoluntionary such as you are, why would you ever have a problem with your honor being questioned? ?

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffffff]You can most certainly be assured [/HIGHLIGHT]that I believe (hahaha) your crappy stupid lies.....ahem.... "word", Sir! I am now positive (yeah and the Moon is made of cheese too LOL) that Commissar Theocritis has no need to worry about protecting his back. Not when a fellow Party Official such as you, dear Marshal is lurking behind him... near, Sir!!

(I'm now positive he's plotting with the Chairman, my Commissar, so beware! You know he can't be trusted!)

Che, don't worry about Pupovich. Nansky was over at the Rancho the other day and said that she was going to play with his head. The thing with Nansky when she plays with your head is that you figure that there has to be something more. That just <i>can't</i> be all there is, can it? I mean, she says something, and you try to figure out if she actually meant anything. She gives you a significant look, although it could be the fifteen face lifts, and you wonder, "Yes? What?"

It's unnerving, Che, very unnerving. One she did that to my cat Calvin and even Calvin, who owns any room he comes into, dumped on the carpet and slunk out on his belly. And Nansky didn't even know what she had done.

So don't worry about Pupovich. When you have Nansky after you it's in its own way even worse than our Many Titted Empress. Because there is utterly no logic to what Nansky does.

Commissar Theocritis,

How fitting that Nansky would come around to gloat and kick the "dog" around, eh?
(great timing for us Commissar. Did you call her for this purpose? Excellent pr-emptive move if so! LOL)

Actually, Che, Nansky is what in olden days would have termed force majeure, or an act of God. These days we call it an act of Stalin or a bureaucratic regulation--it's the same damned thing.

She just <i>happens</i>, like a herpes sore, and is about as welcome too. But at least with the herpes there is a pattern that you can figure out. With Our Many Titted Empress there is a pattern that you can figure out.

One of the difficulties in computer science is generating a true random number. For example slot machines. It's easier now than before but there is no such thing as a truly random number in computer science.

If we could hook Nansky up to a computer we could generate truly random numbers and get rich from Bally.

Actually Commissar, perhaps you should remember, and I surely can not remember exactly what you said, but it was something about how even the MTE was unable to overcome me when I was over at your place. I can't remember exactly what it was, but I was quite honored by your observation. Clearly though, if the MTE was unable to throw me off balance if you will, there is nothing in Nansky's disgusting and vile bag of tricks, and yes, I have seen the depths of her vile nature, that can upend me. The Chairman trained me, and it has served me quite well indeed.

But what is there to worry about anyway? We are both more equals of a kind, who both entered the Party's service at roughly the same time. Our glorious upward paths were on a similar path, and I of course value the talents of our new chef. In fact, I feel as if I have also been mentoring him in my own way. If you examine his posts, I feel you too can see my influence.

Che Gourmet wrote:I told you before that I am but a newbie Commissar,.... excuse me,.... Uber-Commissar, and although I did rise quickly (yes I did rise amazingly fast for covering Theocritis' butt) through the Party's ranks,

Verily, you have risen quickly in the manner of overactive yeast in a warm bowl of MTE piss and sugar. Of course we know why yeast causes the loaf to rise do we not? By the expelling of planet killing greenhouse gasses. But that is neither here nor there. I celebrate your rise and hope I have had a paw in your training. I have certainly had my paws in your back pocket on more than one occasion. But somehow I get the feeling that you believe that I may be trying to harm your position in the Party. Far be it from me! However, I would point out that one of the best things that could ever happen for you would be for you to go through your own Show Trial. A good Show Trial will make you stronger and wiser, provided of course you survive. I will certainly back such a self improvement project such as that if you wish?

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Children are a tool.

This is absolutely true. The Russians who have migrated here in their former People's Republic (Alaska, before Seward stole it) know that quite well. They spend their winters boinking their babushkas so as to qualify for more state gratuities for the little potato-planter that comes into the world the following fall.

This wisdom is also practiced in our stronghold--the Inner City! I have a capitalist acquaintance in Texas who deals in low-income housing, and knows full well the racket the single mothers play to get their homes and cars paid for. Yes, they know all about What About the Children^tm.


It's the closest thing to state-sponsored prostitution we'll see this side of Amsterdam.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Che Gourmet wrote:I told you before that I am but a newbie Commissar,.... excuse me,.... Uber-Commissar, and although I did rise quickly (yes I did rise amazingly fast for covering Theocritis' butt) through the Party's ranks,

Verily, you have risen quickly in the manner of overactive yeast in a warm bowl of MTE piss and sugar. Of course we know why yeast causes the loaf to rise do we not? By the expelling of planet killing greenhouse gasses. But that is neither here nor there. I celebrate your rise and hope I have had a paw in your training. I have certainly had my paws in your back pocket on more than one occasion. But somehow I get the feeling that you believe that I may be trying to harm your position in the Party. Far be it from me! However, I would point out that one of the best things that could ever happen for you would be for you to go through your own Show Trial. A good Show Trial will make you stronger and wiser, provided of course you survive. I will certainly back such a self improvement project such as that if you wish?

Marshal,

Yes, my dear Pupovitch, I thank you for your kind (and insincere) praise. You have been a beacon in the dark to me (where the hell is he now??). Indeed, I have learned much (about lying, cheating, backstabbing) from observing you in action. You are such a fine example of a good Progressive, Sir!

I do not feel that you are trying to harm me, mi amigo! Your toiling Chef only wishes to learn (to stay alive and rise like a meteor, in the Party) to make the proper alliances that will benefit the Party(tm).(and I don't believe he is proposing friendship....no matter...I've dealt with some of the worst bastards to get what I....oh yeah..what the Party(tm) wants...LOL)

Though a Show Trial would be a excellent way to educate the lesser proles (leave me alone...I'm getting pissed) in the ways of the Party(tm), I am extremely busy at this time. There is a Food Show in Cuba, (I must speak with Fidel before the old coot dies on me, and Raul, Si they will cover my back or hide me out , if needed) in a little over a week's time, that I must attend.

Your Chef needs to go to this boring function to observe the latest techniques (assassinations, impalings, disposing of bodies, etc.) of the trade.

So, Marshal, as you can surely see, although I thank you for your concern for my self- improvement, you realize that I am being a good example by being a self-starter!(so back off, mutt!)

Pupovich wrote:Verily, you have risen quickly in the manner of overactive yeast in a warm bowl of MTE piss and sugar

No, no, no, no! Pupovich, yeast <i>dies</i> in MTE piss. I use MTE piss as aqua regia, to dissolve those pesky gold fillings to remove the traces of inconvenient corpses.

There would have been no bother at all with Vince Foster had our MTE just drunk enough beer.




Kamerad, I know what you mean about low-income housing. 25 years ago I did some programming to syndicate real-estate, including low-income housing, and not only is there that social pathology but often 15% of the construction cost is apportioned to rehab in 3 to 5 years because they steal the <i>toilets</i>.

Che, do not fret yourself about a show trial. Once every few months we here give Pupovich a show trial. It's like hiring a dominatrix for the night. He loves it so, but I admit that he does have really good show-trial chops.

No matter how bright the lights on the chair are, he never sweats. He just declares, over and over, his devotion to the motherland and you know what? One or two of the weaker-minded star-chamber judges had tears in their eyes.

So don't worry. It's just his little fetish.

Che Gourmet wrote:Your toiling Chef only wishes to learn (to stay alive and rise like a meteor, in the Party) to make the proper alliances that will benefit the Party(tm)

Ah, that is the phrase I was looking for earlier, that escaped me. But Commissar Che, perhaps you need me more than you realize. For instance, your esteemed mentor apparently decided to omit to point out that meteors do not rise Comrade.... they fall to a sure and definite flaming death. This Marshal does not wish for you to see such a fate.[/size][/i]

Commissar Theocritus wrote:No matter how bright the lights on the chair are, he never sweats. He just declares, over and over, his devotion to the motherland and you know what? One or two of the weaker-minded star-chamber judges had tears in their eyes.

Ah, thank you Commissar, that was the fine compliment I was having problems remembering.

Not at all, Marshal, not at all. Consider that your Winter Solstice gift.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Che Gourmet wrote:Your toiling Chef only wishes to learn (to stay alive and rise like a meteor, in the Party) to make the proper alliances that will benefit the Party(tm)

Ah, that is the phrase I was looking for earlier, that escaped me. But Commissar Che, perhaps you need me more than you realize. For instance, your esteemed mentor apparently decided to omit to point out that meteors do not rise Comrade.... they fall to a sure and definite flaming death. This Marshal does not wish for you to see such a fate.[/size][/i]

Marshal Pupovitch,

Gracias for your obvious concern for my welfare.

I agree that I misused the word meteor, although that is not usually a mistake I make. I meant to say, or rather I was not "talking?" out loud, that is to say I meant "Star", not meteor. The heat and stellar show that watching a meteor is what I was refering to. But, again, gracias for the correction.

I did mean it when I said that I wanted to make good alliances, but this is only for the good of the collective, not to further my own ambition. I am a true Revolutionary, and have not yet learned that I must be avaricious as a good Progressive is, in practise. I wish only to serve, as I know you do, the finest aims of the Party(tm) That is why I have been a sponge, soaking up everthing that the more tenured Inner Circle have to say and watching what they do. You may be assured that I am loyal to the Party(tm), and shall remain so, Marshal.

Che, you are coming along. Soon, with your devotion, you will do something so utterly hideous, self-serving, self-righteous, larcenous and nasty that you will be a Made Progressive.

Then we will all pay you the compliment of refusing to turn our backs on you.

Been there, done that.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Che, you are coming along. Soon, with your devotion, you will do something so utterly hideous, self-serving, self-righteous, larcenous and nasty that you will be a Made Progressive.

Then we will all pay you the compliment of refusing to turn our backs on you.

Been there, done that.

Thank you Commissar. I shall look forward (and behind me) to that day with anticipation.(should I live that long LOL)

Che, I know that it takes time to get over those bourgeois notions of propriety and niceness. After all, when you see yourself as the savior of the world, everything is permitted. Ask Mussolini.