You May Cleanse Yourself Here, Scum

I was a skeptic but I was so unhappy with my life. Then some nice people knocked on my door and spoke to me of the good word, about the promise of Al Gore's message, about the truth, about the way. I'm off now, with my new friends, to spread the good word. We're going to make everyone believe in environmentalism and global warming and how the planet loves us; it will unify the people under one banner, under one single belief system - and in that way end all civil strife, end everything that divides us, and this will make us strong and good so that we can live like Al Gore, our saviour.

Temple Of The Goracle

Make sure you SEEK FORGIVENESS at the temple by buying lots of Carbon Offsets. Your contributions help to feed and house us.
 

May the Gore Bless thee and fleece thee
May the Gore Slime down upon thee
And grant thee a piece of the carbon credit pie

In the name of Marx, Lenin, and Stalin's Ghost.

A-gender neutral

Rev. L. Space Dogged
 

Oh blessings be upon thee and carbon credits descend upon you for sharing this! I am cleansed!
 

Ha, ha, they used the Halo Theme song. Although the theme to Halo 2 is better:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=r_erkKCc4Vw
 

I used to believe in climate CHANGE. Now I believe in climate HOPE.
 

Climate Hope! Glorious Comrade Otis! No wonder you are spoken of in hushed tones behind your back.

I believe in Climate Hope!
 

Commissar Pupovich

I believe in Climate Hope!



I believe I will take my Hummer H1 to the carwash. After all, as a member of the Inner Circle™ the concept of Global Warming™ is for proles.

"Pepito! Pepito! You missed a spot on the rear bumper!"

--
 

I am working hard for Climate Hope by encouraging all my comrades to ride Harley Davidisons, the bigger and baddest one's possible, to try and take those globe destroying cars off the road and make the highways safer for bikers!
 

My dad sold his a while ago. At least we replaced it with a Chevy Tahoe.
 

Margaret, I love your idea. And here's how to capitalize on it. If the Goracle and St. David can jet about having a rollicking good time talking about global warming, and the servant problem of course, and what doctor is the very best at botox, then why can't we get paid for not doing all that?

We can set up a carbon-trading market for what we do notdo. You know, I don't have, yet, that Gulfstream 5. (Laurie David's guards were watching a bit too closely.) But I ought to get money for not flying one.

And, here's a brain-wave, let's sell carbon indulgences! That's right, carbon indulgences! Billions there. Billions.
 

Carbon Indulgences..... carbon credits for the necro voters eh? Brilliant!
 

Yes. And we can refuse to let the necro voters burn their funeral pyres in the Ganges.