"If you don't let us be in charge of the Senate trial we won't impeach Donald Trump," Democrats threaten Mitch McConnell.
News We Don't Have Time To Write About (archive)
12/17/2019, 12:55 pm
First we have to impeach Donald Trump before we can find out why we impeached him.
12/20/2019, 12:04 pm
FISA court demands FBI quit exposing the court as nothing but a procedural rubber stamp
1/2/2020, 3:22 pm
Telling coal miners they can learn to code is an insult to coal miners, says Liz Warren. Her new plan will train them all to be romance novelists.
1/3/2020, 7:07 am
Soleimani (& companions) martyred. UN demands Israel to distance itself from Great Satan. Otherwise UN Resolution 2020/ISR/1 will follow, condemning Little Satan.
1/3/2020, 11:43 am
George Soros killed in targeted strike. "He was using our own money to harm Americans," says Trump administration official.
1/5/2020, 5:54 am
A spontaneous Revered Poetry slam sparked by airborne AI on Baghdad's airport perimeter
1/6/2020, 3:07 pm
Iran ships Salami's remains back to Iran with Fed-Ex and now no one knows what happened to the box
1/7/2020, 5:47 pm
Iran Declines To Sign Colin Kaepernick After Reviewing Workout Video
Babylon Bee already has a story titled...Margaret wrote:Colin Kaepernick finally gets employment, signs contract with the Quds force.
Iran Declines To Sign Colin Kaepernick After Reviewing Workout Video
1/8/2020, 11:18 am
Malarkeygate deepens: Pallet cash may have been used to pay for Ukrainian jet shootdown. Corruption appears to have rendered black box useless.
1/13/2020, 1:40 am
Babylon Bee says he didn't sign? But Babylon Bee is fake news. I've got the real poop.
Red Square wrote:Babylon Bee already has a story titled...Margaret wrote:Colin Kaepernick finally gets employment, signs contract with the Quds force.
Iran Declines To Sign Colin Kaepernick After Reviewing Workout Video
Babylon Bee says he didn't sign? But Babylon Bee is fake news. I've got the real poop.
1/13/2020, 1:54 am
“While the Iranian protests have remained relatively small, with participants only numbering in the hundreds of thousands, the public rebuke reflects the challenges faced by governments dealing with the unstablizing influences of Donald Trump,” reports CNN
1/14/2020, 4:19 pm
"All roads lead to Putin." -- Nancy Pelosi
"If she's claiming to have intel that no one else has we need to get her under oath and explain." -- Intel Community
"If she's claiming to have intel that no one else has we need to get her under oath and explain." -- Intel Community
1/14/2020, 5:41 pm
Bernie Sanders promises to release a short list of Supreme Court Justices he will send to the gulag
1/15/2020, 1:30 pm
We already proved our impeachment charges but we demand new witnesses in order to prove them, explains Jerry Nadler
1/16/2020, 6:45 pm
Bernie Sanders says there is no truth to the latest videos and blames them on Trotskyite sabotage of the revolution
1/16/2020, 6:54 pm
Nancy Pelosi has souvenir crayons emblazoned with her signature that she's using to sign the articles of impeachment
1/17/2020, 5:08 pm
Virginia's Committee on Public Safety changes state slogan to VIRGINIA IS FOR JACOBINS
1/18/2020, 4:01 am
In a recent tweet, Ali Khamenei declared that Iran impeached the clown Trump before the United States did. “And when The Supreme Leader impeaches you with my Fatwa, you are impeached forever,” Mr. Khamenei stated.
1/24/2020, 4:10 pm
Adam Schiff sums up his argument for conviction and removal saying "Most perniciously, Trump planned to destroy the country by subjecting us to this ridiculous impeachment circus in order to win in 2020."
1/25/2020, 12:41 am
In a free country the Two Minute Hate is just boring. America tunes out the impeachment.
1/25/2020, 7:36 pm
CNN: Trump takes women and children as hostages during his impeachment trial. "These are the best human shields, EVER."
1/30/2020, 12:12 am
Joe Biden confuses Trump rally for his own before his aides can steer him off stage, give him a cookie
2/2/2020, 6:02 pm
Socialism will create a postal service across the nation delivering mail to everyone, declares presidential candidate Bernie Sanders
2/4/2020, 6:21 pm
CNN Van Jones calls Iowa racist: "White people are not viable and should not be allowed to vote for OUR President."
2/5/2020, 1:23 pm
Democrat caucus voting app still finding votes on misplaced servers stored in trunks of cars
2/7/2020, 12:40 pm
Pelosi solves coronavirus outbreak! Fresh off a triumphant hijacking of Trump's news cycle, Nancy Pelosi divines that the coronavirus originated with a pangolin!
Skeptics however point out that robotic germ warfare may be at play. Can it be a coincidence that "Cyborg pangolin"
is an anagram for "Nancy PBR gigolo"?
Skeptics however point out that robotic germ warfare may be at play. Can it be a coincidence that "Cyborg pangolin"
is an anagram for "Nancy PBR gigolo"?
2/9/2020, 5:56 pm
Pelosi says Trump has always been crazy and his every thought and deed is centered on her and driving her from office
2/12/2020, 4:13 pm
President Donald Trump is set to enter the famous Daytona 500 NASCAR race on Saturday, according to confidential sources. "I will be driving the NUMBER ONE car. I've always won, and I'm going to continue to win. And that's the way it is" he said at a rally.
2/15/2020, 12:11 am
Joe Biden promises lucrative board member jobs as door prizes to get people to his rallies
2/16/2020, 9:49 pm
President Trump: America, start your engines!
Democrat candidates: Ban fossil fuel!
Democrat candidates: Ban fossil fuel!
2/18/2020, 4:06 pm
If Medicare for All causes doctors to quit we will gladly send doctors to the USA, promises Cuba
2/18/2020, 5:05 pm
Done!
Margaret wrote:"Kill it!" becomes Michael Bloomberg's campaign slogan
Done!
'Kill it!' becomes Bloomberg's riveting new campaign slogan
2/22/2020, 12:13 pm
Russian lawmakers warned that the American Democrat party is meddling to re-elect Putin
2/25/2020, 5:01 am
We have way too many Russian Assets in this election: Donald Trump, Tulsi Gabard, Bernie Sanders, the NRA, and the entire Repubican Party. So how do you spot a Ruskie?
2/25/2020, 3:06 pm
Joe Biden's campaign carefully crafted to become Sander's assassination insurance
2/27/2020, 12:20 am
The democrats two part plan for dealing with the coronavirus:
1. Panic!
2. Blame Trump
1. Panic!
2. Blame Trump
2/28/2020, 6:16 pm
Pelosi to build a wall around Chinatown in an attempt to protect Napa vineyard workers from Corona beer.
3/3/2020, 12:14 am
This is what you do with all that Bloomberg junk mail
This is what you do with all that Bloomberg junk mail
This is what you do with all that Bloomberg junk mail
This is what you do with all that Bloomberg junk mail
This is what you do with all that Bloomberg junk mail
This is what you do with all that Bloomberg junk mail
This is what you do with all that Bloomberg junk mail
This is what you do with all that Bloomberg junk mail
This is what you do with all that Bloomberg junk mail
3/3/2020, 4:03 pm
DNC Chair Donna Brazil offers to lead socialists to Hell where the communist founders now reside.
3/11/2020, 3:54 pm
Middle-of-the-road: Joe Biden seen as a compromise between Bernie Sanders and Michael Avenatti.
3/12/2020, 2:49 pm
Joe Biden's coronavirus prevention tips: Always sterilize young girls before sniffing and fondling them
3/14/2020, 12:22 pm
"Coronavirus proves I should have complete totalitarian control over society. But don't worry, I'm not an authoritarian" says Bernie Sanders.
3/19/2020, 3:08 pm
Donald Trump wrongly assumes race and nationality of Coronavirus; still no comment on its gender.
3/20/2020, 9:15 pm
Governor Cuomo shuts down all 'non-essential' business, finds himself out of a job
3/28/2020, 3:04 pm
Huge crowds of protestors against coronavirus march and chant through the streets to raise awareness and strike terror in the heart of the coronavirus oppressive power
3/30/2020, 11:25 am
Pelosi: back in January we should've been impeaching him for negligent COVID19 response...
4/3/2020, 1:11 pm
Gosplan releases the first five-year coronavirus plan for the USA.
Medical and economic experts disagree on whether the goal of eleven million dead should be virus alone or inclusive of other purges.
Medical and economic experts disagree on whether the goal of eleven million dead should be virus alone or inclusive of other purges.
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