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Orientation Training for Newly Arrived Thoughtcriminals

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Freddy,

welcome to the collective. When you have a chance stop by building 102 and bring your assigned shovel. Our coal shoveler had an unfortunate firearm accident, he shot himself 5 times in the back, very strange. If you do well shoveling coal perhaps and only maybe I'll let you come out with my Goons Highly trained councilors. on a Midnight venture, to collect some Hummels for our dear friend Commissar Theocritus. I discovered a Rethuglikkkan has them,


Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

Greetings from Pyongyang, where our Glorious leader is making rice paddies produce plutonium grains instead of rice grains and grinding thought criminals to fertilize the ground.

Dear commissar, I only have one question. When will O also bow to Kim Junk-One?

Is this the socialism our children are going to enjoy?

north.jpg

https://www.flatrock.org.nz/topics/terr ... _flesh.htm

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Red Star, so glad to see that your enthusiasm has not diminished one little bit. I so often worry about comrades and burn-out. People just don't realize how hard it is to maintain that hair-trigger rage. And that hair-trigger knee jerk, too.

That's HARD. You have to be on message all the time. You can't let up and laugh, except to laugh AT a RethugliKKKan.

Kim Junk-Ill, tell me. Is it junk in the sense that I might call what's between my legs junk? Not that I think of it that way. But I always rather thought of Dear Leader and his family, as opposed to Dear O'Leader and his family, were post sexual beings and might not have junk.

In fact I had rather hoped that your family would be able to show us the way to reproduce by amoebic cellular division.

How neat would that be? If you could divide say once a day, in only a year there would be 7,515,300,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 new little communist dictators.

How kewl is that?

But don't tell Dear O'Leader that such a large number exists.

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My poor, empty Jifi-Lobo™ brain is virtually awhirl with all this conjecture! How can this be possible? Perhaps it's just a sub-quadrature variant of the Progressive agenda. Hmmmm? Yeah! That's it! That's the ticket! (Did that sound "intelligent" enough?) I will only know when my voters tell me so. Otherwise, I have no idea of what I just said. Just say, "sub-quadrature variant of Progressive agenda" enough times, say, three, and people will actually believe it means something! All hail the Progressive way! Um, is that "hail", or "hell"? I can't tell the difference, what with my Jifi-Lobo™, and all. Sigh. (I "think")

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Comrade Kim Junk-Ill, this picture feels potentially Myanmarese to me. Since WikiLeaks has provided information about North Korean engineers helping the Myanmarese develop nuclear materials, I am prolishly enthusiastic.

Regarding hair-trigger matters, I prefer the People's Pomade, available in the finest redistribution in Pyongyang; however, now a captive in the USSA, I find AstroGlide does a fine job, even if I have to employ the five-finger discount to gain what is mine by right.

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My Inner Comrade has been difficult to find, even after many hours of shovelling in the Ohio tundra and amidst serious self-loathing. I denounce it for becoming lazy during my college re-education.

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Rock Tsar wrote:My Inner Comrade has been difficult to find, even after many hours of shovelling in the Ohio tundra and amidst serious self-loathing. I denounce it for becoming lazy during my college re-education.


Ahhh Comrade: I beam with Pride Shoveling Global Warming is so rewarding.... Now hurry Hurry, I need my drive shoveled too.


Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

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First you will have to fill out form S2535B-1190D in triplicate of each color: white, goldenrod, and lavender. The white copies are to be kept as records, the goldenrod used by me to start fires and the lavender ones taken to the SEIU representative with the proper fee. The thugs bureaucrats in the corner will let you know if it is not enough.

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I could not grasp the inner Comrade. I'm more of a hands on learner. Take my shovel for example. I picked it up on the first day. Tomorrow I get deloused and then I stand in a line. They say I'm so special, I may go straight to line. Is it lunch time yet?

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I have yet to find my inner comrade, though I am thinking it is probably too soon as am I am only now receiving my the people's shovel. I will dig furiously in the hope that I will soon be a productive member of the collective!

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Fhalkyn wrote:Comrades, though I have not yet found my inner comrade, I am currently typing with my feet (the Komissar was most kind) and digging with my hands (as an educated person in greater need than me came, knocked me down, and took my shovel).


That was quite unfortunate Comrade Ehalkyn, about your shovel, I need a boot licker, and door mat for my Crew of homicidal Goons Highly trained Councilors. If you are interested, head over to the train station, fill out form 2219, and J98116, read publication 3988 ("So you want to be a door mat") provide a list of prior employers, since you were age 4. And find a Superior Comrade, to sign and verify you are indeed breathing.


P.S. these are the same forms used to apply for a position with the TSA.

Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

Holo, fellow comrades? I am runaway from the nearby Kulak farm of Sorozygstan some 5000 miles away, and heard that in this collective, all are equals to give without thought for better purpose than self. Will you please accept unworthy gift for collective for some bread crumbs & fish heads.

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I have just arrived on train. I cannot hold shovel I am chair..but I am red chair.

I am very pleased to join the company of so many great men and women of the collective to help insure (by any means necessary) Great Leader is victorious in the coming election.
If the dead must rise to vote so be it. If wild panthers must prowl the polling locations to insure protocols are followed so be it. If the state run media must use all their resources to catapult Great Leader to glory on a tidal wave of charisma, false hope and pure fear so be it. The ends shall always justify the means when the future of our precious Motherland is at stake. "TO VICTORY MY COMRADES!"

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Who knew? Crabs are collectivists too! You throw them in the pot and when one tries to crawl out another one will be a comrade and promptly pull him/she/it back down. I've met my inner comrade and he looks like Alice Cooper but he was singing a tune by Aerosmith "Toys in the attic". Such a warm feeling we are all in the same pot. If I became thought modulator it would be a life dream come true. I bring to the table electricity and wet sponges.

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Well, Arby, that's certainly good mood food for thought. Welcome to the collective. Just leave your wallet and keys in the tray on the table by the door to the train platform and the Party will take care of everything else.

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Greetings are product of decadent western influence and thereby a crime against the glorious motherland. Inner Comrade has been found and he is cynical, secure in knowing that only one he can trust is government-appointed overseers.

Plus, Inner Comrade dreams of day he can own really cool furry hat to go with prized potatoe.

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Welcome, Phantomgrift! May you never become the Phantom Menace, because that movied really sucked. With just the plain old Phantom of the comic strips, I'm kind of split; while he does look fabbo in the skin tight purple body suit, he wears guns and hits people judgementally. At any rate, welcome to the Cube. It only gets weirder the longer you stay.

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Greetings fellow shovelers and beet consumers/distillers. Am kurrently multi-tasking by gaining party knowledge from most wondrous website and watching dear leader receive the requisite delegate count for official party nomination. I'm hopeful for more hope and change to be dumped on granted to me. Now I must get some cot time so that I may be refreshed to hit the beet fields in the morning.

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Welcome, Tater. We are so glad you have decided to join us in our quest to liberate mankind from the tyranny of responsibility. In order to further your re-education, please follow these simple steps:

1. Go to the People's Blog

2. Find any post by Pinkie.

3. Disagree with her and denounce her and suggest she needs a man with a red hat.

4. When you regain conciousness, apply for a government grant for a Party-Approved helmet.

I am so happy to be part of the collective. I am unworthy of the state's magnanimity.

This is a dream come true. Thank you for accepting me into your fold.

Words are inadequate to express my gratitude over being accepted by the Kollective. I ask only that someone shoot me now while my brain is right so that I may die before succumbing once again to bourgeoisie individualism.

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I really miss East Germany, even though I have never been there. I offer my services to the glorious State as the Peoples Librarian. I hold weekly book burnings showing a purge of thought crimes. Also, visit your local library to turn in your guns. A police state has happy Comrades.

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I have great news, Comrades! Sarah Hill Ingram, the award-winning head of IRS's recent project to harass and intimidate conservative groups, has been promoted to head its Glorious ObamaCare Division! Soon the gutters of Times Square will run with the blood of the Criminally Uninsured!

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I am happy to join Kollective! I am but mere shoe, but someday I hope to be sock and maybe whole foot! Still, some shoe!

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Shovels aren't just for Marxists-Leninists, comrades! It's a symbolic tool of all socialists!

September 1933 - Adolf Hitler breaks ground on his ambitious plans to link all major German cities with highways. This ceremony kicked off construction of the Frankfurt-am-Maine - Darmstadt/Mannheim highway.

Hitler_Shovel_Ready_Government_Project.jpg

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echarletteuse wrote:[Spam. Spam, spam, spam, spam spam. On spam. And a tall glass of spam too. --Your ever-lovin' admin]

echarletteuse

HUH?

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As a new Comerade, I have pondered my Inner Comrade ™, using the most excellent torture, er, I mean process as written. I must denounce my self as, I came to realize, I myself had nothing to do with my horri-oops, wonderful enlightenment at all. The credit must all go to The People's State Of Oregon.
Forgive my selfish Thought Crime ™ that this less equal could claim any credit for anything.

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Sorry it took so long to find Tractor shed #2 comrades, but someone has stolen Tractor shed #1 and it took all day to convince glorious KGB comrades that I, Commissar Trabant, true friend of glorious leader had no idea of its whereabouts!

Now. anyone seen the shovels?


 
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