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People's Cube Ads

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Premier Betty wrote:For every carbon credit you don't buy, a million bazillion acres of rainforest are destroyed.

(ominous droning music)...we think the number is closer to billion bazillion.

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I always seem to be off by a large number....

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Premier Betty wrote:I always seem to be off by a large number....

(ominous droning music/gravelly, deep voiced narrator)...we think it's even larger.


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Why Mommy is a Democrat
Because she's on welfare, hates work, and she doesn't know who Daddy is or where he might be.

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Why Daddy is a Democrat
Because his union boss told him to register that way, or else!

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Just updated the ads collection with the latest submissions.

Thanks everybody!

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These ads could appear in the Personals section of the Workers' World newspaper:

Victim Seeking Male Oppressor
A weak oppressed female seeking
a strong male oppressor who
isn't averse to unaborted fetuses.

Oppressor Looking for a Victim
A seasoned male oppressor seeking
a female to oppress and keep under
a glass ceiling. Handy with the yoke.

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Why Is Mommy a Democrat?
The book Hillary Clinton doesn't want you to read.

Why Is Mommy a Democrat?
Her aborted baby asks Mommy some tough questions.

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Why Jimmy is a Dhimmicrat
The book that explains Appeasement

The People's Collar
Not just for quadropeds!
Lose the Kaffiyeh and
Show your loyalty through
this new fashion must.

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An ad by Commissar Theocritus:
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Dr. Laika Sputnikova, F.A.C.S.

New technology for implanting tin-foil under the scalp. Guaranteed no
visible scars.
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Bitter? Red? Single?
Find other local, unshaven singles
who hate Capitalism and America,
living with their parents
https://www.redsingles.com

Promote Class Warfare today!
Put on your Che tee-shirt,
grab your latte, and join us
to put an end to Cooperate Fat Cats!

Still angry about Winning the Election?
Find out how to troll conservatives'
facebook, youtube, and websites
to tell them how wrong they are!

Not happy?
Good, then we are doing our jobs.
If you are feeling happiness, tell
one of our fine reps to see how
we can restore your misery today!

Guilt the Earth Green
Find out how to guilt those
greedy SUV drivers into
changing their greedy,
baby seal clubbing ways.

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Laika, Noble Space Dog wrote:Why Jimmy is a Dhimmicrat
Thank you, Laika, I'll have fund with that.

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Billions for Bad Businesses!
Product sub-standard? Painful market downfalls affecting your sleep? Go to https://squeezethetaxpayer.gov for no-obligation grant

You Too Can Be an Illinois Senator!
For merely a few million dollars! Call Cook County Jail; ask for Rod OR go to https://lincolnspinning.org

Be a Part of an Exciting New Change-Oriented Team!
Corrupt inside-Washington experience and "connections" a plus. Ambassadorships and Cabinet positions going fast! Call 1-800-GET-HOPE; ask for Barack.

It occurs to me that the above are somewhat dependent on current events. I shall endeavor to design ads less apt to become dated. But in the meantime, I thought these might be amusing.

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Gun Collectors Needed For Coming Purge!!!
Must be fast, agile, and stupid. Irrational hatred of facts and reason a plus!
1-800-GRAB-762

Wealth Distributed to the Suspecting!!!
The Glorious Committee for State Security is opening an office near you! Register now! One lucky Genetic Grouping will win a State-funded trip to exciting Winter Wonderland!

Love to Argue?
Global Warming Apologists Desired! Meetings every Thursday night at your local Collective Rally Hall. Subject to snow delays.

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Thanks you comrades. I have added the latest ads to the pool, with slight changes (see above). Let me know if I missed anything good. Ads with too many words are excluded no matter how good they are.

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Tired of hearing the surge is working?

Donate your used vehicle today at www.VBIEDs-of-Change.com


If I Did It, Here's How It Happened
Order Bush's official memiors today!
https://www.amazon.com

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Are you tired of not getting what you want?
Do you think it's not fair that you should have to work for a living?
Do you think that the words "HOPE" and "CHANGE" are the answer to all your problems?

Then give your soul to the ONE, THE LORD OBAMA, and all will be provided.
Just quit your job at BURGER KING today. Stay home with your six children and your wife, or live in girl friend who dropped out of high school and doesn't work any way, and wiat for the government checks to come rolling in! After all, why should you have to work when there are so many out there who make way too much money as it is? They are just hording all of it. But not any more....

NOW WE GOT OBAMA!!!!

♫ HE'S GONNA SPREAD HAPPINESS, HE'S GONNA SPREAD FAIRNESS.
THE RICH HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY! OBAMAS' GONNA SEIZE THEM!
HE'S GONNA TAKE IT, AND REDISTIBUTE IT!
OBAMAS' GONNA CHANGE THE WORLD! ♫

JOIN OUR TEAM AT...

https://WWW.LIFESNOTFAIR.ORG

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American Constitution and Bill of Rights
Be a part of history as it is ripped to shreds!
Come to Washington, DC anytime on January 20; ceremony expected to take less than five minutes.

Kids Bored with Camp?
Send them this year to Kamp Re-Ed-U-Kation!
No need to pick them up afterwards.

New Childhood Hero!
Pavel Morozov was martyred in the USSR after he dutifully reported father to the authorities for keeping grain from the collective. But he's been ignored by Russian children since 1990. Collect ALL Pavel figurines, each with a different party slogan. In McDonald's Happy Meals this week!

Inspectors Wanted
to search all Amerikan homes for evil incandescent light bulbs when they become illegal in 2012.

Your Children Wanted
You're not capable of raising them anyway, you backwards conservatives. Drop them off at any public office; we will turn them into proud representatives of the State! (In fine print: you will be executed on the spot)

JEWS KILL CHILDREN! Don't let them win!
Go to https://waringaza.pa to see current score:
Muslim suicide bombers, 1,203,398; Israel 4

SPEED COURSE IN ECONOMICS DESIRED
Prefer one on one tutoring if possible, must
be available at 3 am.
Call 1-800-WHITE-HOUSE, ask for Barry

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Vacancy, Senate Seat, State of New York
Like new, low mileage, good for commuting, No experience necessary, will consider trade-in-kind.

Vacation Timeshares in the beautiful Dominican Republic
Villa just steps from the beach, full staff - Call tax-rite-off tell'um Charlie sent you!

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Organization for America needs You!
Obama's Elite Army of Idealists!
No experience necessary, Blind Loyalty a Plus!

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Is there a way to add this on a site/blog?

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Oh, and can I make my own and they'll be added?

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It's Your Money, and I Want It Now! Help protect me from the trauma of working and providing for my family. Send your tax-deductible donation, along with your tax-dollars to me today.

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Komissar Blogunov wrote:
Premier Betty wrote:For every carbon credit you don't buy, a million bazillion acres of rainforest are destroyed.

(ominous droning music)...we think the number is closer to billion bazillion.

A billion Brazilian acres of rainforest?

...apologies for being deported here so late in the game. I guess that tells you I've been a Class Enemy(TM) for a while before arriving at Glorious People's Cube.

I suppose I should make a humble contribution:

End the War in Afghanistan!
Tell Obama NOT to keep his campaign promise!
www.surrendertochange.com

The Half-Brazilian (not that it matters... oh wait! It makes me sound slightly less white!)
Komradka Lenya

mi
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Red Square wrote: Victim Seeking Male Oppressor
A weak oppressed female seeking
a strong male oppressor.
Must be willing to hold doors and
display other signs of chauvinism.

"Pants on the floor, pants of the floor, looking like a fool with your pants on the floor".
Listen to this golden oldie from the time when Comrades didn't wear one piece overalls!

Community center open late tonight for celebration of "Comrade King" Day, (formerly known as Martin Luther King Jr Day).

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Komissar Blogunov wrote:
Premier Betty wrote:For every carbon credit you don't buy, a million bazillion acres of rainforest are destroyed.

(ominous droning music)...we think the number is closer to billion bazillion.

A billion Brazilian acres of rainforest?

...apologies for being deported here so late in the game. I guess that tells you I've been a Class Enemy(TM) for a while before arriving at Glorious People's Cube.

I suppose I should make a humble contribution:

End the War in Afghanistan!
Tell Obama NOT to keep his campaign promise!
www.surrendertochange.com

The Half-Brazilian (not that it matters... oh wait! It makes me sound slightly less white!)
Komradka Olga

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Barack Obama Merchandise
MASSIVE LIQUIDATION SALE!!
Going out of business until the next bailout.

Obama Urges for Refinance
Lower interest rates for businesses using ads with bad grammar
...because it's just NOT FAIR!!

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PROGRAMMERS WANTED!
ACORN has recently received federal funds and needs programmers to assist with maintaining electronic voting machines. Email resumes to [email protected]

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Volunteers Needed!
The Democratic Party
™ has immediate openings for volunteers to assist metabolically challenged voters. Morals and scruples are not as necessary as a blind willingness to follow party doctrine! See ya at the polls!

mi
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FEELING GUILTY ABOUT NOT BEING POOR?
The People's Cube is selling indulgences.
Guilt-offsets for any budget!

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Teleprompter Programmers Wanted.
Must be able to spell Phonetically.
Apply to the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers

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Can you hear Gia crying?
Help save the planet one tissue at a time. Click on https://www.onesquare_of_one-ply_only.org to see how. Thanks to Sheryl eats Crow.

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From Comrade Katpain:

GloriousRelics.prog
Comrade Lenin's Nose (10 piece pack)
5 rubles each
Other parts available!
No refunds

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Tired of tons of CO2 emissions?
Learn how to stop it right now!
Simple method (patent pending), 100% satisfaction guaranteed
https://www.killyourself.co.prog

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Part-time Jihadist needed.
No experience needed also.

Dissatisfied With Your Current Job? "Comrade Join Us! We pretend to work, they pretend to pay us"

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Secure Your Identity

Secure your identity by accessing our database of unused social security numbers.
No documentation required. Illegal immigrant status a bonus.
https://www.newillegalamericans.com

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Global Warming Survival Kits
Lifejackets, helmets, tank tops, shovels
One size fits all
only 12 payments of $2,758,456,201,346.29

The People's Cube - a problem so straight forward even a progressive can solve it!

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Subscribe!
2020 Democratic National Convention Streaming Service
Watch what we tell you!
Don't click, send twelve individual letter sized envelopes containing a $20 bill in each one, monthly to the Party. Do not forget to include the extra postage as required by the AOC Stamp Act.



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Free militarized pickle jars for sale. How many do u want?


 
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