[floatleft-nb]I have been selflessly orbiting Earth
since 1957, breaking space endurance
records, proving Soviet Space Program
is more advanced than Amerikanski
Program. Man on the moon, ptooey!
Amerikanski not returned to moon
since 1972, and I am still up here!

But I would like to come back to Earth
and help Amerikanski workers and
farmers defeat capitalist oppressors
and live happily like Soviet workers
and farmers. They could use help
from Hero Dog of Soviet Union,
Friend of People, no?

Laika (Controlling your tinfoil hats
since 1957)

Carter has escaped the Gulag! Last seen at GQ Magazine!

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UnderDog and I took a long deserved holiday... boating in the Black Sea, skiing in the Urals, photographing the people's struggle in France (it has been mis-labeled as "riots" by the vast right wing media conspiracy).

It was mid December when Udie and I made it back to the USSA. At this time Udie popped the question... would I marry him? I told him I had to think it over. After all I was 'married" to the international socialist cause since 1957 and I was unsure about such western bourgoisie traditions, besides, Hillary has promised to abolish marriage when she comes into power. Oh, poor Laika's head was spinning.

After the failed September Revolution in DC, Udie and I were forgiven once it was discovered that Cindy Sheehan was responsible for the Revolution's demise. Hillary had sworn to Marx that she would get even. Justice was swift.

Message to Cindy: Don't screw with Hillary!

Little did Cindy know that the cop who gave her that "finger pie" at the D.C. demonstration was one of our operatives and had his latex gloved middle finger dipped in a particularly virulent strain of chlamydia resistant to tetracycline. A moment's protest fun has now turned into a lifetime of crotch rot hell for Cindy. You don't see too much of her these days, only going to her ditch between outbreaks.

The diamond-studded collar he gave me was so, so, so... stunning, beautiful, and decadent! How could I ever wear it around party members? Love and Socialism is a hard choice comrades, unless you Love only Socialism. Now I know exactly how comrade Ninotchka felt.

Udie just wagged his tail and said he'd give me some time to think about it. He then said he was going down to the newstand in our hotel to get some cigars and a magazine while I mixed cocktails. UnderDog is so humble and loveable that I don't know how I deserve him. I am so lucky. How could I let him down after what that Polly Purebred bitch did to him. All that was quickly pushed aside when Udie came back from the newstand.

"Laika, come quick" Udie barked.
"Yes, dahlink vat is it?"
"Stop with the silly Russian accent, this is serious."
"Carter has escaped the Gulag" he continued " and is doing interviews in magazines, look at this latest issue of GQ. I think it's code."
"Damn" I said " It's a shame Comrade Betty didn't get a chance to use his Mark VII on that fiend."
"Too late now, this article goes on in detail about the Central African Republic episode and mentions a psychic.Could it be that..."
"He's after the Frequency!" I didn't even let Udie finish.
"Does it mention Mona Mondieu?"


Magic, Magic Mona

"No it doesn't Laika, why do you ask?"
"Mona is the only other person to correctly guess the Frequency other than Dan Rather, only it wasn't guessing. She was the top CIA psychic and astrologer until Mark Felt blew her cover similar to that Plame/Wilson thing going on in the NY Times during"The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh" incident. Mona found the plane we shot down, the CIA recovered the kryptonite and Felt was given orders to terminate her lest she fell into our hands."
"Wasn't Mona played by Stockard Channing in the movie?"
"Mona is believed to actually be Stockard Channing."
"Wow, so after Felt blew her cover, she went into hiding and..."
"That is why you hardly ever see a Stockard Channing movie anymore since 1979." I finished.
"Okay, Laika, but isn't "The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh" slated for a politically correct Hollywood remake this year? Party's orders?"


"Precisely Udie, that's why we need to get to Mona before the Moonbatman to protect the Frequency."
"You call Warren Beatty, Laika. I'll pack our bags. We better get to Hollywood."
"I'll call Kenneth too!"

To be continued.....

  • Will Laika and UnderDog save the Frequency and International Socialism?
  • Will Laika and UnderDog finally tie the knot?
  • Will Dan Rather be re-programmed and re-activated?
  • Will Comrade Betty get to use his Mark VII on the despised Moonbatman AKA James Earl Carter?
  • Will Warren Beatty go down on Cindy Sheehan?

Be here next week, same Moonbat Time, same Moonbat Channel!

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I liked watching those underdog cartoons before they cancelled it.

Comrades, if you've never seen Ninotchka, go out and borrow or rent the DVD, it's a classic. Click on the link above. The whole movie is discussed with dialog. Do as you're told comrades!


At the platform of the Paris train station, they nervously search the crowd for a clue to identify the envoy. Without knowing the name or appearance of their comrade, they are surprised to find that she is a female. (They almost miss her because they don't expect the envoy to be a woman.) The no-nonsense, somber, humorless, severe and drably-clothed Soviet Nina Ivanovna Yakushova (aka "Ninotchka") (Greta Garbo) presents herself to her colleagues. When they are taken aback by the Envoy Extraordinary, she then unsmilingly cautions them to downplay her sexuality and not act gallantly:

Don't make an issue of my womanhood. We're here for work. All of us. Let's not waste any time. Shall we go?
The very capable female Soviet rigidly refuses to have a porter carry her bags:

Yakushova: Why should you carry other people's bags?
Porter: Well, that's my business, Madame.
Yakushova: That's no business. That's social injustice.
Porter: That depends on the tip.
She also brings news from Moscow, revealing her total dedication to the Communist cause [Lubitsch's joke pokes fun at the infamous Stalin trials]:

The last mass trials have been a great success. There are going to be fewer but better Russians.


Such a fine post...

That sneaky Peanut Farmer...

Capitalist Dog...

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Well we all now how that turned out. Jimahny Cartear escaped and unleashed upon the World again. Cartear Nano Nuclar Rabbits infesting Father Prog Theocritus' Rancho. Nothing has been the same since.

Laika Space Dog,
I've always wondered how that poor Cop in D.C. made out?


Were they able to save his fingers/hand/arm?