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Competition is a barbaric, insensitive ritual that reeks of social Darwinism. We cannot allow the fittest to survive on our pages. Your loss is someone else's gain, and your gain is someone else's loss. Therefore, losers contribute to the society and winners take away from it. Being a winner is unethical, while a society of losers is happy and striving as a collective. In the spirit of diversity, inclusiveness, and collectivism our contests shall have no winners. Everyone is declared a loser, which in our book means an ethical team player.

Obama's Umbrella: Caption This Picture

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The original caption was:

“President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama walk through a rainy Columbia Parc Development in New Orleans, Sunday, Aug. 29, 2010, on the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)”

I'm sure my comrades here in the bunker can think of something more suitable and put his reputation in the best light possible. PROVE ME WRONG!

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Bush blamed for continued rains in New Orleans

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"A Spoonful of soylent helps the socialism go down
The socialism go down-wown
The socialism go down
Just a spoonful of soylent helps the socialism go down
In a most delightful way"

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Obama: Dang it Michelle, this umbrella is defective.

Michelle: Oh lordy Barack, be careful, dat umbrella gonna fall on my head and crush me.


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I don't care, Michelle, if you get wet, or not. This umbrella was made in the U.K. You know how I hate the British.


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" POTUS & FLOTUS " rehearse their Mary Poppins routine .........


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*CLANK*"Why...can't I...get...this umbrella...through the doorway?!"*CLANK*

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With wife Michelle looking on, America's nanny, Barry Poppins, prepares to ascend to the skies with the help of his magical flying umbrella, shortly after having restored joy and sunshine to the beleaguered residents of New Orleans.

Practically perfect in every way, Barry Poppins even taught the downtrodden masses a wonderful new song and catchphrase to use if they ever needed a quick fix of hope and encouragement.…

“SuperEgoNihilisticBarryBeBodacious”

SuperEgoNihilisticBarryBeBodacious,
I know when you think of me
Your thoughts are quite salacious,
When they see the size of it,
The ladies say “good Gracious!”
SuperEgoNihilisticBarryBeBodacious.

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DAMN IT!! Those *&$#! reichwingers must be spitting from the Lincoln Memorial!! *&%$#!! Beck!!!

Mac the Poputchik wrote:With wife Michelle looking on, America's nanny, Barry Poppins, prepares to ascend to the skies with the help of his magical flying umbrella, shortly after having restored joy and sunshine to the beleaguered residents of New Orleans.

Practically perfect in every way, Barry Poppins even taught the downtrodden masses a wonderful new song and catchphrase to use if they ever needed a quick fix of hope and encouragement.…

“SuperEgoNihilisticBarryBeBodacious”

SuperEgoNihilisticBarryBeBodacious,
I know when you think of me
Your thoughts are quite salacious,
When they see the size of it,
The ladies say “good Gracious!”
SuperEgoNihilisticBarryBeBodacious.


I'm in pain. So much pain. I have selfishly enjoyed more of my fair share of Mac the Poputchik's generous wit than the party should allow. My apologies to the collective but my sides hurt now.

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I knew it had to be the Rethuglikkkan obstructionists at work.


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Good one prole Gorby, but perhaps instead of an umbrella, fearless Leader needs a hunting rifle?


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Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Good one prole Gorby, but perhaps instead of an umbrella, fearless Leader needs a hunting rifle?
That would be just desserts for that foul American fowl, Symbol of AmeriKKKan Appetite for War, Empire and Freshwater Fish™, but you know our Beloved Leader, whose compassion is exceeded only by the Prophet Muhammad's celestial servant Allah, would never harm a feather on his head, Fraulein Pulloskies. Besides, the Chairman's personal security detail has requested that he refrain from carrying a firearm since the unfortunate mishap that occurred during his covert fact-finding mission in Helmand Province...
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ALERT COMRADES!!!*** This photo makes our great leader look inept and clueless, we must SPIN this to our advantage! I have created a replacement photo, and suggest you all create one as well. If you don't choose to create one, please comrades, replace the fool-Obama photo, with this "teachable moment" Obama photo.
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Comrade Obama shows in a clear presentation how socialism is obviously greater than capitalism. Socialism is an umbrella, without it, capitalism get's all wet, like Katrina; and that's really bad.

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Prole Gorby, you are of most correctest. We can not allow the One, the Most Important, Most SmartestIntelligent One put this sacred fingers on a weaponry. oooh the damage he could do! And then where would we be?!

Now, might I suggest you remove such imagery before the FEMA, FBI or Mama Mo see of such.

F.A.R.C.E, it appears Mama Mo is about to hurl. Say it is not so!

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Fraulein Pulloskies wrote: F.A.R.C.E, it appears Mama Mo is about to hurl. Say it is not so!
Well, she in fact IS about to hurl! Can you blame her? She's staring right into the horrifying underbelly of capitalism!

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Profit4TheParty wrote:
Mac the Poputchik wrote:With wife Michelle looking on, America's nanny, Barry Poppins, prepares to ascend to the skies with the help of his magical flying umbrella, shortly after having restored joy and sunshine to the beleaguered residents of New Orleans.

Practically perfect in every way, Barry Poppins even taught the downtrodden masses a wonderful new song and catchphrase to use if they ever needed a quick fix of hope and encouragement.…

“SuperEgoNihilisticBarryBeBodacious”

SuperEgoNihilisticBarryBeBodacious,
I know when you think of me
Your thoughts are quite salacious,
When they see the size of it,
The ladies say “good Gracious!”
SuperEgoNihilisticBarryBeBodacious.


I'm in pain. So much pain. I have selfishly enjoyed more of my fair share of Mac the Poputchik's generous wit than the party should allow. My apologies to the collective but my sides hurt now.

Welcome Comrade Profit4TheParty,

Make sure you don't go over your allotment of laughter, lest you be taken in the night and sent to a picturesque Siberian outpost.

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That picture is a fake! It would never rain on Obama, and he would never be so clueless about what to do with an umbrella.

I can only think of one person who would be so bumbling, and that's George W. Bush.

Clearly someone has doctored this photo. Someone has removed the images of George and Laura, and replaced them with Barack and Michelle.

I demand to know who that is!

Opiate? You're the one who started this. You must know. Gee, I wonder what kind of reception I'd get if I braided your rabbit ears together and shoved them up your vacuum tubes. Or if I twisted your dials in the wrong direction? Just the thought makes your picture jump and skip, doesn't it?

You'd better start singing and naming names. And if you don't, well . . . I've always wanted a flat screen hanging on my wall.

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I cannot tell a lie (ha, that's one lie right there.) I got this picture from an anonymous source who sent it to me under an assumed name and told me to post it under a pseudonym and I told Comrade Whoopie I would. No wait, I didn't say "Comrade Whoopie", I meant to say Obamugabe but my fingers typed "Fraulein Puloskies" instead. Not that she did it either but, well, I'm just doing what good progs do, dropping names and trying to deflect blame. And I'm pretty sure Commissar Theocritus had nothing to do with this, but ask me again later after I check the mail for his blackmail payment.


Image Actually, I originally found it on Don Surber's blog but it has turned up in numerous other places since then.

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Whoopie donning his kevlar ushanka wrote:
Pinkie, don't listen to a word the talking TV says. I had no part in this. But the the Frau, now there's someone who deserves a whack. She says terrible things about you I can't repeat.

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Opiate of the People wrote:I cannot tell a lie (ha, that's one lie right there.) I got this picture from an anonymous source who sent it to me under an assumed name and told me to post it under a pseudonym and I told Comrade Whoopie I would. No wait, I didn't say "Comrade Whoopie", I meant to say Obamugabe but my fingers typed "Fraulein Puloskies" instead. Not that she did it either but, well, I'm just doing what good progs do, dropping names and trying to deflect blame. And I'm pretty sure Commissar Theocritus had nothing to do with this, but ask me again later after I check the mail for his blackmail payment.
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I DENOUNCE YOU. You're deflecting should be deflected to common proles and reichwingers (although I must say you have done a superior job of pointing the finger.... your Obama Studies ™ are paying off!)

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Fraulein, I will see your denouncement and raise you an anonymous media leak and an unauthorized revisionist biography. As a Party veteran, you know how this works; proles and reichwingers are small potatoes and we can't shoot them anyway because we need them to make the goods that we plan to steal expropriate for the common good. The only real sport is turning on each other before they have a chance to turn on us. Or as Comrade Trotsky's wife might have said, "Is there an ice axe in your skull or are you just glad to see me?"

Now to continue, I will categorically state that Comrade Elliot is absolutely not involved in this matter and by "absolutely not" I mean "is" but it kinda depends on what the meaning of "is" is. I will also say that Leninka and Red Rooster are probably innocent but my memory is kind of hazy here and some extra vodka and beet rations may help clear it up.

Let's see... I kinda think some others may be implicated but the picture is kinda fuzzy now (damn vacuum tube technology!) If those concerned wish to keep it that way, call my apparatchick at 1-800-DENOUNCE.

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Opiate of the People wrote:...
Now to continue, I will categorically state that Comrade Elliot is absolutely not involved in this matter and by "absolutely not" I mean "is" but it kinda depends on what the meaning of "is" is. I will also say that Leninka and Red Rooster are probably innocent but my memory is kind of hazy here and some extra vodka and beet rations may help clear it up.

Let's see... I kinda think some others may be implicated but the picture is kinda fuzzy now (damn vacuum tube technology!) If those concerned wish to keep it that way, call my apparatchick at 1-800-DENOUNCE.

oh, yes, I see clearly now. The definition... it's always those definitions, that bring down our glorious leaders. But, we have no "innocent" ones here, we are all glorious humbly proud to be guilt of progressiveness, eh comrade!?

1-800-DENOUNCE... I denounce that!! That was to be MY personal number!!

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"Dammit! The Teleprompter didn't tell me I need to close the umbrella!"

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After taking on "Big Oil", President Obama decides to go after "Big Umbrella".

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"President Obama hones the problem solving skills he will use to solve unemployment"


 
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