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Global Warming Consensus Reaches 130% with -50% Against

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It's official: the consensus for Man-made Climate Change is now over-unanimous. The results from a recent poll conducted by the Mann-Hansen Group strongly support Man-made Climate Change theories by 130% for to -50% against. This unprecedented result was obtained by counting a 'no' vote as a negative response which is added by subtracting. This also generates a positive feedback raising the pro vote beyond the 100% level.

Explained a Mann-Hansen expert, "Yes, the numbers don't exactly add up to 100, a discrepancy we attribute to the carbon offset, as the poll takers, being life forms, have quite a bit of carbon in them. In any case, the whole thing has man's carbon fingerprints all over it. Our computer models can rectify this using the customary Flexible Up and Down Guess Estimate, or FUDGE factor. This might seem unnatural, but Man-made Climate Change is unnatural, so the consensus may as well be, too. You have to fight fire with fire."

He continued, "The Precautionary Principle would seem to imply we act with caution, but as the consensus has passed the 100% tipping point, it no longer applies. This invokes the Post-Cautionary Principle meaning radical, precipitous action is now required. Which is what we've been saying all along, only now we've produced some overwhelming numbers to back us up."

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Binary subtraction is the result of inversion followed by addition. What more validation of the Mann-Hansen method do you need?

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Now, all they have to do is figure out how to unfreeze all of those hockey sticks frozen in the Arizona tundra, leftover from the late 2030's where the Winter Olympics were held for the first time.

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They are using the Arizona ice fields as a gulag for unreformed Neo-Republicans.

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Hell freezes over; global-warming deniers exploit incident to mislead public

The headline is true!!! The incessant mocking by the deniers is truly absurd!!!

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Reiuxcat wrote:Hell freezes over; global-warming deniers exploit incident to mislead public

The headline is true!!! The incessant mocking by the deniers is truly absurd!!!

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Hell has indeed frozen over and it goes by the erstwhile name of Minnesota. Check this out:

$700.00 fine and 90 days in jail.

I honestly could not believe this when I read it. Idling is illegal? What Minnesotan DOESN'T idle his car in the morning frost? Why the sound of idling cars in the crackling crispness of a crystalline Minnesota morning is a statewide tradition. Yet another example of bringing on the glorious benefits of next Tuesday.

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Oh, Comrade Elliott needs to see this. I wonder if he is aware of the law. And don't forget in Wisconsin where Greenergy LED Traffic Lights are freezing over and causing accidents.

http://www.620wtmj.com/news/local/79008352.html

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Leninka wrote:... don't forget in Wisconsin where Greenergy LED Traffic Lights are freezing over and causing accidents.

http://www.620wtmj.com/news/local/79008352.html

I never thought of that but of course those damn things are loaded with Mercury and that's REALLY good for the environment.

BTW I only learned of this bonehead law from my students so it may still be in its infancy.

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Mercury is in LED lights as well? I thought that was just the twisted bulbs...

[prog off]
Either way, this is still pretty stupid. "Hey, it might cause a deadly accident, but we SAVED ENERGY! Maybe if you kept your tires inflated like Obama said, this wouldn't have happened to you!"

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Comrade Olga,

Your memory serves the collective well. At least someone is keeping a record of all of Dear Leader's directives. There ought to be some kind of compilation of all of them, because before long, we won't be able to keep all of the rules and regulations in our brains, especially with all the trips to Jiffi-Lobo.

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I believe Jiffi-Lobo has made a technological advancement whereby we will still be able to retain DL's directives... and nothing else.

comrad rudedawgsky
happy new year comrads. aahh yes figures do not lie. manmade global warming must be true as the figures prove. but alas.....there is an old saying in our country (texas) that goes; figures don't lie, but liars figure. and those with the best liars get the figures they want............. it appears that comrad algore has hired the best liars in the world...

by the way we had our first snowy white christmas in 80 years and it's colder than a well-digger's ass in january down here........so i guess the figures are lying

What is important is that the overwhelming consensus on global warming remains unchanged. It is also worth noting that the panel's scientists — acting in good faith on the best information then available to them — probably underestimated the range of sea-level rise in this century, the speed with which the Arctic ice cap is disappearing and the speed with which some of the large glacial flows in Antarctica and Greenland are melting and racing to the sea.

Because these and other effects of global warming are distributed globally, they are difficult to identify and interpret in any particular location. For example, January was seen as unusually cold in much of the United States. Yet from a global perspective, it was the second-hottest January since surface temperatures were first measured 130 years ago. globalwarmingsurvivalcenter.com

This analysis was made possible by Michael Mann's revolutionary "Mannian" statistical methods, perfected when he pulled the original Hockey Stick graph out of his butt. There's a rumor that Steve McIntyre and Ross McKitrick, after many futile attempts to get the Mann-Hansen group to release its raw data and codes so it could be checked by independent investigators, finally reversed engineered the mess and found that you can plug any numbers into the formula and the result is more than 100%. But don't expect to see these results published any time soon. Gavin Schmidt is hard at work corrupting the peer review process to keep it from being published and Ben Santer has punched Patrick Michaels in the nose.

Science is so inscrutable! It's so far above us, we can never hope to understand it. Thank glob we have the priestesses of truth to explain it all...

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Roy-Al wrote:Science is so inscrutable! It's so far above us, we can never hope to understand it. Thank glob we have the priestesses of truth to explain it all...
Michael Barone is an ETOP™ for blaspheming against the High and well massaged Priest of the Church of Global Warming in his May 11, 2009 Townhall article "On Guns and Climate, the Elites Are Out of Touch":
"Ordinary Americans are seen not as responsible fellow citizens building stable communities but as greedy masses, who must be disciplined to live according to the elite's religious dogmas
. " How dare Barone question the wisdom of his intellectual betters whom Mother Earth Goddess Gaia has appointed over us? Al Gorical has pronounced "Earth's Interior 'Extremely Hot, Several Million Degrees'" and so I must be so.


 
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