Stormtroopers invade China

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BEIJING - As the lights went out last night, China got unexpected visitors from space. Sadly, the Party and the government were not prepared for the all-out assault of invaders from outer space. Neither was there time to call for international help, although it is doubtful China would have ever asked for it since they are used to handling their problems on their own.

After a quick battle, the Stormtroopers liberated China.

The news of President Xi Jinping signing China to The First Order provoked different types of reaction from the United States and Russia. Russia has begun to mobilize a force to counter The First Order, while President Obama has decisively drawn several lines in the sand and condemned the invasion.

We can only hope The First Order recognizes and abides by the same principles as our People's Government.