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Biden's Recent and Rare Marathon Presser Reveals the Truth

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It took two hours for Biden to make his case for the brilliance of his presidency.

As it happens, I know a guy who was on the premises when this transpired. His name is Kevin Kim and here’s what he observed:

REPORTER: The UK is dropping its mask mandate. Will the US follow suit?

BIDEN: Pizza triangulation smoke frogfücker.

REPORTER: Is that a yes?

BIDEN: Farthole momentum drive-train rabbits.

REPORTER: Could you clarify, sir?

BIDEN: Candy-coated testicle surgery.

REPORTER: Thank you, Mr. President.

Immediately Following News Report:

Today, President Joe Biden clearly addressed the question of whether the United States would follow the example of the United Kingdom and drop the mask mandate country-wide. Biden expressed optimism that a decision may be made on the issue in due time.

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Goober Pile’s Joe Biden imitation:

“Jim Crow, Jim Crow, Jim Crow.”

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Meet Joe Biden, the home automation expert and President of USSA.




One decorative painting job, Sister Bunny assisted. The lovely woman desiring me to embellish her furniture had a parrot, Julio. Sister Bunny understood people through their pets. The years of laughter later we enjoyed recalling our days spent with Julio.

'pelipsky doesn't get the same enjoyment factor from Joe the automaton parrot.

forelock tug,
'pelipsky

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Biden reacts to great news:
Biden was told that he will be
President
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in 2022!
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Pamalinsky, wonderful reporting. It almost made sense to me. Especially the quote about candy-coated testicle surgery. I think that is actually our future. "This won't hurt a bit." The Party™ always knows what's Best™.

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Margaret wrote:Goober Pile’s Joe Biden imitation:

“Jim Crow, Jim Crow, Jim Crow.”

Quoted the Biden Automaton Parrot.

And...Because of Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt, 'pelipsky is going to add more to the years of laughter and joy rememoring the 'pelipsky sister's profession related contact with Julio, the parrot. Junlio was BIG and GREEN. Julio was not volumed controlled, when he decided to relate to others. Sister Bunny would reason with Julio not to do that, If Sister Bunny couldn't reason into Julio, then no one could.Together, the 'pelipsky sisters concluded, just because Julio asked if we wanted a cracker; it didn't mean he had one to provide.

So, most esteemed KKKomrade, just because the Biden Automaton Parrot can say, "candy coated testicle surgery", it doesn't mean he can, anymore than Julio. Go do some kick boxing, have a margarita and relax, comrade.

Margaret wrote:Goober Pile’s Joe Biden imitation:

“Jim Crow, Jim Crow, Jim Crow.”

Quoted the Biden Automaton Parrot.


forelock tug,
'pelipsky

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jackalopelipsky wrote:Go do some kick boxing, have a margarita and relax, comrade.

I think I'll skip some of Psaki's advice, comrade, and just go with the margarita. Have you ever seen kangaroos kick boxing? It's not fun.


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Hey Jackalopelipsy,

This one’s for you (and any possible nosey others).

In a land far, far away (that would be Vegas) my brother owned a parrot named Petie. One day we asked Petie if he’d like a little apple and then we asked if he’d like a little cracker. We went on and on about this for at least four rounds of questions. Every time we asked the question, Petie repeated it.

Here’s what happened next:

Bro: Hey Petie, wanna little cracker?
Petie: Wanna little cracker?
Bro: So Petie, wanna a little apple?
Petie: Wanna little apple?
Several repetitions later, Petie, shifting from side to side with increasing excitement said, and I quote: Wanna little Crapple?

Never doubt parrots. They know everything. I swear under oath that this is a true story. Do not doubt me!

Edit: Some punctuation changes to provide a more "linguistical" experience for the reader.


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Comforting to know that the President* has my cousins in his scrambled thoughts. As a matter of fact, it may be that my cousins actually scrambled his thoughts. We'll never know.

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Red Square wrote:Biden knows words.
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Word Salad with sliced crapple for all!

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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:Comforting to know that the President* has my cousins in his scrambled thoughts. As a matter of fact, it may be that my cousins actually scrambled his thoughts. We'll never know.
I have it on good authority that they pumped him up with the good stuff that day. So there's that. It was important that he demonstrated he could stand up as long as possible. Priorities! Priorities!

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After viewing the instructive kangaroo kick boxing video, provided by Kapitan of Kangaroo Court system, and since we're all supposed to kick box and have a margarita, 'pelipsky thinks we're going to need more Biden sand bags for practice.

Learning to go both feet into the nuts of a sand bag like Biden did to Corn Pop, well, comrades, if that's what it's going to take.

Right?? Margarita's behind Tractor Barn #2 after workout.

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Pamalinsky wrote:
Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:Comforting to know that the President* has my cousins in his scrambled thoughts. As a matter of fact, it may be that my cousins actually scrambled his thoughts. We'll never know.
I have it on good authority that they pumped him up with the good stuff that day. So there's that. It was important that he demonstrated he could stand up as long as possible. Priorities! Priorities!

Kind of like using electricity to make a dead frog jump? ??? The chicanery of medicine.

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Pamalinsky wrote:
Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:Comforting to know that the President* has my cousins in his scrambled thoughts. As a matter of fact, it may be that my cousins actually scrambled his thoughts. We'll never know.
I have it on good authority that they pumped him up with the good stuff that day. So there's that. It was important that he demonstrated he could stand up as long as possible. Priorities! Priorities!

I'm sure shouting at reporters is exhausting for one his age.

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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:
1/26/2022, 12:01 am
Pamalinsky wrote:
Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote: Comforting to know that the President* has my cousins in his scrambled thoughts. As a matter of fact, it may be that my cousins actually scrambled his thoughts. We'll never know.
I have it on good authority that they pumped him up with the good stuff that day. So there's that. It was important that he demonstrated he could stand up as long as possible. Priorities! Priorities!

I'm sure shouting at reporters is exhausting for one his age.
Yeah, especially when you can only spew one syllable at a time. That's gotta be tough. Somehow though, I just can't seem to find any sympathy for him at this time.
 


 
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