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DoD's Hashtag Command Center on High Alert

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Arlington, Virginia -- In the very lowest level of the Pentagon sits the Hashtag Command Center, headquarters for the Department of Defense's primary offensive weapon for the last 12 years: the US Department of Hashtag Operations (DHO).  They operate in well trained two-man squads, much like sniper teams.  Instead of 'sniper' and 'spotter', however, hashtag operatives have a 'typer' and a 'spell checker.'

Back when US military operations were lethal like a pointy stick, Marines and Special Operations forces were sometimes called the 'tip of the spear.'  Defense policies from the last decade are more like a puff of uncomfortably hot air.  The DHO is considered the business end of that puff of air - the 'tweets on the ground.'

Set up by the Obama administration shortly after his inauguration, the DHO has mostly been deployed for small surgical strikes against guerrilla and terrorist organizations.  The most famous and effective campaign to date was lead by the first lady: Michelle Obama's famous strike against raping and murdering Nigerian terrorists in 2016.  Like the heroine from a Tom Clancy novel, Mrs. Obama led from the front with a sad face picture of herself holding a military-grade tactical hashtag.  To this day, saying the phrase "BringBackOurGirls" - with or without "hashtag" in front of it - will cause Boko Haram terrorists to start shaking in fear.  Many will involuntarily soil themselves.

Rumors are buzzing around Washington that these mighty warriors may be called upon to assist with defending the Ukraine, currently under attack by Russia.

Ukrainian President Voldomyr Zelenskyy has been widely quoted for his defiant messaging, mistranslated as "I need ammunition, not a ride."  What was actually said was "I need hashtags, not a ride" spurring the DHO to start preparing several hashtags from military stockpiles to be shipped to Ukraine.  Offensive hashtag operations have not been authorized yet, but the world continues to offer its thoughts and prayers that they will.

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Tip of the hat to Komissar al-Blogunov - this idea is completely plagiarized, but I know that is acceptable in our glorious new future as long as it serves the Greater Good.

https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog ... 22440.html

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I am proud to be an American at this moment. I admit, for an O.B. like myself, this is an unaccustomed feeling, but these brave men and women give me hope for the Glorious World of Next Tuesday.


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Panem Et Circenses wrote:
3/4/2022, 10:53 am
Like the heroine from a Tom Clancy novel, Mrs. Obama led from the front with a sad face picture of herself holding a military-grade tactical hashtag.  To this day, saying the phrase "BringBackOurGirls" - with or without "hashtag" in front of it - will cause Boko Haram terrorists to start shaking in fear.  Many will involuntarily soil themselves.
This is precisely why civilians don't need military-grade tactical hashtags.  It's high time for common sense hashtag control.

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Has the ministry of awareness ribbons released the official word on what we are supposed to be wearing?

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Panem Et Circenses wrote:
3/4/2022, 10:53 am
Arlington, Virginia -- In the very lowest level of the Pentagon sits the Hashtag Command Center, headquarters for the Department of Defense's primary offensive weapon for the last 12 years: the US Department of Hashtag Operations (DHO).  They operate in well trained two-man squads, much like sniper teams.  Instead of 'sniper' and 'spotter', however, hashtag operatives have a 'typer' and a 'spell checker.'

Back when US military operations were lethal like a pointy stick, Marines and Special Operations forces were sometimes called the 'tip of the spear.'  Defense policies from the last decade are more like a puff of uncomfortably hot air.  The DHO is considered the business end of that puff of air - the 'tweets on the ground.'

Set up by the Obama administration shortly after his inauguration, the DHO has mostly been deployed for small surgical strikes against guerrilla and terrorist organizations.  The most famous and effective campaign to date was lead by the first lady: Michelle Obama's famous strike against raping and murdering Nigerian terrorists in 2016.  Like the heroine from a Tom Clancy novel, Mrs. Obama led from the front with a sad face picture of herself holding a military-grade tactical hashtag.  To this day, saying the phrase "BringBackOurGirls" - with or without "hashtag" in front of it - will cause Boko Haram terrorists to start shaking in fear.  Many will involuntarily soil themselves.

Rumors are buzzing around Washington that these mighty warriors may be called upon to assist with defending the Ukraine, currently under attack by Russia.

Ukrainian President Voldomyr Zelenskyy has been widely quoted for his defiant messaging, mistranslated as "I need ammunition, not a ride."  What was actually said was "I need hashtags, not a ride" spurring the DHO to start preparing several hashtags from military stockpiles to be shipped to Ukraine.  Offensive hashtag operations have not been authorized yet, but the world continues to offer its thoughts and prayers that they will.
This is reminds me of the Department of Socks that Obama instigated in 2014. Socks were sent to Ukraine back then and were so effective that the EU decided to set up a rapid reaction force that would take a year to reach Ukraine. Apparently, it's working as designed.
 

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:
3/4/2022, 6:25 pm
Has the ministry of awareness ribbons released the official word on what we are supposed to be wearing?Image
So far, these are the only two items:
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external-content.duckduckgo-1.jpg
Not sure about the last one; it's radiation proof butI think the consensus was that they're all uncomfortable. 

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'pelipsky, while on re-education hashtag mission in keeping with the main idea of this post, was able to tunnel into DoD's Hash Tag Command Center and planted #TPC Virus.

 #UkrainianCommotionalRescue

hashinforthecollectiveforelocktug,
'pelipsky
 

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I didn't know bras are radiation proof. Maybe I should wear one on my face. I'm sure it would be an effective protection against the Corona hangover virus.

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Other Ivan, the DOD is NOT going to escalate matters to the Awareness Ribbon stage. They are not madmen, you know.

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Ivan Betinov wrote:
3/4/2022, 10:37 pm
Other Ivan, the DOD is NOT going to escalate matters to the Awareness Ribbon stage. They are not madmen, you know.

I'm sure awareness bras are perfectly acceptable at this stage.

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I'm sure awareness bras are perfectly acceptable at this stage.
Comrades, I would prefer the use of pasties instead of bras. Of course, they would have to be made of various sizes to fit and picture nuclear blasts sites in various shades and colors. There would be an age limit between 18 and 35, which would support the politics of this venture. Seating would be limited at tractor barn #09. However, while not cloaking myself in a rainbow of moral superiority, I simply refuse to be tortured by  Transgendered diversity and insist that agnostic progressives find tractor barn #133 to have their pasties stapled on.  

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Since everybody's wearing a beret these days, I like how the HCC is distinguishing itself with oversized aviator shades.  Since these will even overawe and instill a sense of meekness in military aviators, there's no telling how terrifying they appear to a potential adversary.

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
3/8/2022, 1:14 pm
Since everybody's wearing a beret these days, I like how the HCC is distinguishing itself with oversized aviator shades.  Since these will even overawe and instill a sense of meekness in military aviators, there's no telling how terrifying they appear to a potential adversary.
Oversized shades and berets? Is there no limit to the insanity of weaponry? My God! We're not even over the Corona hangover virus and we have to deal with this now?
 

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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:
3/8/2022, 10:18 pm
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
3/8/2022, 1:14 pm
Since everybody's wearing a beret these days, I like how the HCC is distinguishing itself with oversized aviator shades.  Since these will even overawe and instill a sense of meekness in military aviators, there's no telling how terrifying they appear to a potential adversary.
Oversized shades and berets? Is there no limit to the insanity of weaponry? My God! We're not even over the Corona hangover virus and we have to deal with this now?

Putin has warned NATO members that shades one size larger will be seen as a declaration of war.
 

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Putin has warned NATO members that shades one size larger will be seen as a declaration of war.
biden_shades.jpg

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
3/8/2022, 10:35 pm
Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:
3/8/2022, 10:18 pm
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
3/8/2022, 1:14 pm
Since everybody's wearing a beret these days, I like how the HCC is distinguishing itself with oversized aviator shades.  Since these will even overawe and instill a sense of meekness in military aviators, there's no telling how terrifying they appear to a potential adversary.
Oversized shades and berets? Is there no limit to the insanity of weaponry? My God! We're not even over the Corona hangover virus and we have to deal with this now?
Putin has warned NATO members that shades one size larger will be seen as a declaration of war.
That's entirely understandable, comrade. If you watch the following short video, you will notice how dangerous oversized shades can be.


 


 
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