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Member of Putin's military staff dead by "mysterious circumstances"

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Vladimir Putin: Head of his military campaign found dead 'under mysterious circumstances'


When Joe's American Army fails to meet recruiting goals, so what.

When Putin's Army fails to meet recruiting goals, Lieutenant Colonel Roman "Epstien" Malik, age 49, the man responsible for achieving his quota (cough) "Chooses" (wink wink) to go out in the yard and "allegedly" hang himself.

Details as they happen, films at Ten...

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:
10/17/2022, 3:31 pm
When Putin's Army fails to meet recruiting goals, Lieutenant Colonel Roman "Epstien" Malik, age 49, the man responsible for achieving his quota (cough) "Chooses" (wink wink) to go out in the yard and "allegedly" hang himself.
That would have been my top headline if I'd published The People's Noose today.
 

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:
10/17/2022, 3:31 pm

When Putin's Army fails to meet recruiting goals, Lieutenant Colonel Roman "Epstien" Malik, age 49, the man responsible for achieving his quota (cough) "Chooses" (wink wink) to go out in the yard and "allegedly" hang himself.

Details as they happen, films at Ten...

Comrade Ivan, are you saying films of the solitarily conducted alleged hanging are at 10...?

Um....never mind too many questions can get a Kapitan into trouble. I've seen enough Kangaroo Kourts to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run.

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Film? How can there be film, when the security camera was turned off?

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Things like this can happen when there's no 15th floor open window handy.

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The ah... films are of flowers in meadows, puppies in a basket, tractors plowing huge fields in an echelon formation, comrades bringing in a bountiful harvest, there's footage of a parade, lines and lines of soldiers signing their enlistment contracts to serve the Motherland, and sailboats at sunset.

Oh, of course all of this will be interspersed with footage of family, friends, and conscripted mourners crying.

(Don't be the first to stop crying on camera. We're watching. Always watching.)

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:
10/19/2022, 10:39 am
(Don't be the first to stop crying on camera. We're watching. Always watching.)

Don't be the first to start crying on Crimea, either. That we're definitely watching.

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Trying to read between the quote marks is so nuanced. Was he hung on the fence with his own belt, tie, or bedsheet? Was this a kinky sex act out in the front yard?

Was the recruit quota met? Or, did he meet some quota on the way to office?

None of the quota marks are answering the nuance going on in this news story.

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jackalopelipsky wrote:
10/19/2022, 12:11 pm
Trying to read between the quote marks is so nuanced. Was he hung on the fence with his own belt, tie, or bedsheet? Was this a kinky sex act out in the front yard?

Was the recruit quota met? Or, did he meet some quota on the way to office?

None of the quota marks are answering the nuance going on in this news story.

I think we need to look to the USSA indoctrination education system to find the answers to those questions.


 
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