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2nd PA Debate Will Feature Cardboard Cutout of Fetterman

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Pennsylvania, PA -- The second televised match-up between US Senate candidates John Fetterman and Dr. Mehmet Oz is scheduled for Tuesday Nov. 1.  The first debate last week featured a couple awkward moments as Mr. Fetterman - who is recovering rapidly from a serious stroke this past May - struggled to answer questions, despite usage of technology aids to assist with his comprehension of questions.

The second debate was recently scheduled and was pushed for by the Fetterman campaign for last minute image repair before voting concludes in about 10 days.  The campaign requested and was granted the unusual step of not having Mr. Fetterman actually present, but instead a cardboard cutout of the candidate.  Verbal responses will be provided by a Bluetooth speaker that will answer questions based on the campaign's pre-recorded talking points.

Fetterman campaign manager Joann Shifty stated "This new format will really showcase how our candidate will perform when they are in the US Senate.  I can't wait for November!"


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Comrade 67 Chevy

About this cardboard cutout. Would anyone notice? Leadership should have thought of this before as I'm sure the cardboard would have been far more articulate and cogent. Just another misstep by The Party™. Something that has been happening with increasing regularity. It's almost like leadership is throwing the midterms to blame those EVIL Rethuglikkkans for everything coming down the pike due to our policies. The perfect trap.

I remain
Dr. Chicago

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I expect the cardboard cut-out to be far more lucid than the original candidate. The Party™ continues to be innovative.

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Ya know, Premier Cho Bai-Din got "elected" (giggle) by never coming out of his basement. A good printer could churn out enough Joe cutouts that the 2024 incumbent could be EVERYWHERE, and the re-election would be in the bag (like those bags of ballots that show up at 2AM during the (ahem...cough cough) intermission) !

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:
10/30/2022, 7:54 pm
Ya know, Premier Cho Bai-Din got "elected" (giggle) by never coming out of his basement. A good printer could churn out enough Joe cutouts that the 2024 incumbent could be EVERYWHERE, and the re-election would be in the bag (like those bags of ballots that show up at 2AM during the (ahem...cough cough) intermission) !

Good use of the new "Giggle Quotes" style sheet, tractor barn Ivan. Shame your transmission was jammed there at the end...use of "Giggle Quotes" is being tracked and blocked.
Ivan? Ivan??? "wonder why he's not replying?"

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Preview from the forthcoming USPS "Mediocre Politicians" series:
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(0¢ indicates zero sense.)


 
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